Uni flat dishes - who is in the wrong?

[Poiuytrewql]

DD is in her first year at a London Uni.

Her flatmates (and I’m sure DD) leave the sink full of dishes constantly. Not unsurprising. Student 1 made a bolognese and was going home for the weekend. The pan they washed got food bits and fat over the dishes that were left in the sink. Student 2 found this foul and printed off a note and stuck it to the door reprimanding this behaviour.

I believe my daughter is in the right but dh thinks she is not. Not sure if my bias for my child is clouding my judgement.

Who is in the wrong?

I think the one who at least did their washing up, did nothing wrong. The ones who left their dirty dishes in the sink would surely wash them in clean water eventually anyway and not in the stagnant water they'd left them in? Neither is exactly the crime of the century and I can't quite work out why anyone would be wanting to fall out with their flatmates this early in the year.

I really don't miss these days, this is very minor in the grand scheme of some of the things that happened. I'd ignore, it just escalates otherwise.

What else would she have washed it in? A second sink that doesn’t exist?

Passive aggressive cleaning rota needed, one feels...

My DD went to a uni in Scotland and was literally 18 years one week old and was over 300 miles away, so I understand it's hard to let go, but I think meant out of it and let your DD pick her own arguments (although I would say flatmate 2 was in the wrong). Sadly it's part of uni life, but over the next year or so your DD will come across many people from all walks of life. Next year, it'll either work with her current flatmate - it not, she'll have met others on her course, through clubs or just talking to others of friends and have many other people around her who are similarly minded. Wasn't always easy at uni, but DD survived and is quite a feisty thing when she really needs to be.

This is why it's a very bad idea to have first year students living in shared self-catered accommodation.

@Ceramiq Catered accommodation then? My DD here in the US was in shared accommodation with a meal plan for various dining halls around the campus. A meal plan was required for all first-year students.

We had to pay for it and she didn't like it much. She'd have preferred to make her own food and is v. relieved that she now can!

They're all.slobs and should clean up after themselves.

Why do you even know about this? I can't imagine bringing my parents into this argument. Tell her it's up to her to resolve it like a grown up?

She washed the pan

She didn't wash up everyone else's dirty plates

She told them about it

She didn't bring them into the argument

I see all the snarky ones are out again

Yep, the scutter that left the dishes in the sink has got what they deserved.

Both my dc have been through uni and come home really depressed some weekends due to their housemates inability to clean up after themselves.

Dd lived with four other females with long hair, and you can imagine the state of the shower trap. Every week she would take it out, take it apart and clean it because nobody else did. One week she removed it from the shower, took it apart and left it in the sink to make a point (and hope someone else would take the hint and clean it out). They didn't- they just put the damn thing back together and put it back in the shower.

DS used to get home last each evening, and every night the hob would be covered in dirty pots, sink full of dirty dishes, so he'd have to clear everything before attempting to cook anything. To finish the year in style, they all moved out a week before him because he was on placement, and left the house a disgusting tip. We did our best to get it sorted on the hottest day of the year, and sent before and after photos to the landlord, who withheld the other deposits (serves them right)

People who leave dishes in the sink, effectively preventing anyone else from using the sink and washing up, are absolute dicks. Your DD is not in the wrong, her flatmates need to stop being lazy and tidy up after themselves.

She did the right thing unless there was a second pots&pans sink with no dirty dishes in it that she could have used. I don’t think that is likely as you usually only find multiple sinks in stately homes.

Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying. Student 2 sounds like a CF (and lazy) and obviously your daughter is right to wash up her dishes after cooking. But do you mean she left a load of other students’ dirty stuff in the washing up bowl as she did so? How do you even wash up like that? I would automatically move all the other stuff to a worktop out of my way first? Not to try to help Student 2 - just so that I had space and could actually get my own dishes clean?

Just support her to come up with some basic house rules with the people she's sharing with: number 1 - wash up after yourself ASAP after using pans/plates

That's gross but the one person who did their dishes is definitely not in the wrong. The rest sound filthy scruffs.

(🤫I may have emptied the contents of the kitchen sink in to the bin one Xmas Eve pre covid as I was that fed up of it being full of filthy dishes. Our cleaning lady could never get into the sink to fill her bucket up and she had to carry a bucket of water from a maintenance room in the basement.)

How did she wash them and put the bits on the other items because any proper way of washing up wouldn’t do so

but it sounds fairly normal for halls of residenxe

@EPankhurst

yes, but that wasn't the question 🙄 & it's not me leaving dishes in the sink