dh refusing to give me admin access to router in my house

[adminaccess]

DH is refusing to give me admin access to the router in our house because he doesn't think i'm responsible enough. We've both had long careers in tech! I'm currently studying for a security certification.
I'm in shock he thinks he can justify withholding access to a service I pay for at least as much as he does.
He is being unreasonable, right?

I’d say to him “either give me the password or I factory reset it back to it’s default”.

Pull the wire out and shut down your vagina.

Bloody men...

You'd need a password to reset it.

What's he hiding?

Or worse.

OP if you work in tech make a light hearted comment that you'll be handing his devices to the police unless he hands over the details. On a serious note can you have a conversation with him about how this makes you feel?

The other phone.

Yep he needs to do some proper grovelling.

The passwords are normally on the router or on a card that comes with it. (I normally photograph the card.)

If not the OP can simply buy a new router to plug in it it's place then hide old router and the factory password.

The passwords are normally on the router or on a card that comes with it. (I normally photograph the card.)

If not the OP can simply buy a new router to plug in it it's place then hide old router and the factory password.

Firstly, why do you need the admin password? is it because as you have said you are very knowledgeable in the IT area and if you had the password, then you could have a look at traffic? and is this why you want the password?

i would imagine a normal everyday household has no requirement for this password? sounds controlling on both parts to be honest.

i will admit that i did use our password once, and change the wi-fi name to 'television detector van' cos it was hillarious!

Stop paying for it then and order a separate one for yourself.

I'd be unplugging the thing and hiding it.

I don't have it because I wouldn't have a clue what to do with it but if I asked I'd get it without question.

You're not his child

That's usually the password to get on to the WiFi, not the router itself ( in my experience anyway)

He’s hiding something, that’s for certain.

Three options:

1. he's a large scale coercive controller and OP has only mentioned one specific element of this so far.
2. he's trying to hide something that could be revealed by poking around the Internet / router settings
3. OP is herself some kind of cyber criminal and has left out that back story

I'd play him at his own game. There's usually a little hole you can stick a paperclip in to reset the router. That should set it back to the default password, which is generally printed on the router somewhere.

Set the WiFi name and password back to what it was before and all the devices should still connect, and then I'd go the extra mile and block his phones MAC address just to be childish.

He can always do the same back to you, but it should show him you mean business.

No you don’t.

There's usually both. The default router password, and the default WiFi one.

At least that's been the case on both the Virgin and BT ones I've had in the last decade

No you wouldn't - at least no router I've ever used or had to support over many years in IT.

I suspect the OP knows this already though.

There isn't anything to hide. There'll be no logs to look at who has been browsing what.

If you want to see if there are any dodgy devices connected to the router, you don't need admin access to see that.

Of course YANBU. Does he control you in other ways?

I am being very serious when I say I would divorce a man that treated me like this.

Who does he think he is?

That’s very odd! I can’t think of any reason that he’d need to do that!

😂😂