dh refusing to give me admin access to router in my house

[adminaccess]

DH is refusing to give me admin access to the router in our house because he doesn't think i'm responsible enough. We've both had long careers in tech! I'm currently studying for a security certification.
I'm in shock he thinks he can justify withholding access to a service I pay for at least as much as he does.
He is being unreasonable, right?

The controlling and patronising attitude behind this would be a dealbreaker for me.

This is utterly bizarre!

He's definitely hiding something. Presumably devices he doesn't want you to know about.

He is treating you like a child. Either he has a massively low opinion of you. Or he is hiding something (second phone connection details?). Either way, not good at all

Are you 'allowed' to do things that could actually go wrong if you were genuinely irresponsible? Handle knives? Drive?

Then why not use a data sim and hotspot to the devices?

Far less likely to arouse suspicion.

Worried you'll see his second phone on there?

Just factory reset it every other day. Lose a cable or the power supply in between, just when he's disappeared off into another room. Won't stop him using mobile data, but it should annoy him enough on a daily basis to get your point across.

@TomatoSandwiches
Yes, I would divorce him too.
Don't understand what's so hilarious about that.

Every time I feel a bit sad that I am on my own I pop on this site and read about yet another nasty mean spirited man and give thanks for my peaceful life

yeah that's nothing a quick factory reset can't fix. Then you log in as admin and change the password. Is it a standard router or a more advance one that could store website data? He could be spying by proxy

He's worried you will find out what he is wanking over!

Really bizarre and unacceptable behaviour.

I would wonder:

• what he is hiding
• whether this is the start of toxic controlling behaviour that will continue to escalate.

Either way, not good.

Weird as fuck. Is he having some sort of breakdown?

mine has the admin password too.

I'd buy a pint of milk and put it in a fridge with a post it note on, flatshare stylee, saying he isn't to have any.

I need to know what he's hiding. What a cock.

I don't think he's hiding anything.

I think he doesn't want you to have internet access. If you have to use data you're likely to be on your phone less which means messaging other men less.

He thinks he's making it harder for you to cheat.

Is it a router or one of the more modern mesh network router devices? If it is a mesh system the fancier ones can allow for passwords, user access controls, logs of websites etc. People can/do use them to allow chidren wifi between set hours, block websites and so on. You can also create dual networks, which would mean that you cannot see the websites being accessed on the one you are not on without the admin password. These devices are actually really smart when used correctly.

Personally, i'd unplug it, or cancel the subscription and buy my own if he is being a controlling idiot.

Is he always such a controlling ass?

Buy a new one. He’s clearly not responsible enough to be left alone with this one.

He is hiding something

What's he hiding ?

What could he hiding 🤔

Cocktail stick and factory reset. The name and default password are normally on the base.

Set it up with your pw ad then remove the labels.

Not responsible enough for what?