Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

You're completely wrong, and displaying an overwhelming lack of understanding of social determinants of health.

My friend is super slim. Her mum was the same, she eats more than me but really struggles to put any weight on.
My friend is also very attractive and successful.

Over the last thirty years I cannot tell you the amount of time people have sidled up to me and started a conversation all so they can bring it round to the question ‘ does she actually eat?’
Honestly, it’s vile and it’s comes from a place of real meanness.

Cheap food tends to be shit food. Try cooking low UPF food with plenty of fresh veg, fruit, healthy proteins…it’s more expensive, also often more time consuming.

It’s definitely a thing. When I was about 22 I was at work as a nurse and a covering doctor who I had not met before came to the ward, he randomly asked me in front of about 5 colleagues if I had anorexia , I said no, he asked me if I was sure about that. I told him I am sure I did not have anorexia. He then told me that I must be ill then and to go and see my doctor. I was utterly mortified and shocked and my colleagues were too.

it’s also alarming as a doctor should know anorexia is a mental illness and not a body type

I have also been told I am painfully thin.
Told I need to go and eat a burger.
When I commented on it being cold at work I was told that it’s not cold and I just need meat on my bones. (It was cold)

Disagree. Valerian Levitin's death didn't exactly get a public announcement for good reason.

But obesity is still statistically the bigger issue health wise.

There's also the effect of stress and insecure working patterns along with the emotional impact of scarcity, loads and loads of contributory factors of which that poster is completely unaware.

@ImFckingMattDamon no, my legs have always been the same, perhaps a little thinner since I stopped doing gymnastics in my late teens, but that was mainly my thighs.

I get told my legs are like twiglets and that I have knobbly knees, and that I will end up with bow legs when I'm older due to them bending and 'trying not to snap' which was a common Insult at college.

I am just normal, I'm not too thin, not fat. Quite petite naturally but in no way near 'too thin.' I weigh 9 stone 4, so a healthy weight for my height. :)

Please tell me you immediately told people you have cancer and the chemo affects your weigh. They would feel utter shame

(Im only posting these as posters have asked if im under weight or of my legs are skinny)

They are small, for sure. But not underweight.

Pretty much all women, of every size and degree of attractiveness, receive judgement and criticism of their appearance.

So yes, slim women are judged and insulted and spoken about with cruelty and insensitivity.

Fat women get all of that, plus systemic discrimination.

None of it is OK. Nor are the two things equal.

The OP has made it clear that she wanted a thread about slim women being victimised by fat women, and that in her opinion slim women are virtuous while fat women have made terrible choices and want to terrorise the slim women of whim they are jealous. So she wanted to start a thread about how terrible weight-based prejudice is while reinforcing the dominant weight-based prejudice that society has.

No, you're projecting.

Probably a fair amount of envy involved OP, in the nastiness you have experienced.

I think shaming is the wrong word because skinny is the ideal.

I was teased at school for being a bean pole and had letters home about being underweight etc but I don’t I would compare that to the bullying some of the bigger kids got.

Over the last thirty years I cannot tell you the amount of time people have sidled up to me and started a conversation all so they can bring it round to the question ‘ does she actually eat?’ Honestly, it’s vile and it’s comes from a place of real meanness

I ended up in the fashion industry and it was startling how many very slim women just didn’t eat.

I hear you OP - I’ve had it all my life: been told I’m not a real woman because I have small boobs. Told I look disgusting. Told I am androgynous and less than. Usually by mad crash dieters who are obsessed with weight rather than fat people per se.
But fat people get judged to heck - have a colleague who is very overweight and no one says anything (well one or two) but there are looks when she struggles on the stairs. And she gets criticised for being ‘lazy’ in a way that has made me think people judge her character by her weight.
Neither are good - I think what drives it is obsession with weight which is shit for all.

No, I'm reading.

And projecting.

I probably had more men than women tell me I was skinny so I don’t think it’s just a female thing.

I’m very slim. It’s constant snide comments about me ‘looking in need of a good meal’ (even though I eat loads), ‘not being able to see you when you stand sideways’, comments about ‘flat chests’, being told I ‘need a bit of meat on me’ - pretty constant passive aggressive comments about ‘are you feeling ok?’, comments on my lunch and so on.

Now, try reversing/amending all those to make them aimed at fat people. Do people really tell fat people they need to lose weight to their face? That they should miss meals? That they look fat? That they wouldn’t fit through a door unless they turned sideways, etc etc?

All personal comments are wrong, but some people do think it’s ok to make them about thin people whereas they wouldn’t about fat people.

Oh and I’ve put on weight due to 3rd difficult pregnancy, illness & medication & I would rather be slim!

Yes, people say all those things and more to fat people and about fat people.

No she looks absolutely normal.
We're just conditioned into accepted obesity as normal.

I gave DD a pair of my jeans the other day, a size 10 when I bought them. . 10 years ago? She's a size 6 by today's standards and they fit her hips and waist perfectly.

Also I'm sure OP really appreciates youre proving her point. Her entire medical team consider her to be absolutely fine. But sure. You know better.

Now, try reversing/amending all those to make them aimed at fat people. Do people really tell fat people they need to lose weight to their face? That they should miss meals? That they look fat? That they wouldn’t fit through a door unless they turned sideways, etc etc?

Of course they do, why wouldn’t they?!

@TinyRowboats that was not my aim at all, I apologise if it came across that way, but that's vastly incorrect. I haven't made a thread to degrade or prejudice any fat or obese people. I was simply stating my experiences and how it seems to be accepted, again from my experiences.

Skinny isn't ideal. A healthy weight based on the individual is ideal.

No she looks absolutely normal.
We're just conditioned into accepted obesity as normal.

I disagree with this message, people say it all the time though. We know what slim is & we know what fat is. Most public in the public eye are very slim so I’m not sure what message is distorted. I remember Kate Moss causing a huge wave of criticism re her slimness & she did stand out amongst other models, but most celebs look like her today.