Rudeness of people increasing

[Honest1980]

Just that really - not sure whether it's just me or whether other people are experiencing this. Few examples.

Daughter getting braces. One of the admin there messed something up but since being really off with me. I had to send a email and she replied quite curtly. I will complain if happens again but why be so rude?

Ordered full length mirror off amazon, arrived smashed. Had to return it at evri parcelshop. As soon as I walked in with it shop keeper was rude to me firing loads of questions saying wouldn't be accepted because of size etc. Clearly didn't want to accept it. I had trouble scanning qr code, shop keeper shouting at me that I'm not holding phone properly. Really rude. He kept telling me how to hold phone to get qr on screen and I kept telling him qr code on screen between lines cannot understand why not scanning. I knew it was because he didn't want to accept parcel so that made me more stubborn to not take it elsewhere. I was really calm and polite. I asked him to please help me and he actually said "No I'm not going to help you". A few minutes later I said please help otherwise I'll be here all day. He was so rude "OK I'll do it but I'm not touching your phone if I drop and break it you'll sue me you're all the same". He took a picture and scanned it. Then went on about packaging that it better not fall apart etc. It was packaged well.

When I went out of shop I realised that I should have adjusted brightness on phone. I have returned lots of parcels fine. I go to that shop a lot but won't anymore. It's owners son I think, I've never seen him before.

Couple of people at work so rude. Work in large office. Some are in their 50s but act like school kids whispering, purposely blocking corridors when they know you want to get past, one was aghast that I took her lunch put of microwave when she had left it so I could use microwave.

People in shopping centres not moving put of way. Had instance of standing outside shop with my daughter while I looked for something in my bag, plenty of room behind me. Mum and dad with you son all holding hands walked right up to me and just stood there expecting me and my daughter to jump put of way despite being lots of room to.walk.round us. Then says really loudly "excuse you!". I just looked at him and said "walk around". He said something sarcastic when they did walk around.

Eating out. We generally have a good experience but some are so rude and unhelpful.

I know all the above sounds petty and everyone experiences same - and I can deal with it, might be annoyed for a bit but I move on. But it seems to happen a lot and I just wonder if people are becoming more rude and entitled.

Also, do you think that sometimes your appearance affects how you are treated? I've put on some weight (although am losing it now) and before I used to make effort with hair and make up. I've found when I've been my heaviest and not making effort with appearance people have been ruder to me than when I was slimmer and made effort.

Essay over!

I think a lot of what you describe is more likely the person being stressed? Guy not knowing how to deal with returns/ afraid he’ll get into trouble/ worried they’ve lost a sale so reacts badly. lady panicking that she made a mistake with braces? I don’t know to be honest, yes there’s more rudeness, I try to be extra nice to people and assume they’re having a bad one and then I can help turn their day about!

I was waiting to get on a bus once and there was quite a crowd of people waiting to get on. When the bus came, everyone rushed forward and were jostling each other except one man who stood slightly to the side, then got on the bus.

Yes, people can be rude unfortunately but I always try to be polite. If necessary I'm assertive and ask them not to speak to me like that. If the situation is really bad, then I'll complain.

I've noticed that if I'm polite, smile and treat people with respect, they change their behaviour. It doesn't work with everyone but it has an effect.

Yes I do think that appearance matters. Some people will treat you respectfully irrespective of what you look like and others will change their attitude depending on your appearance.

I understand what you are saying but that's not an excuse to be so rude (and shout at someone). He wouldn't lose a sale its going to amazon via evri. He just needed to put it somewhere while evri collect it.

The admin at the dentist- surely rather than being rude to me an apology or acknowledgement of what she had done would be better and more professional.

Everyone gets stressed I don't think that's an excuse for rudeness.

I think when you’re properly stressed you’re less likely to be rational and polite though, just human nature!!

I don’t understand your description of standing outside the shop and the people having to walk around you- was there nowhere you could have stood that wasn’t in the way?

Yes I'm always polite as well. Could have got into argument with shop keeper (he was aggressive) but kept my cool as I just wanted rid of mirror and my refund.

I used to work in Leeds and get train and I've seen it all - physical fighting, lady whacking another lady around head with her bag cos she wouldn't move shopping off seat!!! When I was heavily pregnant I was never offered a seat (wasn't too bothered or expecting it, I was fine stood up), but had few people barge into me and push me when trying to get past, mainly men.

