To discourage DD for a career in performing arts

[Masteringlife]

DD said she wants to go to a performing Sixth form; wants to be an actress, doesn’t want the normal office job of sitting in an office in front of a laptop all day.

I am in two minds whether to support or discourage it. It is a very competitive world and quite difficult to make a living. Perhaps encourage it as a hobby with another career on the side.

She is not ver academic and prefer creative activities and freedom.

Would be grateful for advice

I wanted to be an actress at that age. What I wanted to do with my life evolved over time (a few open casting calls with thousands of teenage girls queuing up to audition soon brought me a healthy dose of reality of what the job was likely to be like!)
I studied a relevant creative degree, rather than go to drama school, and now work in the film industry, which is still “gig work”, but generally more consistent, as you tend to be hired for months at a time. The UK industry is surprisingly large given the size of the country, and the range of roles is mind boggling. What’s more the skills are slightly more transferable in quiet times. There are creative roles in art department, set dressing, prop making, prosthetics, costume and make up, VFX, post production, even stunt co-ordination.

Good ypu want to now let her follow her interests and support her. Isn't that our role as parents? If it doesn't work support her in her next steps. Life doesn't have to be lived in a straight line. You don't have to be a working actor to use a drama qualification either, there are plenty of options.

I'm with those saying encourage her to follow her dreams but encouraging a career.

My ds is a swimmer. Many of the swimmers he trains with (all British champs level) study sports science or PE a level alongside biology and psychology (as examples).

That way they can follow their passion in sport alongside training (which is 21 hours a week) and whatever happens they have qualifications that can be used.

Love the idea of set or costume design alongside. How is her art? Could she do gcse art and maybe performing arts btec with art btec in college?

But it doesn't have to be related. For example my ds did computer science and he currently working as a software developer alongside his training and works for a company who are happy when he zotts off around the world for weeks on end to compete!

He's only 20. Hasn't given up on his dreams of making the paralympics. But has a career he can fall back on if it doesn't work out. But I 100% think not being in a high pressure career at 20 is fine. He has another 45+ working years ahead of him!

My advice is to let her do what she wants. I did an art degree and ended up working part time in finance with a good salary. So I get to paint still and bring in a good income. Anyone can get a normal job - let her pursue her dreams.

We're not in the UK but my daughter wanted to pursue performing arts from a similar age. From 17 she did 2 years at a full time dance school, and completed a diploma in Musical theatre. She now teaches dance and musical theatre a couple of days a week and realised she loves working with little children, so she's started her early years qualifications and is currently working in child care to make up full time hours. She would love to earn her living from musical theatre but is realistic. She's done two pretty big (but unpaid) shows this year which she gets a huge amount of enjoyment from and she's happy with that. We have no regrets in letting her pursue the dream!

Book her into Stagecoach or whatever independent version is local to you on Saturdays? They normally do a two session trial. It’s singing, dancing and acting, with a show. They have different age groups, she would be senior. It will give her a taste of learning scripts and putting on stage performance's

My GD got into the Italia Conti school, and then their college. Really tough selection process. She loved it, and graduated with good marks.

She was then headhunted by a cruise ship scout, and is currently sailing her way around the Caribbean, as part of the entertainment team, until next April.

She’s seeing the world, earning a very, very good salary,

Lovely life for a 20 year old. 👍

But, the selections/auditions etc are very tough.

She's potentially working for 50 years. No-one will know if she's one of the lucky ones that makes it as an actor however the college course could help with skills such as confidence and public speaking

I think now people are aware of how transferable skills can be and thus opens up more pathways and opportunities rather than having to follow one path

She's 16, she's got dreams let her have them.

Not in 2024.
I've interviewed (and still do! for one) for a variety of schemes that accept any degree including marketing, tech, operations,HR. Most large firms have schemes recruiting in at at least one of these area. Even the big banks and MNC's like BP.

Of course she isn't going to get into, I don't know, investment banking or the civil service fast stream but that's not the entire world.

A lot of these recruit university blind and have standard online assessments/video interview to weed out candidates. They also, unlike law or medicine don't actually require strong academic skills for success. Communication, drive and common sense is far more important. Also work experience, that you can use as examples.

Would you mind sharing the ballpark figure for a cruise performer's salary?

She is 14 years old.

She has no idea how she will feel at 16 let alone 20 or 30.

The idea that we should be discouraging 14 year old children from pursuing their interests and passions because they might not lead directly to a well-paid career is both depressing and nonsensical. Some of the most successful people I know re-trained, changed career paths entirely or went back to university in their 20's or 30's. If she decides to study performing arts at 6th form that doesn't mean she's tied to it for life. But if a child is repeatedly discouraged and told that there is no point trying because they're unlikely to succeed, I imagine that can have a lasting impact.

