Do you care what your Partner does for a Living?

[Aquarius1234]

Do you or would you care what your partner / boyfriend/ girlfriend does for a living?

I don't and I'm in late 30s. I probably was judgemental in 20s. For no reason, just false assumption, like thinking trades people earnt low money, which isn't true.

Another example, someone might be embarrassed if their boyfriend was a bin man or bus driver.

Once you have the initial conversation s out the way, I don't think it matters at all.
It's not like your going to work with them.
(If you are that's another conversation)

I couldn’t care less what dh does for a living, as long as he earns money and works hard.

Dh has worked in the same place since he was 16.

I like someone to have ambition, a desire to earn well (not talking millions here but enough for a comfortable life) and a strong work ethic. I don't care what they do but they do but need to be somewhat ambitious with it.

I often wonder if the people who say they care have actually achieved what they wanted in life too.

For me it's work ethic and stability. It would be great if they earn around the same or work as a similar level of responsibility but more importantly they are kind.

Yes, I have. We got together very young, both from very poor backgrounds, the first in either of our families to stay in education past 15, so we supported one another.

Yes it matters to me.

Yes it can come across a bit preachy with long list of wants.
Great job, but not long hours, not obsessed by work but great money, lots of holiday, no stress.
Hmm ok lol.

DP lost his job at the start of covid and then did anything and everything to get money and some of those were shit jobs.

I have no problem with anything he wanted to do

But if I was dating I would rule certain jobs out, based on my perception of the personality you would have if you did those type of jobs.

Any examples? On the ones you would rule out.
It's bad but I'm not keen on dating a Carer.

@Aquarius1234
you can date whoever you like, if they don’t do it for you for any reason, don’t date them. Attraction is a funny thing, you cant choose it.
Say what you like about bin men, one of our bin men jumps over hedges to get the bins done quicker, and I do look at him with appreciation.

Sales, estate agents and bankers would be at the top of the no go list.

I am sure there are lovely ones out there, Sales and estate agents are based on personal experience and bankers are based on rumours/news reports so very baseless.

I would probably say politicians as well, but I would like an expense account and at times I can be shallow

My sister has a lovely partner but he has a job that means he does not earn much and there is no career progression.
Now they have a toddler she has to work full time in a managerial position whilst he works 3 x 12 hr shifts a week. He also can't cope as well with their toddler as she can so she feels she has to be in charge of the house eg organising repairs etc, the toddler and has the pressure of working full time when in an ideal world they would both be able to only work 3 days because she feels like she is missing out a lot with time with their toddler. She has said that she is starting to feel resentful.

Well sure. I wouldn’t date an actor. Or a life coach (good call upthread person) an estate agent, a pyramid seller, a professional footballer, a police officer, a gynaecologist or a hairdresser.
Im not too bothered what they earn though, as long as they’re not in tons of debt. I’ve always earned my own money so I’m never going to be dependent on their earnings.

Yes, it would matter to me. In terms of finding a suitable life partner, I'd want someone with a good work ethic and with earning potential.

It's the natural instinct of hunter gatherer, a man that can provide, while I raise the children, type thing. A man working part or even full-time in a minimum wage job, isn't going to be able to provide for our family.

I'm attracted to men with a good career, doesn't have to be a high-flyer, not at all, but a decent job nonetheless.

I wouldn't be attracted to a man earning min wage (for life).

My husband and I both earned in the same bracket when we met, then I earned more than him just before I stopped working to have our first child. He now earns 4 times what he earned when we first met. He provides for our family whilst I look after and educate our children. I do have some income which goes mainly towards our retirement. All that said, once our mortgage is paid off, if my husband lost his job and ended up in a min wage job, I'd be fine with that as without the mortgage, as long as we lived frugally, we could survive on that.

I also wouldn't like it if my partner did a job that I didn't consider moral.
Tobacco, gambling and sex industry come to mind as obvious ones but there are probably others like dubious loan companies.

It's not about where you work for me, but it's about your attitude to work and your ambition. I'm a pretty ambitious person and so a man who isn't ambitious would probably bore me. Also you need to be able to pay your way to a certain extent. I've been with a man who worked in retail - that wasn't the issue - the issue was he wanted to "climb up" but didn't put any effort in and then blamed me. Because I was climbing up my career ladder faster he became jealous. So based on that experience - attitude to work means alot.

I'd struggle to accept him working a job where he was exploiting people, selling scam products or similar. I'd also struggle to date someone in the police. Outside of that I'd be fine with anything, working or not. I don't really care how much they earn as long as the basics are covered.

I like DH's job as it is interesting and it was important for me to find someone creative but now he is very senior he works so many hours and that is the down side..

This
If it pays the bills and he's happy, that's what's important.

I don’t care at all, but I do need them to have work ethic, and an honest job. I don’t think I could be involved with someone who refuses to work.
i need 50/50 relationship, where we both contribute.

Yes, definitely. My work is core to who I am as a person and I find ambition attractive. I work in a ‘do-gooding’ field and my career aligns with my world view, values and politics.

I don’t think I’d be attracted to someone who just did any old job to get paid, unless they had some other big project or passion alongside.

It’s not necessarily about money, though being very unevenly matched in salary has caused major issues in my relationships in the past, as long as they have goals and they’re a striver.

Similarly, I couldn’t be involved with someone who worked in an industry that fundamentally disagrees with my values, even if they made pots of money at it. Oil and gas extraction, anything where people in developing nations are unfairly paid or exploited, for certain financial institutions or commercial corporations, bailiffs, outbound sales etc.

I don't care what the job is as long as there is a job and work ethic.

We met when we were young before establishing our careers, but he was intelligent and driven which I liked. If he'd have said he wanted to be a bin man then that wouldn't have been attractive to me as he'd have been a very different person. He wanted a good career that paid highly so life could be good without stressing about money.

Yes I have only dated someone who earns six figures - it’s not deliberate but is the way

i couldn’t date someone who earns less

and before anyone says it - I earned more

I'm not ambitious AT ALL and I'd probably avoid an ambitious guy as we'd be so different-and I assume they've all been snapped up years ago by all the women it does matter to😆. The only thing I I wouldn't want is someone who does an overly dirty job (my issue I realise) because I have OCD. Wouldn't be keen on police, funeral director, doctor either but if it was the right person I suppose it wouldn't matter. Someone who works in an abattoir is defo out.

Retail would be absolutely fine, I've worked in that job myself and I don't care if it's minimum wage shop worker, no judgement from me on that at all. Genuinely prefer that to high-flyer.

I quite fancy that. Do you think he'd mind casting an eye over my CV?