I'm always polite and friendly but it obviously does not have an effect on other people. I do speak up at times but depending on the person - I'd hate to get into a disagreement in public, it's embarrassing the amount of people who do end up arguing. I'd rather walk away.

Yes op I def agree. People are rude. My mam was saying nobody wants help anyone now.

Yes people definitely seem more angry and less patient.

Yes stood outside of store, right next to window so lots of space all around us. It was not busy. You could walk across to shop opposite without having to stop for anyone as quiet. We had been stood there a couple of minutes before this family approached us expecting us to jump put of way despite being plenty of room to walk around.

Hmm I'm not sure about the last one tbh. Maybe you should have moved to the side so people wouldn't HAVE to go around you. I wasn't there so obviously can't be sure but sounds like maybe you were being (unintentionally) rude?

I find the same OP:

• The local Evri shop really do not like accepting parcels. They always ask me sarcastically ‘anything you want to buy’ because they know I only ever go on there for parcels, and never to buy anything. I get that it’s good to support local businesses but with a Tesco Extra just up the road, I can’t justify paying small shop inflated prices. And the goods aren’t as good.
• totally with you on people expecting you to move for them. Men especially are terrible for this. On a pavement they will expect me to give way. I do most of the time but I think it shouldn’t automatically be on the woman to move.
• people expect you to hold open the doors for them and then (1) they don’t say thank you (2) they don’t take hold of the door, just expecting to waltz through it

I think your response to ‘walk around’ (if you weren’t blocking the entrance) is spot on and one I use myself.

No one says 'Excuse me' anymore! Now people just walk up to you and expect you to move over without saying a word. Or saying thank you when you let them through

I fully agree with you OP.
People seem so much more aggressive and impatient nowadays.
Angry drivers also.

What gets me is the glaring - turn a corner with your trolley in a shop, someone is there, "whoops sorry!" Bloody death stare back. Do that pavement dance with someone, "ooh, ha ha!" Another death stare.

I hate this when said to women but some people just need to lighten the fuck up.

I think lots of people are at the edge of what they can tolerate in terms of demands on their time, financial pressure, and the context of it being a tough time to be in the world. And they are responding to that by digging their heels in and not bending in the small number of situations they feel they have control over. OP’s own anecdote of telling people to “walk around” because she wasn’t prepared to move is actually a perfect example of this.

We were right next to window so unable to move any further to the side. We stood there so we WEREN'T in the way! We were stood there before this family were in sight and there was a lot of room to walk round us. It was a shopping centre which is big and was quiet.

Something that happened to me a while ago. I was standing by a shop waiting for a friend and the assistant came out and told me to clear off as I was blocking the window.

Hmm...there are lot of posts suggesting people are getting ruder. I'm not convinced that's true. The examples you've picked are things that, unfortunately, are not new things. Some people are rude; you're bound to work with some of them at some point. Some small shopkeepers are rude and hate accepting parcels etc.

Yes, I do think how you look (and speak) changes the way some others interact with you - particularly those in positions of power/authority. It shouldn't be the case, but it is.

I think some people are ruder because more people are doing stupid and/or discourteous things.

People are losing patience with it all.

I think if someone is clearly in the way they should know that they are, and move. For example if they are blocking doorways or the top of escalators. You shouldn't actually have to ask. But of course you should say thanks if they do move.

I hope you told her that they didn't own the pavement outside the store.

But I think sometimes people are a bit nonplussed by something like that happening and just move off shaking their heads at what has just happened!

The middle aged couple holding hands and blocking pavements epidemic we saw in covid seems to have kicked off again where I live.

I think my response was due to the fact there was plenty of room, and I mean plenty, to walk around and their sense of entitlement that everyone should give way to them. The fact the dad shouted "excuse me!" instead of speaking in a normal tone especially in front of my daughter.

But totally get what you say, and appreciate your reply.

I'm fat and don't get treated rudely. I do think people who stand around blocking the pavement and shop entrances are very rude, however.

I just moved as he was a little bit aggressive, but I was tutting and shaking my head as I did so.

A few years ago I had something similar, I was looking at batteries at the end of an aisle in a supermarket (so needed a few seconds to find the right ones) and people kept wanting to get by with their trolleys. Eventually the next person came along and I said can you go round because I need to look at these batteries sometime but of course Mr Entitled Man wasn't going to give me any time.

I dislike it when people take ages to look at things in the supermarket but I wasn't getting a chance to.

I think I gave up and bought them from a different supermarket.