Uni flat dishes - who is in the wrong?

[Poiuytrewql]

DD is in her first year at a London Uni.

Her flatmates (and I’m sure DD) leave the sink full of dishes constantly. Not unsurprising. Student 1 made a bolognese and was going home for the weekend. The pan they washed got food bits and fat over the dishes that were left in the sink. Student 2 found this foul and printed off a note and stuck it to the door reprimanding this behaviour.

I believe my daughter is in the right but dh thinks she is not. Not sure if my bias for my child is clouding my judgement.

Who is in the wrong?

If your daughter is the one who left the pans that's vile. Unless she did the cooking for everyone in which case the note maker is weird.

Really they all need to agree to just wash whatever is in the sink and have a rota

I think they should all wash up their own things straight away.

However, the student who washed up is in the right.

Notes on the door are rude and they should have a conversation.

At the end of the day though it’s all about growing up and learning to live with other people.

Her birth month is nothing to do with it

Student 1 washed their dishes = correct.
Student 2 didn't wash their dishes = incorrect
Student 2 moaned that mucky washing up water ended up on their already dirty dishes = bizarre
Student 2 wrote snotty note = the cheek!

I can only assume that S2's stuff was just mugs and toast plates so they must have been a bit grim when coated with cold, greasy water, but they wouldn't have a leg to stand on in a court of law.

I presume your DD is student 1.

Nor is your or her proximity to Eurostar

Both in the wrong. Student 1 being scruffy, student 2 printing a note like school. Can't they just have a conversation.

All seems immature, if she's washing her pan which resulted in other items getting covered in her dirty water then the decent thing to do is wash those up. They are all having to live together and literally only just started term- not a good way to start.

I agree if they're living together they need to speak to each other

Please don’t infantilise your daughter because she was born in August. I went to university at 17 (skipped a year) and it never crossed my mind to bring this up in debates over household chores!!! She’s an adult now - time for you to step away and let her work this out.

Student 2.

Student 2 is in the wrong.

I think we used to pile other flatmates' crockery etc on the side in order to wash our own things.

I'm not sure anyone who leaves dirty plates in a sink can complain if someone else makes them more dirty. They need to wash their plates!

It's quite early for students to be at uni, isn't it?

Aaagh, the stroppy notes, the petty squabbles - I’ve just had a horrible flashback to my flat-sharing years 😱

Which one is your daughter?

And if the dishes in the sink were dirty I don’t get the issue?

I suspect they’re annoyed OP’s dd didn’t wish their plates (and good on her for not doing so).

My son started this week, he is staying at home but most of his friends have moved in the last week or so.

Whoever left the dirty dishes in the sink is wrong.

You cook your food and leave the cooking pans/utensils neatly stacked whilst you eat your meal and then you immediately wash the whole lot up. No need for anyone to be hogging a sink by leaving their dirty dishes in the way of other people.

Oh right. My older son is well beyond uni and the other is yr11 so I don't know what's really, I just know that the few freshers I know are heading away this w/e.

DD started this weekend just gone. DS moves back in next weekend. It's usually this point in September.

They're all being exceptionally thick. If they scraped food residue into the bin, then left the washing up beside the sink, then people could do bits of washing up as and when it suits them, without it affecting anyone else.
... and it has the added benefit that doing it this way stops the water from the tap hitting the dirty stuff every time its turned on, and therefore prevents a fine spay of dirty water flying up to coat the clean stuff on the draining board.
... and it's less smelly, because the dirty plates aren't sitting in a rising pool of filthy water.
Drives me mad when MIL stacks used stuff in our sink.

It’s going to be a long 3 years if this is the drama in the first weeks 😂😂

Student who washed their dish and went home did nothing wrong. Sure they could have taken the dirty dishes out of the sink first but I wouldn’t want to handle someone else’s minging plates. Those leaving theirs in the sink without washing them up are unreasonable nevermind then thinking they can complain