Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

Its not friends holidays, your friend is a twat

Projecting her low self esteem onto you, bringing you down. Fuck THAT

Ask her directly what the issue is and point out calmly everything she has said that's hurt your feelings. It sounds like she's got some issues and taking them out on you. If you feel as though you can't speak to her, text her all how you feel. Sounds like your friendship is finished if she being like that.

This is appalling. Yes, I think she is trying to shame you.

As soon as you see her taping or taking a photo, stop her immediately, if you can.

Ask the group chat to delete what she's already sent.

Tell this woman today that you no longer consider her a friend. Do your own thing, on your own. Turn down requests for company. Ignore her when she speaks to you.

Dump her as a friend. Tell the group she's a biatch.

She's no friend. Dump her.

You’re not the problem. She is.
She sounds bloody awful.
is she always like this? If not, I’d ask her why she is being so mean and nit picky.
If she is, why on Earth did you go on holiday with her?

I’d put headphones on, try and ignore her and enjoy myself best I could then quietly ditch once I got home

but put a stop to the videoing though, “sorry please don’t video me”. That’s just downright creepy.

You must like some things about each other otherwise you wouldn't be on holiday so build on that. You don't sound proud about the way you snapped but you could maybe tell her how bad you feel. Maybe just clear the air and if she doesn't get it then come home?

Very cheeky. You need to unfriend her. She has gone over the line!

Aways own room when holidaying with friends. I have had some bad experiences in my 20's and ever since then it is a must. It can really increase the cost but I need it for my own sanity and would rather pay extra and have an enjoyable holiday than the whole holiday be a nightmare.

Straight off the top of my head, so I apologise if this sounds a little blunt (although after Forgotmypassagain’s comment I’m feeling pretty safe with what I’ve written 😂)

Are you sure this woman is your friend? The way she talks to you, which also seems to convey how she thinks of you, sounds as if she only wants you around so that she can make herself feel better, and more superior, by criticising aspects of your appearance, your actions, and your choices all the time.

In my opinion, friends back each other up, positively encourage and compliment each other, and generally make each other feel better, not worse!

Has this suddenly started to happen? Is it a surprise to you? Has she always been like this, but it’s suddenly become worse?
I’m not trying to say that you should have known better if it wasn’t a surprise to you. It’s just that, if this hasn’t happened before, or it’s suddenly become worse for some reason, then, instead of listening to my comments below, you may feel that it’s more appropriate to be a good friend and try and find out what’s behind it all.

If I had a ‘friend’ like her, well, well I just wouldn’t. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say that I did, and that I was in your situation on holiday, she’d have been taken to one side, somewhere private and out of the way, and the facts of life explained to her. The things she had said, and the feelings that those things illicit in you. Then she’d be told, in no uncertain terms, to sort herself out. That if she can’t say anything nice then to stfu and not say anything at all. Then, if that didn’t work, she would cease to be any part of my life from that point onwards. She would effectively be choosing to continue to do and say things that were hurtful to you. No excuses for that.

In the event that you are, which I imagine is the case, sharing a room with her, then I would, first, make sure you have your own room key, and then spend what holiday time you have left by yourself, only using the room to sleep and wash etc. Unless, of course, she wants to take a serious self-examination of her words and actions and apologise. Unfortunately she doesn’t sound like the kind of person that does that kind of thing.
Or, you could take a flight home a.s.a.p., but that might be costly, depending on the holiday deal you have.

Most of all, good luck.

TBG

On the quiet, I think that we sometimes ignore, or let pass slight irritations from friends, as we are in our comfort zone, and can easily walk away from the situation, so less pressure is experienced, but being cooped with someone on a holiday, which should be rather a total fun thing or an adventure, can exacerbate ppls idiosyncrasys,. In other words, it can turn someone from being a slight irritant, to being a total C**T. Try to get through this as easy as you can for your own sanity, smoothing the situation as much as possible, or even avoid said person as much as possible, but never go on holiday, or be in their company for a longer than normal period of time again. And if you feel that they have been totally unreasonable, if you can, cut them out of your life, as it's too short, and you will feel more confident for doing so. Some ppl just like to suck the life out of others, and it's quite obvious why they do that. It's most likely to bring your level of self worth, down to their level. Don't fall into that trap. Your self awareness is evident that you are a far more together person then she is. From my own experience in the past. Get your self away from the unhealthy and poisenous environment.

She'll be embarrassed; she didn't think you'd pull her up on being a cunt, you have and it's highlighted what a shit perosn she is.

Good on you.

The friend sounds very narcissistic and has shown her true self. An insecure person that you really do not need or deserve. Move on and enjoy your life awsy from toxic people.

Has there been any further negativity from your friend @Poolsiders ? Are you home now or were you on a fortnight break?

I leave napkins on plates,didn't think that was wrong .

Not sure what maturity has to do with it. The friend sounds like hard work and OP reacted as she's human.

She sounds awful OP

YANBU

That sounds absolutely horrific. Never go with her again and do separate things until you can get home (if you are still there)! I’m so sorry! And don’t be friends with her at home either. That’s sounds horrendous and she sounds like she has a lot of issues. 🙏🙏

You're totally in the right.- she sounds like an absolute b1tch. I had a friend like this years ago, we were friends since school till mid thirties. Every time we met (not regularly).she'd always make digs to me, go belittle & only ever me. On my hen weekend she caused a load of drama (basically trying to make it about her?!) and made some really inappropriate comments about my to-be husband. Couple of years later she made a comment about my sons name & that was it - never spoke to her again.

Just ignore her.
Go off and do your own thing.

Hi, this is not a friend. Nothing sounds friendly about her, has she always been like this? It is not alright anyhow, either she detoxes her self or you detox her.

I am not even sure if narasism is an issue here, because she seems to have enough self awareness to be pleasant now. I do think there is definitely an element of another mental disorder there though, possibly bipolar, although I am not sure if that make ppl an outward t**t. For your own sanity, get rid.

She is not your friend. Your friends celebrate you, even with tomato stained fingers! She sounds like an unhappy person who is projecting her own insecurities on to you. Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Get your sweet self some glorious people who are easy and positive around you. ❤️

Ask her if she likes sex and travel, then tell her to go take a flying fuck to herself.

What a total pain in the arse🤬🤬 Better off without her

She's jealous and she wants to bring you down.