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Original poster

To discourage DD for a career in performing arts

172 replies

Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 21:50

DD said she wants to go to a performing Sixth form; wants to be an actress, doesn’t want the normal office job of sitting in an office in front of a laptop all day.

I am in two minds whether to support or discourage it. It is a very competitive world and quite difficult to make a living. Perhaps encourage it as a hobby with another career on the side.

She is not ver academic and prefer creative activities and freedom.

Would be grateful for advice

OP posts:
KingOfPeace · 17/09/2024 21:53

My personal feeling is that 16 is very young to pick a career path and I'd let her go and do a couple of years of something fun whilst she grows up. She will learn some valuable skills that would be useful in lots of careers.

JacquelineShit · 17/09/2024 21:54

How much acting has she done so far, and is she good at it?

cestlavielife · 17/09/2024 21:56

Why not? If she gets into the sixth form let her follow her passion.

FredaFox · 17/09/2024 21:57

Has she been doing drama at school or in her spare time it is this out of the blue
Fuss she even have skills? I assume there's a n audition process

thesandwich · 17/09/2024 21:58

support her with following her dreams- and encourage her to have transferrable skills/ experience she can use to earn a living - teaching/ coaching youngsters etc, running drama clubs and other arts related careers. Less threatened by ai than accountancy….

Aquamarine1029 · 17/09/2024 22:01

You can support your children to follow their dreams and to have a back up plan at the same time. For example, if they aren't able to succeed as an actor, what other kind of work in the entertainment industry might they be interested in? PR work, editing, costumes, set design, etc, etc.

HealthyHopefulHappy · 17/09/2024 22:03

She'll never forget if you discourage her. Let her try, she might surprise you. And if not she is young enough try something else afterwards. Let the boring life decisions wait, there's plenty of time for them!

Florally · 17/09/2024 22:04

Surely if she’s 16 this isn’t a surprise… she must have already been in school productions, extra curricular classes, her choice of GCSE’s would have been affected, local am dram, etc etc…

If this isn’t the case, I wouldn’t think she really wants this.

Twinklefloss · 17/09/2024 22:05

My dd is very talented, has a drama scholarship to a private school, and I’m actively encouraging her to plan a parallel career alongside the drama school plans. She is told by us at every opportunity just how tough it is and her chances of making a decent living (to keep her in the standard to which she is accustomed!) are very slim.

SweatySpaghetti · 17/09/2024 22:05

If she ends up as a working actress she needs to be aware she will probably still spend a lot of her time working in an office/restaurant/bar/receptionist between jobs.

distractmeagain · 17/09/2024 22:05

let her follow her dream... my youngest did the whole 'performing arts' thing, amateur dramatics, always lead in the school play, cost us a fortune getting her into the best stage classes in the area...

she's 22 now.. and a teacher! not a hint of acting in place.. is it not better to have tried and failed than to have never not tried at all?

Original poster
Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 22:08

Thank you, she is nearly 14. Has done a bit of acting, not a lot so far.

OP posts:
Button28384738 · 17/09/2024 22:10

I don't see the harm in it, I assume she would need to do auditions to get in so if she's not good enough she won't.

As long as she works to get decent GCSEs especially maths and English why not.

Better than having no ambitions and just sitting in her room refusing to do anything

GiddyRobin · 17/09/2024 22:11

I did A-Levels, but some of my friends did diplomas in Drama. It wasn't all acting, and they learned a really well rounded syllabus. History, script writing, creative writing, then behind the scenes things too. Did wonders for their confidence, and they got into university.

One did a straight Drama degree, and she recently did something (I'm not sure what, I only see her FB posts on occasion) at the Edinburgh Fringe. The other decided to do a combined honours of Drama and English, and she's now an English teacher in a very nice school.

I'd just keep a dialogue going about broad options, things she can do if acting in itself isn't enough, etc. There are plenty of jobs Drama can lead to, it isn't all just being on stage and trying to be famous. Your DD will grow up a lot over the next few years too, her plans might change, but if she's creative then this is a nice path for her.

Original poster
Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 22:11

Aquamarine1029 · 17/09/2024 22:01

You can support your children to follow their dreams and to have a back up plan at the same time. For example, if they aren't able to succeed as an actor, what other kind of work in the entertainment industry might they be interested in? PR work, editing, costumes, set design, etc, etc.

Thanks. Good point reg other work in the entertainment industry: she will probably like costumes, set design, make up artist too.

OP posts:
distractmeagain · 17/09/2024 22:12

Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 22:08

Thank you, she is nearly 14. Has done a bit of acting, not a lot so far.

get her along to the local am dram society.. get her involved in the local panto.. and take it from there.. when you say shes done a bit of acting, what do you mean? as in school plays? or paid acting?

Allloveisbeautiful · 17/09/2024 22:13

Our daughter is 15 and in y11 and is saying exactly the same. She has been consistent in this for a couple of years so we will support her as much as we can. It is a competitive industry but so are many others and my feeling is we have to at least let her try or she’ll never know

Original poster
Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 22:13

distractmeagain · 17/09/2024 22:12

get her along to the local am dram society.. get her involved in the local panto.. and take it from there.. when you say shes done a bit of acting, what do you mean? as in school plays? or paid acting?

Show quote history

Not paid acting; just school and Saturday school plays

OP posts:
Allloveisbeautiful · 17/09/2024 22:16

Drama schools look at stuff done outside school much more than school productions. The passion and commitment must be there more than anything else (obviously talent is also a factor!)

Sososg · 17/09/2024 22:21

They are full of dreams at that age. Just make sure it’s not her only one.

Most lads want to be footballers too but 1/50,000 make it.

Gimmeabreak2025 · 17/09/2024 22:22

She can always get other qualifications or an apprenticeship after let her try she may have the time of her life and doesn’t mean she couldn’t do other things after

Original poster
Masteringlife · 17/09/2024 22:23

Thank you all. excellent advice here; it is good to have dreams. We will support her and let her find out for herself; with a back up plan on the side when she is holder

OP posts:
boomdeboom · 17/09/2024 22:23

She will always remember you discouraging her. I really wanted to be cabin crew. My mum wanted me to get a degree and said cabin crew was a stupid choice. I got the degree and then worked in retail ever since completely unrelated to my degree. I think cabin crew would probably be preferable to where I ended up working!!!

Phen0menon · 17/09/2024 22:25

Why not? If she gets into the sixth form let her follow her passion.

Because the reality is loads of people love acting/drama/music, loads are good at it, and few make a decent living doing it.

Can you educate her a bit about what the typical life of an actress actually is?

Eg

  • lots of auditions, few parts
  • poorly paid work in things like touring educational companies that visit schools
  • low paid, intermittent work in small theatres in regional towns and cities
  • voiceover work
  • acting in corporate/training videos
  • have a few other jobs besides, waitressing, tutoring
  • running drama clubs/activities for kids
  • if lucky, a brief role in an advert
  • non speaking/very minor parts in not well known tv programmes
  • poor pension provision due to self employment
  • long hours
Phen0menon · 17/09/2024 22:27

costumes, set design, make up artist too.

Also very competitive - see above re expecting a career on the fringes in these roles - small theatres, small tv companies making niche programmes, infrequent work with long spells in a back up job in retail/hospitality