To discourage DD for a career in performing arts

[Masteringlife]

DD said she wants to go to a performing Sixth form; wants to be an actress, doesn’t want the normal office job of sitting in an office in front of a laptop all day.

I am in two minds whether to support or discourage it. It is a very competitive world and quite difficult to make a living. Perhaps encourage it as a hobby with another career on the side.

She is not ver academic and prefer creative activities and freedom.

Would be grateful for advice

Lovely to hear that, OP. I wish your daughter the best of luck!

I wanted to be a writer when I was your DD's age. That was ALL I wanted, most in the world. I ended up in publishing, which I adore with a passion, and have had stories of my own published too. Still need to write The Novel now the kids are growing. 😁 It's good to have dreams. Being supported by those nearest and dearest is so important!

My DSS is currently at drama school studying for a degree in stage and screen acting having done a btec in performing arts. We joke that he will either be the next Tom Holland or spend the rest of his life serving coffees. We don't know what his future holds and whether he will be able to make a successful career of it but it is his passion and he is absolutely loving his time at uni. I am happy that he is happy and I am sure he will find his way.

She s 14
One step at a time
If she gets into the sixth form she will hear about all of this
Encourage her to work hard to get good gcses English maths etc in any case so she has options and reiterate she will need a back up job when she's between any acting roles

@Phen0menon for all the reasons you have outlined, I kept my daughter in mainstream education. However she has been performing ever since she can express herself and I have been told by numerous outsiders in the industry that she is good.
We felt that as parents we will have failed if we don't support her in her dream. However, she is also doing an a academic AL in addition to a BTEC in MT to keep her options a little open. There is nothing stopping her getting further qualifications later on if she needs to and we are prepared to support her financially so she has a buffer.

I agree with @Phen0menon I have tried to steer my son away from the performing arts.

Low employment rate, very competitive etc.

I have said do it as a club if you want but don't pick your GCSEs/A levels on it. I personally think it's a waste of time.

I wanted to be an actress at this age too and doing a drama (and English) degree opened my eyes to all the other opportunities within the entertainment industry. I do now have a successful career in this field, not as an actor but in one of the roles that some people have suggested as a 'back up', which I found quite funny as it's equally as difficult and competitive and requires a combination of luck, skill and unwavering determination. It's an incredibly tough profession but I absolutely love my job and am so pleased that my parents supported my dream. Of the people I graduated with, a very tiny minority still work in film or theatre but all have great and wide ranging careers, as a result of desirable transferable skills.

I’ve make a living working in the Arts and yes it’s tough but it’s also brilliant. Most people that end up in the arts do not make megabucks but that’s not what it’s all about. At her age, I really wouldn’t worry but be clear, when it comes to picking up other roles though such as make up or set design or costume… These are all extremely competitive as well. Ai is changing everything now, if she can have a positive experience of education that is a good thing. Also imo anyone who wants to be a professional freelancer (which she probably would be) would do well to study business, marketing, that kind of thing.

OP most successful performers start as children. Jodie Comer and Nicola Coughlan for example. She's very unlikely to be successful if her plan is just 'performing arts 6th form'. Unless she's actively looking for roles and you're prepared to drive her all over the place for auditions?

However, as she's planning to go to university you have little to worry about. @Notmydaughteryoubitch FYI in 2024 a degree is a degree, many graduate schemes accept any subject. Performing Arts, History, it makes little difference.

These days so many graduates spend a few years travelling/doing all sorts of work before they get into a 'career' job so I really wouldn't worry too much.

We've got a few acting graduates among family/friends. One of them landed a role in an ITV production in her late twenties - her first after many years of bar work and audition. However it took her two tries to even pass the audition for drama school.

The others never really got anywhere and went into 'normal' jobs after a while. One in sales and I forgot the other.

I have an old school friend who has a son that is an actor.

She was always into amateur dramatics and is a good performer and actress.

He wants to pursue the dream of being an actor and is in his early twenties.

The things I've seen him in, he isn't any good. I would never tell her that though.

His mum and dad have had to financially carry him although he has taken low paid jobs in coffee shops whenever he can.

I just can't see a breakthrough happening foe him and his latest piece of work is a voice part foe an animated horror film that is in bad taste.

How long will he pursue his dreams for before giving it up?

He's nice looking but when you see there are thousands of good looking wannabes and for the most part it's who you know that gets you a step up in the business.

If your daughter is very good looking it's worth a try but personally I would emphasise that if she follows her dream she must have a back up plan and be willing to push herself in other areas of education to improve her lot.

