Take the plunge now or wait until secondary? Tearing my hair out and at loggerheads with DP

[Munneyworries]

Me and DP started saving for DD’s school fees when she was born. She’s due to go to school next September and we should have 100k saved by then. The school we are looking at is 18k a year for prep (including VAT), rising to 24k (including vat) at secondary level (obviously may be more by the time she starts secondary).

DP is adamant that she should start next year and our plan that we use 10k drawn down from savings per year and the rest from income. His argument is that the surplus needed from income equates to the same as the nursery fees per month that we have been paying and things have been fine.

I get where he is coming from but I just don’t feel we have enough buffer yet. I don’t want to put her in and then take her out etc. The local primary school is not good in terms of reputation for teaching etc but it is a nice place and friendly and I don’t think it will cause her harm to go there.

We have been arguing about this constantly since viewing the prep school this last week and DP wanting to basically sign up to it immediately. I feel so stressed and don’t want to make a mistake for dd who realistically won’t know the difference between the two schools regardless of which one she starts at.

@EmeraldSakara thank you. I do understand the impact private primary can have and was very much keen on this as DP was . It’s only since we are now faced with handing over around 18k that I am querying the worth for a five year old!

DP thinks we can afford it with relative ease but I disagree. I think it will be an ongoing sacrifice even with saving 12k a year that doesn’t really give us a big enough buffer so we will always be playing catch up

I would send them to state primary at this age. Although class sizes being smaller in a private are a benefit that seems appealing, only 8 children can be quite a funny number. I’ve taught this age and had a class of 8 children (that grew as the year continues) but in my experience doesn’t always allow for good friendships to develop as it’s such a small number, so if the children don’t click it can be more difficult than a larger class. I would start the state school. See how you feel during ks1 and give yourselves the option of moving at ks2 if you are not happy. If you are happy a move at secondary is usual and when children start new friendships anyway.
I certainly wouldn’t prioritise private education in these younger years over family holidays and memory making experiences. Those things will be much more important to your childs development when they are younger. You can spend money on extracurricular activities to get a more rounded education if needed.

Have you the potential/plan to increase income significantly eg increase your salary etc. if not you really don't have enough. State 'til 8 is a common thing around people I know.

Right OP honestly this comes down to your child and what they need.

I actually regret not doing private prep and just doing secondary private.

Also I do the school fees plan, I pay monthly, it's about 1800 per month paying it like that.

From experience one of the big differences between private and state education is the relationship and dynamic that flows between parents and teachers.

In the state system we all know teachers are overstretched, classes are too big, the schools are underfunded. Even the best teachers don't have the time to speak to parents about issues they may have. Children who are able have to play a part in regulating other more unruly kids behaviors.

In the private system it's completely different. As paying customers parents are much more respected and listened to. You will likely have a clear line of communication with your child's teacher and at our prep can have a face to face within 48 hours if requested. It's a totally different dynamic.

Plus year groups are split into 14 per class, each class has a teacher and a TA. It's a totally different experience as a parent and a child to be honest. I'm of the opinion that if you have the money there's nothing more worthwhile to spend it on that your kids education.

Eh? I can speak same day to my child’s primary teacher. 48 hours sounds a long time to wait.

If you can save £20k a year; you can afford it

For now

If you have a second child, you may struggle