dh refusing to give me admin access to router in my house

[adminaccess]

DH is refusing to give me admin access to the router in our house because he doesn't think i'm responsible enough. We've both had long careers in tech! I'm currently studying for a security certification.
I'm in shock he thinks he can justify withholding access to a service I pay for at least as much as he does.
He is being unreasonable, right?

OP can access the internet, that's the WiFi password.
Her husband won't give her the admin password for the router, if she has that she can logon and see all traffic passing through it and connected devices etc

Change the locks while he is out. Tell him that trust is mutual. He doesn't trust you with the password so you no longer trust him. What a controlling prick!

Just playing devil's advocate here but you mentioned you are in tech and currently studying security, not saying it's right, but do you think he maybe thinks you will do some practice tinkering on your router and break it?

why should he be offered a solution he would accept?

Yeah he's hiding something (as well as being a controlling dick). There are routers that can show sites that have been accessed through them. Yes he could use a VPN etc but why would he bother if he wasn't going to give you access to it? Whatever's going on, he's definitely hiding something...

The only thing on it would really be connected devices, in which case if he’s that adamant about this, then is it likely he has a device connected that you don’t know about? Very bizarre behaviour otherwise!

It is weird.

I have WiFi password and ds (20 but software developer) has the router admin access.

Purely because he's better at those things and if I had any interest in accessing it I'd ask for password!

So I'd go with those saying he's hiding something.

What is a Wi-Fi router log, and what does it keep?
• Your IP address.
• Connected devices. Lists all devices connected to your network, including their MAC addresses.
• Visited websites. URLs of websites accessed through your network.
• Login attempts. ...
• System events.

We recently had a new router. The old one, which we had had for years, had tens and tens of devices connected, old and current phones / tablets / gaming devices, laptops, work devices, TV's, every Tom, Dick and Harry who had ever visited.

Even the new one will be heading towards 40.

Is it really possible to pick out the one new device that isn't then just explained away by "a new work phone"?

I agree with you. I had misread the OP and suggested a solution to a different problem!

If you work in tech OP then surely you know you can reset the box and then login with the default login which is usually something along the line of "admin" and "sky" or whatnot. It's usually on Google or you can get the name and password from the provider.

I was immediately suspicious 👀

I remember my housemate at uni was able to see what websites I had been on because he had admin access to the router.

I strongly suspect he's worried you'd be able to do the same.

Are you sure the wifi you're connecting your phone/laptop etc to is actually that router, and not for example a raspberry pi in the loft?

I’ve read on here that you can access what sites someone has visited.

Is he accessing dodgy sites and doesn’t want you to know?

Who’s name is the broadband in, I’d contact your ISP.

I would say he is either
(A) ticked off at you and just extracting some temporary childish revenge, which he knows is impractical but he just wants to peeve you.......
(B) or he is monitoring what devices are registering on the hub or maybe he has devices he doesn't want you to know about.

I'd just reset it and not tell him the admin password just to p*ss him off - if he knows you are IT savvy, he had to know his refusal could be easily overridden by you. Its a very condescending attitude and reflects badly on the man who is supposed to be your soul mate.

However if its option B....not sure where you go with that.......

You cannot get site logs on say regular BT routers.

You can resolve your dns via a third party via the router and this will somewhat show sites in a jumbled form but again, anyone in tech knows about vpn and all you then see is the initial vpn access.

My guess is a second phone or dh is monitoring everyone else via dns, raspberry pi or other.

The OP needs to come back and say if it is a third party router. Makes all the difference.

Honestly, I'd be resetting the router and setting my own password - and I would do that as many times as it takes for him to give up doing the same back.

However, it'll clear the logs (if there are any) so you'll never get to see what he was hiding. And I think he IS hiding something.

Get the sky package where you can turn his wifi off to his devices. No good having the codes if you can control his access.

What even is admin access??

My internet is set up to restrict access to adult sites. If you go into admin you can change it. I wonder if he’s changed the restriction settings to watch porn?

My internet is set up to restrict access to adult sites. If you go into admin you can change it. I wonder if he’s changed the restriction settings to watch porn?

2 codes on sticker on router, 1 is Wi-Fi code other is admin password, you login via a computer or phone, just Google how to do it.

Both can be changed by the admin person.

Cut to everyone logging in to see if their admin pw is changed!

Thanks all.Yes I wanted to know what he's hiding too.

Fun fact: when I said not giving me access was patronising he said I was using the word patronising inappropriately and I should look up its meaning before using the word again

Anyway, after a lot of persistence i now have access.

Now it's time to dig. Man has shit to hide.