There will be lots of related drama careers if that’s what she really wants to do, or it may become a lovely hobby. It’s an extremely sociable and rewarding passion to have and teaches all kinds of life skills.
My eldest was/is very musical but decided to have it as a hobby and works in a totally unrelated career ( banking )
Middle was always mad on drama and was in all of the school plays etc. Did it as one of his a levels but chose PPE to study at university. But he works overseas sort of drama related but behind the camera.
Youngest was talented sportsman but again has it as his hobby and works in unrelated job
I encouraged them all but privately knew they’d probably end up always being passionate about their interests as hobbies rather than careers

Which is fine as long as bank of mum and dad are not expected to fund it!

Universities probably don’t see it as a waste of time - one of mine did drama as one of his a levels and was accepted by Oxford university to do a PPE degree. That was 20 years ago though so things may have changed.

That's true - although it depends on what you mean by 'fund'.
I wouldn't consider living at home rent-free 'funding'. If you live in London (where most auditions are) this isn't an issue.
Degree - one in performing arts isn't worse than any other 'any degree' for jobs. A non-academic child is hardly going to get into an academic university anyway.

My daughter wanted to do musical theatre from 14. Graduated from ArtsEd aged 23. Had a few small jobs then COVID hit so she decided to do a law degree. Now doing very well as a trainee solicitor. Encourage her but make sure she gets her school exams so she has a back up. It's a tough life.

People think being successful in acting means being a famous millionaire. Lots of people make a living doing commercials or extra work, bit parts.

I went to acting school and had a decent career as a preformer.

There is always a huge demand for good make up artists in the wedding and events industry.

I think support her but also push the importance of the academic stuff particularly English and Maths - tell her that she might need a plan b or a day job as well as acting. You don't want her to develop a mindset of "I don't need maths". Getting some academic grades keeps more options open.

Thank you. I think I do need to educate her a bit on this; but will leave her dream for the moment, as she is only young; when she is a bit older she does need to start understanding all this.

Will support the Sixth Form college as she will learn other skills and I think she will enjoy it.

I mentioned the make up artist a few days ago and she said she would like that too.

My daughter loves performing arts and objectively is reasonably talented. Her theatre school has a very well regarded full time sixth form and I'm already sowing the seed now i won't support her leaving school and not doing her a levels (she's fairly academic too) but I'd totally support her doing their gap year course and seeing how that goes.

She's in adult am dram societies and sees the amazing locally talent we have and that it doesn't need to be a profession to still be worth all the training, she can keep doing it for fun and making friends wherever she goes.

To be honest, it really depends where she is now as far as skills. Those making it in theatre eg musicals will be very accomplished dancers and singers by 14, also good diction for acting. If thinking "serious" theatre then most will be getting in via university and connections there. For more general entertainment it's more concerning because it is more about who you know and looks.

My advice is whatever she does, have a plan b and i highly recommend qualifications at a standard 6th form not a private performing arts school as they sell a dream because it makes them money

I would support her. Far better that she should be doing something she enjoys rather than slogging away at stuff that bores her.

She is not burning her bridges, as long as there are other subjects ticking along as well. If she does not make it in acting, then this will be her only chance to just enjoy it for its own sake; and it will giver her confidence.

My 3 DDs have made careers in things that are not remotely related to their A-levels/degrees! So don't assume that this is her only path. Let her enjoy it, and you go along and enjoy her performances - something good for all the family!

And I strongly recommend joining a proper local theatre group attached to a local theatre, if it's a commissioning theatre even better (those that just host touring productions aren't always as good )

A few years ago I became deeply involved in Theatr Caerdroia (Labyrinth Theatre) . I quickly realised that I had finally found where I belonged , what I loved doing ; I had found my people .
I wish that I had known this when I was eighteen . I wish I had had the courage and insight to tell my parents what I wanted to do with my life rather than just 'get a sensible job until I had a husband and children' .
I'm too old and ill now to try it again but those few memories of facilitating , staging and performing et cetera are golden , and I'm so glad I did it .
I would let her try . If she fails she fails but if she's good at her craft she will have followed her dreams and she will thank you for it .

I only know of one person who has actually gone into the job that they said they wanted to do at that age, he was adamant from 11 that he wanted to be a pilot and he's been one his whole adult career.

Of all the other hundreds/thousands of people I've met, not one has stuck to what they wanted to do as a kid, sometimes even a mid 20s adult.

By the time she's early 20s the world will be a very different place so no point planning that far ahead. But I agree that teaching or make up artistry are likely options.

The only stage (sorry not sorry for the pun) I would be concerned is if she's basing a whole uni course around it. I knew a guy who was shoehorned into a set design degree - they flattered him a lot but it was to fill spaces for the course - and it was an absolute waste of time.