To discourage DD for a career in performing arts

[Masteringlife]

DD said she wants to go to a performing Sixth form; wants to be an actress, doesn’t want the normal office job of sitting in an office in front of a laptop all day.

I am in two minds whether to support or discourage it. It is a very competitive world and quite difficult to make a living. Perhaps encourage it as a hobby with another career on the side.

She is not ver academic and prefer creative activities and freedom.

Would be grateful for advice

I think totally encourage it but of course encourage a full education and the importance of options and other opportunities. My DS wants to be a footballer. Plays for his local club at top level but as mentioned already I am totally aware of the absolute minuscule chance of 'making it'. I never tell him that the chances are incredibly slim if next to nothing as don't want to kill his dreams but I do have to be honest and tell him that he has to stay on top of training because it's very competitive and they accept and drop players at the drop of a hat. He's seen that with his own eyes too seeing his team mates suddenly dropped. It's heartbreaking but a reality. I have always stressed the importance of education in all areas and he does very well academically so I am not concerned in that respect. On another note, I was a very creative child, wrote a lot of stories and poetry and it wasn't encouraged. Ended up going uni and in a decent job wfh, but I have always dreamed of the 'what if' I had pursued the creative life. Think it would have suited me much better.

To pps saying that any degree will do for lots of jobs, I don't think this is true, it depends on the job.

A drama degree may be very useful for a sales job, but not so much for a lot of graduate entry schemes, where more traditional degrees are valued by interviewers, often unfairly as they're the type of degrees the interviewers themselves have.

I have a friend with a drama degree, ended up doing lots of promotion work, retrained to work in childcare, it's been financially challenging for her for years.

Take her to as many Open Days as you can, ASAP, to see if they incentivise her and make her more determined

My daughter has always wanted to be an actress from age 3 lol she’s not very academic but loves being on stage. Though she dances and sings as well. We’ve always encouraged her and let her lead what she wants to do. She’s finished school but at a performing arts school now and thriving. The best bit is they cover much more which she’s loving. From script writing to voiceovers and camera work so getting a total feel of other options she enjoys as well. She’s never had a back up option and has been realistic about her future. Even little she’d tell us she’d live in a tent til she made it 🤣 thankfully she attended an open university day for her boyfriend who’s extremely academic and she now has a back up plan of dental hygienist for some reason (stuff like looking into people’s mouths makes her gag very dramatically lol) but happy she’s got a back up plan if she needs.

I’m not an actor but spent a long time working in costume departments. Firstly there’s a range of careers within performance, including the technical side, which studying drama also teaches you about. For me, doing costume transitioned nicely into doing alterations when I became a mum. Stage managers I’ve worked with have become event planners, performers have become teachers and writers, it can provide a range of skills that can be very transferable

from my personal experience and those of performers I know it’s incredibly difficult

• constant auditions, often you have to pay for as well and have to be able to handle rejection well
• usually self employed which personally I hated (do alterations in a boutique now and no longer self employed)
• some periods will be very busy, some will have no work.
• most performers I worked with had other jobs - bar work, retail, call centre, etc for stability.
• most roles aren’t great pay

HOWEVER if my parents had tried to put me off I’d have never forgiven them. They encouraged me to have a back up, do a range of subjects at a level (business and German as well as textiles/english), and to gain plenty of work experience in my late teens. I’ve said a lot of negative things about it so far but it can be a fantastic career, I’ve travelled all over, met fascinating people, and learned so much! If she has potential, it’s worth encouraging her, but keeping her mindful of the challenges of this career and prepared to work hard, be resilient and have options

My daughter lived and breathed performing arts when at school. She was in all the productions, and attended all music recitals. She took A level music , did a music degree and is now a secondary school music teacher, and STILL living and breathing performing arts.
I don’t really see why you feel it’s not an option, if it is her passion. It should be her choice anyway.

Yes to all of this.

If your daughter has drive, she will find her path.

Actor training will give her great skills for life even if she doesn't go into it.

Most teenagers have zero idea what they want to be. If she has a dream let her enjoy pursuing it - she may be one of those who make it. And if you've supported it your relationship will flourish.

If she has to fight for it and battle you all the way - whatever happens, your relationship may be damaged.

An actor is a one person business. Make sure her training includes business studies, self promotion, financial and tax awareness, knowledge about her rights in employment.

And encourage her to join Equity as a student. Young actresses especially can find it a challenging profession. Exploitation exists.

Ensure her education is all round. Literacy and numeracy are essential for actors anyway.

And any other skills she can acquire for the inevitable not-in-acting-work spells. They will be the norm. As well as the usual bar, cafe etc work, actors may also do teaching, corporate roleplay, call centre, hosting etc.

Let her choose. It is her life. One of my DDs is now in her 30s and fully self supporting as an artist. My 16yr old left school this year to do a technical theatre qualification (lights, props, set, sound)

Their lives are not ours to lead. Or impose our choices upon. By all means give advice if it is asked for.

She needs to see what's put there on SM and consider establishing a presence of her own.

Excellent idea. She can explore different career paths and gain perspective how motivated one needs to be to "make it."

