I'd like to be a SAHD...

[sussexcoast98]

Completely hypothetical situation but I'd like some female opinion on this if I could please?

So I am male, 26, single, but would one day love to change this and have a wife and children of my own.

When that time comes, I would really love the idea of staying home with the children and being a full-time Dad!

Now, obviously none of you know me, but I am not one of those 'alpha-male', aggressive, insecure men who believes that women are second class citizens and that 'gender roles' come from reality, instead of ignorant and nasty social conditioning stemming from a time when women were treated as virtually inhuman and worthy of no rights at all. I believe that there is no such thing as a male/female divide, and there is instead an ADULT/CHILD divide.

I believe that either adult can carry out either of the adult roles, as they see fit, it has nothing to do with gender, as if only women/men were able to do these things, then it would be physically impossible for the other to do, but that obviously is not the case!

What I mean is: as a man, I cannot lactate. I cannot menstruate. That is an example of something that only women can do. It is physically impossible for men to do them.

It is NOT physically impossible for a man to stay at home and care for and bring up/look after their baby while their wife is at work. Social conditioning has brainwashed society into believing that it is WRONG if men are to do this, as society wants the role carried out by women, regardless of the man's ability.

Many use shaming tactics to try and push this agenda further, such as stating that it is 'emasculating' for a man to want to care for children, but there are men that do exist in society that are not insecure enough to be taken in by this - I am one of those people.

Obviously I know that it is something that would have to be agreed with both parties and she realistically would have to be earning more for it to work and be viable (otherwise we could both go part time to both have time with the kids and financially contribute, should she also want time at home with them as well)

I just really love the idea of doing the personal care of looking after and bringing up/caring for my child/ren in their early years and in addition to that, love the idea of pampering my lady when she has had a hard day, such as by cooking her a nice meal, and spending some nice time together in the evenings - hopefully with some cuddles and sex too! :)

Looking after our home and keeping it clean and tidy, is just simple common sense and something that needs to be done to stay hygienic - it is not a 'feminine' activity at all! All men have to do it to keep clean when they live alone, but once they live with a partner, it is suddenly a 'female' chore? So they were women before they moved in with their DW were they? Do me a favour.

If my lady is at work providing for our family financially then I owe it to her as her husband to keep my side of the deal and ensure that all household and childcare tasks are completed for her when she gets home. The exception to this would be if she proactively wants time alone with the kids to bond when she gets in, for example.

I really like the idea of cooking her a nice 3-course meal during the day and for her to come home to a nice candle-lit romantic dinner served up by her loving hubby! :) Who knows, perhaps it could lead to cuddles, snogging and sex to wind the day down!

I know these days are a long way off but I do have this dream in my head that I could be the modern day 'Rosa Parks' that changes forever society's perception of men and women, just as Rosa did with blacks and whites.

I suppose I have always been a very gentle, softly-spoken man that is described by everyone I know as very kind and loving and thoughtful, and I just have always found the idea of being a full-time dad as a sort of 'calling' - I feel it fits very well with my personality traits.

Hopefully I can one day find a lady to write a story with and we can be each other's happily ever after, but I guess I have to wait for now.

It goes without saying that the very large majority of men currently do not share my values, being very hands-off and sexist to their wives, you only need to spend 10 minutes on here on a daily basis to see that! But I hope this post can show some of the ladies on here that gentle, loving very family-orientated men do exist :)

Have a nice afternoon everyone x

I believe women faint in his presence. With his looks and his unique ability to stun people into silence when he interacts with children and the perfect pink of his shirt..

OP's comments - especially since a basement was mentioned - are giving me Norman Bates vibes.

Look no one is saying that low earning men or men with very average salaries will be single forever....of course not. But chances are they will get together with a woman who is on a similar level to him.

Lots of couples where there is a big disparity in earnings will have met when they were much younger and then one of them had their career take off

Very well put. It must be a miserable life, loathing yourself that much. So much energy spent on spite. What a fucking pathetic existence that is when there's a whole world out there, and only one chance to live in it.

But as many, many people have pointed out, OP, women still look for earning ability in a partner. It will be very hard for you to get a date with these women in the first place and many would run for the hills when you lay out your plans for the future. Again, most men would as well. Times have changes and what men look for in a partner has changed enormously from the 1950s. Back then, a trophy wife was simply beautiful. Now, a trophy wife is accomplished and successful in her own field. For women, it hasn't changed at all.

I question your enthusiasm for work OP, when you are busy on mumsnet in the middle of the working week.
Or are the female assistants all busy doing your job to give you a break?

But I see so many posts on here about how a woman earns 3x more than her husband and always has? They clearly do exist and have no issue with it?

What IS it with creepy men and basements?

Are you going to continue to pretend you didn't have a name change fail? Because, yet again, I'm going to point out that you're trolling your own thread. Therefore, it is quite obvious that this whole thing is fake.

Like we have said, chances are they will have been together for a long time...often meeting at uni or in their early twenties when they were both at a similar level. I do know many couples where the woman is a higher earner and that is generally the case.

No but I am saying, from what I have read, they met when she was already earrning 3x his salary

Yes, they do exist but they are incredibly rare, probably didn't start out that way and certainly didn't agree to support the other at some point in the future while still dating! Most SAHP have become so by circumstance, not by design. There are only so many ways to tell you this. Life is now incredibly expensive, and men like you are too expensive for most women to afford when they are looking to become mothers! You are not as attractive a proposition as you think you are. Also, what do you mean by vet assistant? Do you mean you are an ACA?

Family member knows an uber wealthy female.
{ Many Millions}

She has a partner and DC's but no way is married to their dad. {Not sure if he works or not}

She's financially astute, not going to give him half her assets if they should divorce.

WHERE have you read about these couples, btw?

I also know couples where the women earns more than the man but these women didn't start the relationship with the idea of seeking a man who would run their home and not work. That's just how it turned out for whatever reason.

You keep wanging on about high earners and that women will go for men who they outearn.

Of course they will. But for a woman to outearn a partner, the man needs to earning, not coasting along on minimum wage, tiding themselves over till a high earner comes along. My 16 year old probably outearns you at this point.

Wish we could react to posts, love your response!

Whoops! 😆

Yep this! ^

You know you can ask MNHQ to take the thread down but then you like what's going on don't you?
Your ego knows no bounds and your inability to grasp that your life may not turn out as you would like is quite worrying.
I really can't imagine any woman being on the same wavelength as you, ever.

Are you Kevin from Motherland, op? I can't shift that image from my mind.

This. ^ The whoops moment has made the OP want the thread gone!

His incel energy was so strong, I could almost feel it through the screen! 😁

Poor OP, he'll have to go back to throwing his coat over puddles to lure some unsuspecting "lady" instead. Snapping up a rich wife on MN didn't go quite as planned.

Maybe you should find another dream then, how about a wealthy geriatric lady with grandchildren you can take care of?

Very likely. This person, whatever their motivation for posting, is not on the level.