Do you care what your Partner does for a Living?

[Aquarius1234]

Do you or would you care what your partner / boyfriend/ girlfriend does for a living?

I don't and I'm in late 30s. I probably was judgemental in 20s. For no reason, just false assumption, like thinking trades people earnt low money, which isn't true.

Another example, someone might be embarrassed if their boyfriend was a bin man or bus driver.

Once you have the initial conversation s out the way, I don't think it matters at all.
It's not like your going to work with them.
(If you are that's another conversation)

Other than drug dealing or working in an abattoir, as long as he has enough to cover his share of the bills is all I ask. DP is an epileptic so the fact that he has a job at all is a win as far as I'm concerned.

I think the question for those women saying they find non-achieving men unattractive is, is there a difference between a high status job and a high earning job?

A bin man manager might make 50k, just as an average doctor might make 50k (I'm guessing salaries here).

And conversely, say there was a man who 'got lucky', talked the talk, and ended up as a Harrod's sales assistant making 50k (for the sake of argument). His is still 'low status' and unambitious, but a high earner. Same unattractiveness?

I've been si gle for 15 years. Brought up 3 children alone. I would romantically rather be with someone doing whatever it is they feel happiest doing but the reality of life on a very average wage alone makes higher earners a more attractive option. I have worked hard to be independent. I don't want an additional person who's needs I have to take care of from a financial perspective.

I definitely care. They spend most of their life doing it and it's a huge part of who they are! It reflects on them and ( because I chose to marry him me by extension) so I do.

Yes I do. I want my partner to be in a job he is good at, that is within his comfort zone and that he can perform well without causing him anxiety, stress or undue pressure. I want him to enjoy his work day, to know he's produced something useful he is proud of, and for the process to benefit his wellbeing and self esteem. I want the job to offer a good work life balance and not to take too great a toll of his physical or mental health so he suffers in old age. I couldn't care less whether people think his job has status or how well paid he is. These things are insignificant when compared to the benefits to us both of a job that ticks the other boxes. I am very fortunate to have pretty much always been in relationships with men with jobs like this.

To clarify - I am less bothered by the £ brought in and more by whether the job is useful to society.

Doesn't bother me as long as they're happy....
Which is just as well because my DH had to give up work- a job that he absolutely loved - several years ago due to health reasons. I'm now chief breadwinner, he just has benefits coming in which are less than a third of his wages. He hates it but it's life now!
Just remember....you don't know what's round the corner. Would you still want to be with your husband if he could no longer work?

And obviously that they enjoy it and it is positive for them.

As long as he is a) happy and b) doing no harm in his job (ie not selling drugs etc!!) I couldn't give a shiny shit

Yes, of course.

Yes, what someone does for a living is definitely important to me - in a partner but to a lesser extent in friends as well.

It's a question of values. I couldn't be with a Tory MP, an arms dealer, anyone who worked for big oil companies, a right-wing media grifter, anyone in the police or military, a lobbyist for cigarette companies etc etc.

It's not a question of salary or "status". One of the wealthiest people I've met was a lawyer who specialised in finding tax loopholes for the uber-rich. The idea of that being someone's contribution to society makes me feel nauseous. If you'd really rather date a man like that than, for example, a talented artist with great ethics but not much money (thinking of an old ex here)... I'd also judge you, frankly.

And I certainly understand wanting financial security and the idea that money can buy freedom and some happiness - it's up to me, and me alone, to provide that for myself. Otherwise it doesn't really feel like security or freedom. I can't fathom being dependent on anyone else for it. It would make me feel like a child, financially dependent on my parents.

I'd care if they were a drug dealer or something else unsavoury as a 'profession,' but any legitimate job? Of course not.

Yes but not in the way you probably think. I would be really put off by someone who worked in an office.

I like tradesmen, gardeners that sort of thing. Someone not afraid to get their hands dirty.

I'd quite like a bin man tbh. I'd probably prefer a barber/hairdresser to someone in an office 🤷‍♀️

Dh is a tradesman/engineer.

I have my own money so it wouldn’t matter to me what a partner does for a living.

Interesting.

I feel that some jobs are high status but non jobs in reality.

Probably what puts me off.

No, after my recently ex partner spent almost 3 years laying in bed doing absolutely nothing, leaving me to provide for our family. I'd just be happy if any future partners have a good work ethic, What they did for work would not bother me.

Total snap

My first husband and I met at medical school and so bonded over that experience and then working as junior doctors. After we split I decided I wanted someone who wasn't involved in the medical world so I dated a gardner, engineer and an actor....and discovered that an important part of a relationship for me was having someone who understood my world.
I'm now with a senior manager in the health service and he gets it. He's solvent (also important to me because I'm not bankrolling anyone), intelligent (vital because conversation is important and I'm not interested in the beer and football type of man's conversation) and works in the nhs so knows the pressures and how it works.

So yes, profession is important as is financial security and intelligence.

Haven't RTFT.

I used to care then I had a relationship with someone in a similar profession to me who was perfect for me 'on paper' which ended up being a disaster.

That's when I realised the good on paper types just don't turn me on.

I need more excitement than a man in finance, I'm afraid.

I definitely care. Wouldn't want an all hours in the office cutthroat type, or anyone with a bullshit job of no social value. Definitely wanted someone whose work involved a bit of intellectual or cultural stmulation.

£50k is not really high earning though, is it?

If you want someone to buy a house with, raise children comfortably, and be able to afford a nice lifestyle, they're going to need to be bringing in a lot more than £50k unless the woman is earning £100k+.

Life is very expensive.

The last thing I would want is a man who thought he was bringing home the bacon and could therefore throw his weight around and be the boss at home.

Omg- same. I like being the higher earner 😎I spend more anyway(clothes, products, socialising)so as long as DP has enough to come on holidays and stuff I’m golden.

For me DH doing a job he loves and which is flexible is what matters. I don't want to live with someone who is miserable because he hates his work, or to be stressed because neither of us have any flexibility. DH earning a lot of money has never been important as my work is well paid albeit with longish hours and low flexibility.

Ha Ha.

Very funny.

Outside of MN, it is, presuming you are talking about people in their 20s and early 30s rather than people at the top end of their career.