Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

[Poolsiders]

Have been on holiday for four days with friend in Turkey and she hasn’t stopped making comments to me the whole time.

Ever since the airport, it’s been this sly little things and I don’t understand. I’ve just snapped at her and now she’s gone off saying I’m unreasonable and I don’t think I am.

Started with putting my case down, “you’ve got a lot of black in there are you here for a holiday or a funeral?” Then at the bar “why are you having that cocktail, why are you wearing that to go down to dinner, why why why” questions.

Constantly listening to stories about all her family members including great aunts, sisters lives stories but tried telling her about something I’m going through and got a “I’ve already heard this you typed it on the group chat” And then resumes to show me pics of her aunts dog :/

Sat on the sunbed, not feeling the most confident as I’ve gained weight recently but friend is bigger than I am. Never mention her weight ever to her. she keeps I think hinting people find me gross?

“That lady keeps looking over at you?” Me “oh is she, I don’t know why” “yeah she keeps giving you really dirty looks” I was like erm ok.

Then today at lunch, “that lady over there looked at you so disgustingly when you were eating that tomato with your hand” I did pick up a bit tiny that I couldn’t cut but usually manners are brilliant “she obviously thinks you’re disgusting”

I was like ok, then got up and wiped my hands and she said “are you seriously leaving that tissue you’ve wiped your hands on your dirty plate?” And I just snapped.

I actually don’t think that holidays with friends are for me. Had this once before when I was younger I think tensions run high when you’re away with someone.

my mum actually fell out with her best friend of 15 years on holiday and they never spoke again apparently it’s common to lose friends when holidaying!

Stop trying to blame the OP

urgh same here but my mother

just got back from holiday with her it was hell

also snapped

and she wonders why she can’t keep friends they all end up ghosting her

so sorry op

I was actually shaking my head while reading this. What a crank, is not spend any more time with her

I think you need to point out to her why you're acting as you are towards her. explain how her comments made you feel & ask her if the shoe was n the other foot & you kept on at her how would she feel. Say you'd like to enjoy the rest of the holiday & will be doing your own thing as you don't want to fall out with her & ruin it for you both.

YANBU in the slightest!
She doesn't sound like your friend, I'm sorry to say and I'd lose all contact once home, if I were you.
Try to ignore her negativity and enjoy the rest of your holiday as much as you can xx

Sounds more like a frienemy than a friend, I'd drop her if I was you!

@Poolsiders holidays with ‘friends’ is not a bad idea at all…. I’ve been away with friends a few times and had a fabulous time…
however I think spending a week with someone does allow you to see who they REALLY are….. and this person is NOT your friend!
I would be telling her very clearly that she’s upset you by filming you against your wishes…. And not only that but then sharing it to the group chat…. Makes her a bit of a C&£T in all honestly!…. Ask her to delete those messages and images and in future to respect people’s wishes!
Evennif someone was looking at my friend I’d probably throw them an evil back, I certainly wouldn’t tell my friend someone was giving her evils… she just sounds horrible and I think the holiday has done you a huge favour!

She sounds like she’s projecting. She’s clearly unhappy with herself and is incredibly lacking in self awareness. Think of her as a 6 yr old child and reply to her as an adult. Don’t enter into the drama triangle (you’re the victim she’s the persecutor) she can’t play that “game” with no one to engage with.

With friends like her, who needs enemies?

YA definitely NBU. Her behavior towards you makes her 500% ditchable. People like her project their own insecurities onto others, and feel entitled to control them, since they're unable to manage their own lives.
Only you can be in charge of your own narrative, regardless of what she or anyone else thinks.

sorry to hear you hare having such a horrible time.
I finally decided last summer that I would no longer go on holiday with my oldest friend as it was sheer hard work and I found her company 24/7 beyond the pale.
Have started going away to hobby courses, cycling holidays and short city breaks -where there is nobody sniping or talking from dawn to dusk. I’ve met some interesting people and think it’s the way forward for me.
Leave her to her own devices and enjoy the rest of your hol.

I agree with not spending holidays with people if you find more than 24 hours in their company is hard work (although I feel for OP, she likely wasn’t expecting her holiday to turn out like this!). I had a best friend in the past, would happily spend a whole day with her, but went away with her one time to London for a couple of days - it was kind of horrible at a few moments because we both got stressed (mostly because of other people being unhelpful, though).
In my case though, it was my friend who ended up snapping, after a hairy taxi ride where we ended up in the wrong location.

I HNRTFT @Poolsiders but have read your updates... what a nasty 'friend' you are unfortunate to be on holiday with and what a shame for you. I guarantee NO ONE would have been looking at or judging you. Just keep doing what you're doing being civil and doing your own thing, and then when you get home, you can re-evaluate your friendship. AKA ditch the bitch as she certainly isn't your friend. Hope you can salvage / enjoy what's left of your holiday.

This.

Maybe the being extra nice to you is her way of saying sorry without actually saying sorry?

That's in no way an apology for rotten behaviour towards the OP, though. Too little too late.

She sounds like me mum lol

So what happened when you got home???

She sounds like a right bitch!

Your friend is incredibly insecure so is trying to put you down and make you feel small to make herself feel better. She knows she’s a shitty person. I’d tell her to shut her fucking mouth if she has nothing positive to say but you may prefer just removing yourself from her company to enjoy the rest of your holiday in peace. Can’t abide bullies at all. She needs to grow up sharpish.

Urgh, she's jel. She feels shit about herself and she wants to squash and positive thoughts you have about yourself
Shame it hasnt worked.
Tell her to do one
Enjoy your holiday your way

She's projecting her insecurities on you. Don't doubt yourself. Stay calm and polite, distance yourself from her when you get home. Sounds like too much drama! Real friends wouldn't speak to you like that.

Very true about people falling out on holiday! That's why me personally would not share my room with them, so I would have my own space! Your so called friend is taking the piss, is she like this back at home and you haven't noticed?

She's just trying to put you down to make herself feel better about her insecurities

It doesn’t sound like you’re very interested in this friend, her nature, the things she likes to talk about or the way she communicates. Why are you on holiday with her? Maybe, this is a lesson for you.