She should do as much amateur/community theatre as possible and attend children’s theatre classes if these are affordable. If she likes the discipline and hard work and repetition of it, she could consider applying to the good drama schools for training. It’s very competitive, yes, and with insecure income, but now there are ways to put oneself out there, make your own work, etc.

Working in a theatre, a fair majority of our FoH team are also theatrically or artistically minded in other ways too. The FoH job is a fairly steady income whilst we explore and pursue the other aspects.

We have staff who have been at the Fringe, done Panto, been on the West End, many of them teach children's drama/singing classes, appeared on TV, they host podcasts and YT channels, write scripts and books and poetry, do costume and set design, tour schools, have been on cruise ships... I bet you'd know some of their names, or at least faces

They all still end up coming back for stints between projects and that can vary from a few weeks to months. And none of them would give up being theatrical

Acting and theatre aren't easy careers but they can be fun. Just manage her expectations and make sure she knows it's good to have a back up

And get her into the local Amdram groups. Show her you can have fun and do theatre whilst having a "proper" job too and also get her some experience with auditions and performing to bigger audiences

The people in charge of my high school theater program were stage actors with decades of experience. They obviously never became famous or anything, but they managed to live pretty solidly middle-class lives as working actors. If she wants to pursue acting professionally, I’d encourage her to look into which cities have a high number of theaters per capita.

I believe that you can re-invent yourself at any age in today’s world. It’s quite different from older generations. My brother wanted to be a radio DJ. He was already working in a bank and my parents were very anti him leaving a ‘safe’ job. He did do it, spent 5 years and got some industry awards. Then it wasn’t working for him anymore so he moved on. He’s now working in a specialised procurement arena, and doing very well. And, there’s no “what ifs” which he would have had if he’d never tried it. Acting doesn’t work out, go back and re-train.

As someone who sat at a desk for nearly 50 years my advice to anyone who wants to do something else is to go for it! Being bored for most of your working life is soul destroying. However, she does need a back up plan in case it doesn't work out, as obviously it's not a guaranteed income earner. Just support her in her dreams, but it doesn't hurt to point out the pitfalls. I agree that she should get into some am dram to see how she likes it.

That’s true; many people change jobs throughout their life. My friend is an Accountant, moved country worked as a cleaner, then coffee shop, retrained as a teacher Assistant and loves working in a school and with children.

I always wanted to be a writer but was strongly discouraged by everyone using the same arguments I see here - too unpredictable, no money in it, everyone wants to do it etc.

I became a teacher instead but always felt frustrated about never even trying to achieve that dream.

Eventually I gave up the teaching and switched to being a full time writer instead. The only thing I regret is the time I wasted and the support I wish I'd had at your daughter's age.

Good idea. I will start taking her to open days for performing schools and the theatre too.

Drama classes, preferably ones offering grade level exams as that gives some indication of the curriculum and the standard of teaching and offers qualifications.

(If she's looking at musical theatre, she needs good singing and dancing classes, too, and not just the commercial competition type, but if she's had no dance training at 14, she's going to find it very tough.)

At the same time, look at the NODA website, find a couple of local amateur societies, go watch their stuff to get a feel for them and have her start auditioning. The standard can be incredibly high, depending on the society, and it's the best way to really decide if she loves it.

If she's serious, she needs more 'on her CV' than school plays and school qualifications - acting school places are very competitive and the better rated drama/acting BA's are also academically tough, needing high grades out of sixth form.

It also lets you be supportive while testing whether she's really inclined to the reality and the work it needs but there are absolutely loads of careers in the performing arts and surrounding them.

And, even if she doesn't go for it, there are tons of transferable skills.

I'd encourage her but remind her of the realities and that she may have to work regular jobs to pay the bills if it's not paying enough.

I going to support her; she has not done a lot to be honest and she may change her mind but I agree she will be bored to pieces in sn office job and a creative career will be better for her, she has a good sense of humour, good eye for detail, good long term memory, likes drawing, singing, fashion, makeup. Hopefully she will find her path and can make a decent living with something she enjoys.

We are going to start going to the theatre and open datys.

Really pleased you will support her OP. I danced when I was younger and it's amazing the careers some of my classmates have gone on to have (I loved it but my talents lay elsewhere). There is wonderful, rewarding work in the creative field and people are very closed minded and negative about it, unfortunately.

My cousin worked in musical theatre, mostly as a dancer but also doubling as an understudy for some major speaking roles. When she was a teenager, her dad used to be very against her pursuing her dreams, arguing it was not a real career, but she made it work. She's now an actress in a TV show, but in a fairly minor recurring role, so she has another regular/normal job on the side.

Despite her dad's doubt, she's managed to carve out a career in the entertainment industry for nearly 20 years now. But she did get some good A-levels which enabled her to go to university at a later age (once she became too old to work as a dancer basically), and develop a second career path alongside her acting work.

I wanted to work backstage. My parents were very against it and I ended up as a teacher. While I enjoy teaching I regret not giving theatre a go. My CD also wants to work backstage. We are encouraging her, but she has also decided to do A levels rather than a theatre BTech to keep her options open ....