Uni flat dishes - who is in the wrong?

[Poiuytrewql]

DD is in her first year at a London Uni.

Her flatmates (and I’m sure DD) leave the sink full of dishes constantly. Not unsurprising. Student 1 made a bolognese and was going home for the weekend. The pan they washed got food bits and fat over the dishes that were left in the sink. Student 2 found this foul and printed off a note and stuck it to the door reprimanding this behaviour.

I believe my daughter is in the right but dh thinks she is not. Not sure if my bias for my child is clouding my judgement.

Who is in the wrong?

Student 1 is in the right for cleaning up after themselves.

Student 2 should wash their dishes and put them away more promptly if they don’t want them to be covered in washing up debris. Student 2 won’t be very popular leaving such notes.

I think you both have a lot to learn about student accommodation.

1. no one will wash up
2. people will steal each others plates because they have no clean ones
3. if one person decides they can’t stand it and washes everything to be kind, they won’t be thanked and it won’t make any difference
4. the kitchen will be rancid for the full year until they move out and professional cleaners move in - mouldy bread, burnt pans, disgusting fridge, fat on the hob.

My advice would be to tell your daughter to chill because nothing she (I mean student 2) will do will make a blind bit of difference. she should keep her plates and cutlery in her room and bring one plate out at a time, wash it and return it to her room. She will be living in a den of filth until next May.

Finally, don’t share with boys in year two. (Obviously someone is going to come along and tell me how their DS did all the washing for the whole house and hoovered up every morning before lectures).

I am now remembering with a shudder the takeaways I bought during uni days just to avoid having to cope with the pile of dishes left in the sink and all the pans used up and food-encrusted, left on the cooker by flatmates.

I think the one who left the dishes in the sink is marginally worse but neither is really pulling out all the stops on the domestic front.

Both should just get studio flats asap.

Student 1 is right - they needed to use the sink, they did so. Student 2 is wrong - so no one else is meant to use the sink because your lazy a** can't wash up after yourself?

Not sure which your DD is :|

Aah, uni days!

The one who CBA to wash up as they go should buy themselves a(n extra) washing up bowl. Then they can leave their crockery in their bowl but not blocking the sink for everybody else to use, and have their precious plates free from bolognese washings (which admittedly are the most "contaminatey" of all - the fat and tomato seems to stick to everything, and to dye everything it sticks to!).

Or just learn their lesson and wash up as they go, like a considerate adult in a house share.

It's going to be a long few years for you OP if you get invested in all these issues.

This is standard behavior for uni students.

I would feel suffocated if my Mother obsessed over the minutiae of my life

@alpacachino

Nope, that idea can get in the bin. I wouldn't be be washing up other peoples bolognaise dishes for them, when I've got a knife. Fork. Salad bowl! Wash up your own manky dishes!

@jen337 , if OP want to mention that her daughter is at a London uni, then she's asking for it.

Well fortunately we are not all like you.

You do you and let the OP post what she wants to post. It is a free country.

110 people have responded so they all find the thread interesting.

You don't have to read, let alone respond. Go away.

@Poiuytrewql antisocial how? What does your DH think she should have done?

I think they should all grow up, stop being scuzzballs and wash up immediately after the meal

Student 2 is wrong. Wash your shit up and there is no problem.

I have form for writing "fuck off" on those kind of notes. Or burning them.

Another vote for why do you care op?!

Student 2 shouldn't leave dirty dishes in the sink if she's so precious about them. They're both going to have a wake up call if this is the kind of shit fucking them off already. The absolute state of some of my friends uni halls were atrocious. I lucked out and ended up with 3 out of 4 girls who were tidy and clean so our flat was always spotless (apart from the first weekend we had an open door party and the 4th girl didn't want anything to do with us but left us a shitty note about not leaving a mess in communal areas). Oh boy the fun we had with her if she even dared leave a crumb in the kitchen after that 😂

Student 2 can’t find the time to wash their own dishes but can find the time to write a ridiculous note?

Dont want your dishes covered in food bits? Well don’t put them in the sink then! Student 1 either had to wash up over them or touch other people’s dirty dishes themselves.

I find piles of dirty dishes to be stomach churning. There is really no excuse for not washing them right away. It takes less than 10 minutes. At the very least, rinse well, fill the sink with hot water & fairy and let them soak.

Dealing with others' food prep, haphazard food storage/dirty refrigerator, food odours, dirty dishes and mingingness is one reason I sacrificed a lot of other things in order to live alone when young. Ugh.

Housemate who left dirty dishes in the sink shouldn’t have done that.

Housemate who washed her own pan was in the right.

Both are in the wrong.

One should clean up after himself and the other should use their mouth and words rather than childish passive aggressive notes.

Student 2 IBU. Maybe they’ll use it as a lesson to wash their dishes in the future. Grim.

So she’s in the right. She washed her dishes rather than leaving them to stink and be revolting over the weekend. The ones in the wrong are the lazy f**kers who dump their dishes in the sink. When I was at uni, they’d have been unceremoniously tipped onto the floor/balcony/garden/into the respective students’ rooms.

Antisocial is leaving dishes in the sink.

One thing I remember learning at uni is that dishes can grow interesting mould.

Especially ones that have had bake beans or tuna in.

they should each have a washing up bowl and put their unwashed crap in their own one.

If you leave your dirty dishes in the sink. Expect them to be dirty when others wash their stuff.

@TherapistInATabard

ptesumably he thinks either a) she could have washed up all the dishes

or

b) she could have removed their belongings before washing up a bolognaise pan & covering their dishes in meat, tomato & grease.

I do see his pov, BUT if she starts off doing that. She's going to be doing all the dishes for a year!

she needs to tell S2 to get herself a washing up bowl to put her dishes in & leave the sink empty for others to use!