Rudeness of people increasing

[Honest1980]

Just that really - not sure whether it's just me or whether other people are experiencing this. Few examples.

Daughter getting braces. One of the admin there messed something up but since being really off with me. I had to send a email and she replied quite curtly. I will complain if happens again but why be so rude?

Ordered full length mirror off amazon, arrived smashed. Had to return it at evri parcelshop. As soon as I walked in with it shop keeper was rude to me firing loads of questions saying wouldn't be accepted because of size etc. Clearly didn't want to accept it. I had trouble scanning qr code, shop keeper shouting at me that I'm not holding phone properly. Really rude. He kept telling me how to hold phone to get qr on screen and I kept telling him qr code on screen between lines cannot understand why not scanning. I knew it was because he didn't want to accept parcel so that made me more stubborn to not take it elsewhere. I was really calm and polite. I asked him to please help me and he actually said "No I'm not going to help you". A few minutes later I said please help otherwise I'll be here all day. He was so rude "OK I'll do it but I'm not touching your phone if I drop and break it you'll sue me you're all the same". He took a picture and scanned it. Then went on about packaging that it better not fall apart etc. It was packaged well.

When I went out of shop I realised that I should have adjusted brightness on phone. I have returned lots of parcels fine. I go to that shop a lot but won't anymore. It's owners son I think, I've never seen him before.

Couple of people at work so rude. Work in large office. Some are in their 50s but act like school kids whispering, purposely blocking corridors when they know you want to get past, one was aghast that I took her lunch put of microwave when she had left it so I could use microwave.

People in shopping centres not moving put of way. Had instance of standing outside shop with my daughter while I looked for something in my bag, plenty of room behind me. Mum and dad with you son all holding hands walked right up to me and just stood there expecting me and my daughter to jump put of way despite being lots of room to.walk.round us. Then says really loudly "excuse you!". I just looked at him and said "walk around". He said something sarcastic when they did walk around.

Eating out. We generally have a good experience but some are so rude and unhelpful.

I know all the above sounds petty and everyone experiences same - and I can deal with it, might be annoyed for a bit but I move on. But it seems to happen a lot and I just wonder if people are becoming more rude and entitled.

Also, do you think that sometimes your appearance affects how you are treated? I've put on some weight (although am losing it now) and before I used to make effort with hair and make up. I've found when I've been my heaviest and not making effort with appearance people have been ruder to me than when I was slimmer and made effort.

Essay over!

I’ve noticed a sharp increase in customers being rude and having unreasonable expectations. I guess it must be to do with the cost of living and the rise ultra cheap stores, but people expect premium services for peanuts now.

Manners are scarce now imo

Friend who works at a supermarket has said that the lovely elderly customers are, sadly a dying breed. As hear that they have died. Yet the misogs (short for miserable old gits) and momins (short for moaning minnies) are thriving🙄

Another place for rudeness is the reduction areas. Friend above sometimes helps out doing reductions if the regular code checkers are on holiday. It was 20 mins before closing time and she was told by manager to reduce things to 10p or 20p. There were 10 papayas and a man asked her what do you do with them. She said cut them up and eat the flesh. He took all 10. If you are unsure of what to do with a food item, you take just one, not the entire stock of the item.

The supermarket (unsure if its company or store) has a policy that if customer picks up items in reduction area and a member of staff is reducing what's left pn shelves/chillers again, the customers cannot demand to reduce the item again for them. Putting item back on shelf does not count either, Some get very abusive so much so they have been banned,

👏👏👏

Yes I agree. It's awful!

People always walk in front of me or gravitate towards me

MOVE

WHHHY

But I always have to say something

I find it appalling how, when someone is in the wrong and you let them know, they have a go at you. Especially when driving, I had someone pull out in front of me once, I tooted my horn, he stopped his van and got out to approach my car. It was only when he realized lots of other cars had to stop and was being watched did he walk away.

'Be kind is only ever spouted by rude people'. So bloody true! Some of the rudest,nastiest people l have had the misfortune to encounter have been the very ones saying this.

There's only one thing worse than someone making excuses for their shit behaviour,and that's other people making excuses for their shit behaviour!

Being fair, I think that if you won't move your shopping off a seat, you deserve to be hit round the head.