My first degree was in an Arts related subject. Although I ultimately chose not to pursue a career in the Arts I have never regretted it. The transferable skills it gave me have been invaluable, it was a great experience and the people I met really opened my mind and influenced my thinking and approach to work.
I am still in touch with most people I studied with and some have gone on to have successful careers in the performing Arts. A few have gone into Academia, one is a very well regarded chef, one a journalist and published Author, a couple work in TV production, one is directing documentaries, one is in PR, one is a photographer.

Thank you all. You inspired me to let her follow her dream. I am not sure whether she will become an actress but she will get some valuable skills from it.

She is 13, soon to be 14. I don’t think she knows what it takes to become an actress but she will find out and decide for herself.

I know for certain that she will enjoy a more creative career either in film, theatre, fashion. Not sure what exactly but hopefully it will become more clear after 6th form college and before she chooses a degree.

She is good at arts too.

I let my daughter and she's just started a degree in drama.
She knows she won't be an actress so is working towards being a drama teacher. Shes done some fab shows with sixth form too

If she is planning on Uni then a degree is a degree - my daughter got a music degree and is now a senior fire officer on a very good salary - she would not be able to go any further without a degree but it does not matter what degree it is.

My other daughter got a performing arts degree and has worked as a dance teacher, front of house manager at a theatre and we live in a non descript midland town. Unfortunately how successful you can be in the performing arts depends as much on where you live or your ability to be mobile as your talent or qualifications. Being near London or Manchester is best.

The skills you develop really are transferable to a multitude of roles - is she likely to be earning the best money? - No but is she likely to be happier? - Yes

Why does every decision have to be driven by earning potential? There is so much more to life.

And people who have done acting tend to be absolutely brilliant at interviews and their confidence often beats out others with better qualifications.

She doesn't just have to be good she has to be lucky, and be lucky every time she needs money.

My DD went into the performing arts, and did make it, against all the odds. She went to a specialist sixth form. She did A levels too.

It's great that she has a passion about something, and it's a learning phase that kids must go through. We went through similar for with our older DS. He did computer science degree and masters, and recently joined Armed Forces to fulfill a personal goal. He's very smart, and is doing that as an "experience" for a few years. He was influenced growing up, as many of our extended family have a history in army/navy. There was nothing I could do to dissuade him. (I think) He does FULLY understand the career implications, but we'll see.

As a few other have suggested, I strongly recommend that your DD get some parttime work in the hospitality area. She'll need that to, as that is what she'll likely need to do for income, she'll get exposed to meeting people, the odd/uncertain hours and so on.

For our DS, the army equivalent was he worked on DF's farm all summer and holidays since being about 14.

Try make sure your DD has a backup plan, chances are she'll need it. Luckily my DS does have that.

Ultimately it is her life and her choice, not yours.

You said it yourself she is not academic and her strength is in being creative so maybe she is actually making the right choice.

In the late 80s my controlling mother meddled in my education to a point of irrational behaviour: she intercepted and destroyed responses to my university applications in the post and pretended to have fainting fits simply because I wanted to choose my own career (psychology) and where to study (a university that meant moving away from home).

Her destroying my applications and the constant emotional blackmail meant I ended up in a bog standard university doing a subject I did not like. I had a nervous breakdown in the second year and never finished that degree. I went back to university as a mature student to study something enjoyed. Here behaviour resulted in a life long estrangement with my parents.

This might be an extreme case but a cautionary tale: you can give your opinion and voice your concerns but never try to force your child to do study something they are simply not suited for.

There are many differed jobs in the entertainment world as people have already mentioned.

Focus on the bit where she said she doesn't want to be sitting behind a desk in an office all day and encourage that, rather than discouraging the acting.

She's got a very good point.

Encourage her. Lots of transferable skills from Drama. Relative did A level Theatre Studies. Lots of acting as youngster at school and Uni. Ended up as barrister.

I think you should encourage her, as long as she's taking it seriously. I have 3 family members who make a proper living out of acting, one makes serious money (has been third billing on successful movies with A list actors). They all treated it like a business from the first day, built relationships over years in theatre and film circles and were professional in every interaction. Noone in our family had been in film/tv/theatre before these 3 - they are all of the same generation. They worked really hard and made thselves easy to work with. I wish your daughter the best of luck!

My ds has his Extended Diploma in Music Performance and Production. He is absolutely following his dream to work in the music industry and we are fully supporting him. He studied at Lipa Sixth form college and they only take around a quarter of those who apply each year across all disciplines. It's a fantastic college but the standard is very high, the students are all extremely talented, with most having performed from a young age. It's a very competitive industry especially.

And, honestly, not everything should be judged by "how much money you make"

The Arts are as much about embracing and doing what you have a passion and love for

Make some money off it, great, but sometimes it's about enjoying life too

Thank you. That is good to know. Will see if DD has what it takes: effort, talent, connections, networking and luck.

If you are successful it could be great but if you are not you need a backup plan.

I agree but you need to make a living after all and a decent one or it could be hard; or treat it as a hobby