Do you care what your Partner does for a Living?

[Aquarius1234]

Do you or would you care what your partner / boyfriend/ girlfriend does for a living?

I don't and I'm in late 30s. I probably was judgemental in 20s. For no reason, just false assumption, like thinking trades people earnt low money, which isn't true.

Another example, someone might be embarrassed if their boyfriend was a bin man or bus driver.

Once you have the initial conversation s out the way, I don't think it matters at all.
It's not like your going to work with them.
(If you are that's another conversation)

Same for me. I am attracted to intelligence and ambition (among other things like kindness etc) and 'generally speaking' you're more like to get this with certain professions than others.

Sounds good and he probably has flexible hours.

I think things like life coach, door-to-door knife salesman, facebook juice seller, videogame streamer, self published author etc. are bad when the partner is convinced they've got a legitimate career. They can't actually pay the bills with it, but are convinced if they really go for it they can make it...

I’ve got to be honest, it’s more about what he earns than what he does. I supported a cocklodger for a good while and I definitely put solvent and stable near the top of the list of qualities I was looking for when I was looking for someone new.

I wouldn’t want him to hate what he does for a good wage though, that’s miserable.

The job isn't important but a certain level of passion and motivation for it is. I find people who carry on in a job they hate, moaning about it and making no effort to improve their situation really draining and unattractive.

I don't care at all, though I do care how they feel. I was with someone for a long time who had an objectively "good" job but hated it. It drove me absolutely mad because I was the one, day in day out, who dealt with the grump about a job they hated. We spend so so long at work that unhappiness there impacts at home. They were entirely unwilling to do a single thing to change this because of their own feelings towards having a "good" job. Which just led to further unhappiness.

So while I'd never think a single thing about what someone did, I do believe I base "judgement" around how they deal with hating what they do.

Someone in an outwardly amazing job, who hates it and says "I'm going to go be something else" is, in my opinion brilliant. No matter what "something else" may be.

It's more this than the odd snobbery of the first comment.

I wouldn't have wanted to start a family with someone who's job or career took precedence over me and out potential children. If you choose to have children then being an equal partner isn't only about who earns what but about voth being around for the children. For that reason I wouldn't have chosen anyone who had to travel constantly (or rather who chose to stay in a role requiring that - most people can change job unless they've signed up to a decades long military contract).

I'd rather a genuine co-parent who is man enough to plan his work around doing 50% of child related responsibility than someone misogynistic enough to expect me to sacrifice my career or with an ego so big and fragile he "couldn't" do a family friendly job.

Also not really up for arms dealers, the pp's international hitman 😉, drug dealers, anyone in the sex industry... Not really keen on anyone who makes money by making rich people richer and poor people poorer if I'm honest either.

So yes, but apparently not in the way the opening post assumes.

People wake up happy?
Blimey.

Are you a SAHM? It must be hard to manage childcare otherwise though if there’s lots of sudden trips abroad.

This.

I could never date someone who worked in HR.

🤣🤣🤣

There are some jobs I would consider unattractive - armed forces or anything I think of as unethical. Other than that I don’t care as long as he’s happy.

Not really, I do like competent men, who are really good at what they do.

work ethic and commitment to it are what I like.

@Aquarius1234 it depends what time the toddler wakes us up, but assuming we get over that hurdle, yeah 🤣

I'm less happy the mornings he (DH, not toddler) gets up at stupid o'clock to get to the gym!!

Scientists?

Oooooo do tell..

I find men attractive who are ambitious, have a job they can talk about and share, enjoys what they do

Yes I care. I think it's strange not to, to be honest.

It's a part of who they are, their personality and the choices they have made in life.

It has to work well with me, my personality and the choices I have made and what I find attractive in a partner.

And if I'm going to be listening to them talk about it over dinner for the rest of my life then of course it matters!

That doesn't mean it has to be a high flying career, or that it's about money, but there are certain jobs where I simply couldn't see myself dating someone who does that for a living, because I can't see our personalities meshing well together.

For example a professional sportsperson or someone in the army would probably be a terrible match for me.

No. I find grafting attractive but not in the monetary sense. More like work ethics and wanting to be good at whatever they do/care about doing a good job.

Personality is number 1 for me.
You can have a boring job that is not fun at all. Stressful at times.
But it's what you are like outside work/ home/ interests.
I work in administration and millions of others do as well. We aren't all boring. Just have a boring job.
We can't all work in entertainment or whatever.

No, if anything for me it’s more about their attitude to work/ambition etc.

When I first met my partner a couple of years ago he had a £45k job and he hated it. He had no motivation towards work and put bare minimum in. He complained about his job a lot and would sometimes need to be reminded by his boss of the expectations, because he would sometimes shirk. His management were awful and he found it hard to want to please.

Now he does something completely different, an admin job where he’s on £29k. And he absolutely adores it. He loves his colleagues, his management are great and supportive. He looks forward to working and loves to share stories from his working day. He has spoken to his manager about progression in his role/the company and he just loves his job and feels really passionate about it.

And this is way more attractive to me! I’d much rather he had a simpler job, earning far less than he used to, but was happy in the job and had ambition for it/a passion for it.

I care but on the basis of morality rather than snobby-ness if that's such a word, so as someone else has said above nothing illegal or such as weapons selling. I also care in terms of dedication and commitment, I would find it hard to be with someone I found workshy for example and I would also want someone to prioritise family over work which I think would limit some things.

Trades involve a skill, being a bin man doesn't.

Tbh yes. It's not really the money aspect. I wanted (and have) a husband who is of a similar intellectual level to me and who has an interesting, professional-type job. Not anything flashy, high-flying or especially well-paid.