I have found since the pandemic people have got more rude less considerate. I have given up telling people not to cycle along the pavement even though a two way cycle lane has been built.They do it at speed on a narrow busy pavement ? There is a class thing where I live where a certain level of entitlement means they take up the entire pavement with kids,prams, dogs and expect me to just jump into the gutter. I now try to stand my ground and wonder has no one taught them single file. I prefer the elderly who have manners and consideration that care about being the little interactions sentiments that make life with fellow humans pleasant and life affirming. I do think technology has created an ‘I culture where its about earpods and zone out . At least I could cry, lose the plot have an argument or create tyranny most passers by would be completely oblivious no one even bothers to press the button at traffic lights to cross , Joggers on the pavement at speed expect you to move out of the way it doesn’t surprise me that a woman was pushed into a bus lane into an incoming bus by a jogger. My partner gets frustrated with being knocked into , trodden on or pram wheels over his foot and no one thanks you for holding the door open. Its the new normal . The best one was at the Opticians the other day I was helping my mother the guy serving us was scrolling his phone and yawning he was older than me! we didn’t buy any glasses there on principle No one seems invested in being a human its all moved online 😂

Speaking up when people are not being considerate is not embarrassing, we really need to get out of this mindset that women should just stay quiet or walk away.

When we (DH, DC and I) try to cross at a pedestrian crossing, we often have people not stop and last week had a huge truck charge through and the driver and passenger gestured rudely to us.

I agree OP, lots of rude behaviours.

In my experience, it’s men generally who are bad tempered and rude.

Please are selfish. Look at the last few years and the culture in the country. Our leaders are entitled so why should we. A return to collective thinking would be a start.
Also people are stressed. Over money, over the state of the country, over the environment, over the lack of jobs and housing and opportunities. It’s a depression mindset. No one feels good towards their fellow humans in that state.

People need to learn to be assertive, NOT aggressive.

You can make your point and "demand" the right service in a calm, respectful, but assertive manner.

Trouble is that people who fly off the handle immediately lose the battle and the person/people providing the customer service win the moral high ground. That does nothing to improve their customer service, it just perpetuates the customer/patient blaming.

And the other problem is that people confuse the two. Aggression is constantly praised as assertiveness.

Rule of thumb: if you are beginning to raise your voice, use insults, or pepper your interaction with foul language, you are probably being more aggressive than assertive.

I'd say those examples is definitely "aggressive", not probably!

Just no need for it at all, and like I say, you immediately lose the battle if you resort to insults or bad language. No need at all, not even to raise your voice.

You can still be assertive by staying calm and polite. The real issue is knowing the facts and your rights and having a clear and reasonable requirement of what you want the customer service person to do.

People who resort to insults and swearing often don't know the facts/rights, don't know how they want the issue resolved, sometimes expect too much (well over what is a reasonable compromise) and can easily come across as aggressive/arrogant/dumb, which gives the green light to the customer services advisor to play the moral high ground card!

Joggers on the pavement at speed expect you to move out of the way

Yes I do, but for the same reasons that you said in the rest of your post - why should I run in the gutter because people won't go single file? Same if I am walking. I will stop and make people go round me if they won't move over.

As for aggression versus assertiveness - men are assertive, women are aggressive if they act in the same way.

But I don't think men are more aggressive - well a bit. If I am overgeneralising unreasonably, I would say that middle aged men (over 50s) are the rudest, followed by yummy mummies in their 30s and 40s.

Yes, I'd agree with this. It's all 'me, me, me' and manners have gone out of the window in a lot of cases. There is such a lack of consideration for others that it makes it miserable for everyone.

The frequency of me holding doors
open for people who sail then through without saying thanks or even while casting a dirty glance my way has definitely increased over recent years. I think this is a very clear example of how some people see politeness as weakness and servility. Their problem primarily, because this indicates a very fragile ego I’m glad I don’t have, but it all adds to making the world a bit less pleasant.

I have also noted on here how often posters stand up for ott aggro responses to extremely minor transgressions. Posts where the op has been on the receiving end often derail into an examination of whether the op provoked it or not.

There seems to be an overall lack of proportionality and forgiveness when someone puts you out at all - see example on the first page of this thread about trolleys in the supermarket.

The holding of doors. I held a door earlier this year to a chav mum with a twin buggy. She shouted I am very capable of doing this myself.

If I didn't hold the door, she would have bitched me for not holding the door.

You cannot win sometimes.

I was in Lidl where the milk is behind doors which touch the floor. A trolley was blocking the door I required. Owner of trolley not around. I moved it every so slightly - a few cm to get to the milk.

"Don't you dare touch my trolley"

@Darlingx
Do you live in Solihull by any chance? I could have written this post myself, especially about the forever empty two-way cycle lane built at vast expense 😁