Is A wrong or B?

[MotherOfOlafs]

I’ll start by saying I’m neither of these people, but I do know both of them. I’m giving them fake names too.

Ann and Bev are best friends and have been for around 60 years. Ann has never been able to drive but gets about very freely on public transport. Bev has been driving all of her adult life. Bev has always said to Ann if she needs driving anywhere to just call her, Ann has asked for the occasional lift/picking up over the years and it’s been no problem. Ann hasn’t taken liberties with this offer.

Ann went to the garden centre last Saturday on the bus, she wanted to buy some plants but while she was there she saw an ex-display garden parasol and base for a very good price. Ann wanted the items but the garden centre couldn’t deliver them, she bought them anyway. Ann decided to call Bev to pick her and her parasol and base up from the garden centre, about a 15 min drive away from her house. Bev answered and told Ann it wasn’t convenient as she was busy at home. Ann was angry Bev didn’t pick her up and reminded her that Bev said ‘if she ever needed a lift’ etc. Bev hung up the phone and Ann had to call a cab which annoyed her as she never does that usually.

Ann and Bev aren’t talking and they usually would every day. So who would you say is in the wrong and who if anyone should apologise?

I don't drive myself and if I have anything big and heavy to carry, I call a taxi. Really annoys me when other people don't do the same, I wouldn't dream of ringing a friend to say "Can you pick me up?". Pay for a goddam taxi!

Ann being unreasonably. Should have phoned Bev to check before buying. Poor Bev. She deserves a grovelling apology.

Ann is a cheeky fucker. Bev isn’t an on demand service. We all say ‘let me know if you need anything’. That doesn’t mean we are available night and day 365 days a year to the person we said it to.

Ann is taking liberties.
Bev would have given her a lift if she could BUT it didn’t suit her at short notice and that’s ok!
Bev is NOT a taxi.

Ann is in the wrong. She can't expect Bev to drop everything whenever she needs a lift. Give me a call whenever you need a lift means , I can help out obviously if I'm not busy myself

A is unreasonable. When she found out B was busy she should just have said ‘oh ok, just thought I’d chance my arm and see if you were free, no worries, speak to you later’

A's cognitive processes seem disordered, in that she didn't call B before making the purchase, and then it didn't occur to her to ask the shop to hold the item for collection at a later time.

She wasn't morally wrong to make those errors, but she shouldn't be angry with B either. Has her personality changed at all recently?

Exactly!

What on earth was Bev thinking?

Yes. I think Ann should have rung Bev first before she bought the parasol (Bev, I'm at the garden centre, any chance you'd be able to pick me up if I buy....) . In fact, I think if she had done this then Bev would've probably agreed to pick her up. I think Bev was irritated at Ann's entitlement so she said she was 'busy at home', which is why Ann is now annoyed (nothing really important) - but actually Ann started it with her entitled attitude. I don't think I'd even do that to my husband - buy something and then expect him to get me. You have to ask first!

I think at the very least Ann should have rung Bev before she bought those items to see if she could pick her up. Then it would be up to her if she wanted them enough to get a cab home with them. Bev wasn’t unreasonable to refuse if she was busy, and Ann shouldn’t be so churlish - she took Bev for granted when she should have checked first.

Ann is very entitled and should not have expected her friend to drop everything if she was busy. She should just have phoned a taxi.

This is the most obvious AIBU I’ve ever seen. If anyone thinks it’s B then… well, I have no words.

Of course ann is in the wrong

Well obviously a aka Ann was wrong

Who assumes that another person is at their beck and call

Be diff is she said could you please pick me up as I plan to buy something heavy

But with no notice obv B was in her right to say no

Ann is the one being unreasonable.