Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

I've been skinny and I've been fat.

No one should be bullied because of their body; nobody should make snide comments about another person's body.

But having lived in a fat body and in a skinny one the shit that fat people (and indeed people who aren't fat but just aren't especially slim) is SIGNIFICANTLY worse and more prolific.

Skinny privilege is very real. When I was very slim (5ft 11, size 8/10, very athletic compared to a size 18/20 at my biggest) I was treated so much better in almost every interaction with stranger and, frankly, among lots of colleagues and acquaintances. Fat people are the but of jokes in a way slim people aren't. Fat people are humiliated left right and centre for just trying to live in a bigger body (can't buy clothes in high street shops, getting photographed as a joke while at the gym or running etc ). Those are not things that people with a the "cultural ideal" of a slim body face.

So you're not being unreasonable to say people need to stfu about your size. You are, however, being very unreasonable to frame this as being equal to fat shaming as it simply isn't

My friend's DD was bullied out of school because she was underweight. They called her an Ethiopian!

Skinny isn't ideal. A healthy weight based on the individual is ideal.

I think the media still sends the message that skinny is idea. I’m talking under BMI or the lower end.

@JustFrustrated

Thank you. ❤️

I do agree with your point about obesity being normalised, which perhaps makes people think people like I are underweight. 68% or 63% from what I remember are overweight so it has been normalised for sure.

So that's makes skinny shaming okay? 😒

You've said that fat people have a problem with slim people, you've implied fat people shouldn't suffer from discrimination because as the majority they can all just stick together and you've said the majority of fat people are fat because of their bad choices.

You have only acknowledged slim women's experiences of body shaming, and not made any acknowledgement whatsoever of the painful experiences recounted by or about fat people. This minimises the experience of prejudice fat people have shared here, only elevating the experience slim women have had.

You have discussed the reasons that slim people are slim but not engaged at all with any ideas about weight gain beyond saying it's due to individual choice 'except for medical conditions' despite there being many other factors at play.

I don't know how you expect it to come across in any other way?

Obesity isn’t normalised, there has just been a message of not hiding away etc

But it's not a race to the bottom. It's not worse for fat people because they're fat.

I often walk into shops and have to order online because they don't stock a size 6 or 8, as obesity has been normalised.

No one should be bullied or shamed. One isn't worse than the other. But I am noticing that (some!!!) obese people race to the bottom and think they are worse off. I think the insults are pretty on par with each other. Both are wrong. So very wrong.

Oh do piss off.

I did not say anything offensive. But respectfully, I recognise that is a low weight but as I said previously, explained by cancer treatment.

OP has said she is 5'5" and 9st 4lb, that is not underweight.

YANBU OP, it's beyond tedious.

I often walk into shops and have to order online because they don't stock a size 6 or 8, as obesity has been normalised.

🙄

I do agree with you but I think ideal is whatever the standard of beauty at the time is, which is constantly shifting for women in particular. At one time (think flappers) having a boyish body was ideal. Move up to the current era and having a big bum and thighs is ideal. Basically I think it’s nobody’s business to comment on someone’s body, and having these transient ideals is really hard on women’s self esteem.

Another one deliberately taking me out of context.

@TinyRowboats I haven't acknowledged what fat people go through, as this is a thread about me being skinny shamed. If I was fat, and went through the same, I'd probably start a thread on that too.

There are way more fat people in the world than skinny people. That's a fact. I'm trying to say that we are not some weird anomaly who don't eat and sniff lettuce every 3-5 business days, and I was trying to explain that slim people can be tormented and bullied just as much. Both are experiences are valid, both need to stop. I've said on this thread a number of times that NO ONE should have comments made about their weight. That includes fat or obese.

I do agree with your point about obesity being normalised, which perhaps makes people think people like I are underweight. 68% or 63% from what I remember are overweight so it has been normalised for sure.

Obesity & overweight are not the same though.

?? That's my experience? I've never tried shopping for larger clothes so I wouldn't know.

I was actually thinking about this the other day! I'm like you OP, skinny my whole life - both my parents are so it's just genetics. I've come across the comments 'you're basically like a stick and you'll get blown away in the wind, you're cold because you're too skinny' but I never actually thought of them as bullying (just didn't make the connection. After your post I'm starting to think differently). What I was starting to feel uncomfortable about were the comments from people who are bigger or people that have openly been on diets saying 'omg you're so lucky, you can eat whatever you want' 'omg your (pregnancy) bump is so perfect you haven't gained weight anywhere' like ALL THE TIME. And I always feel awkward responding to that? If I say 'I know' I sound like a gloating dick so I would just start explaining myself and saying oh it doesn't mean I'm healthy, can't even run for the bus without being out of breath and try turn it in to a joke... but why? And for further context I still feel insecure even though I'm a size 4. I have no boobs or butt or whatever the beauty standard is these days. Being slim is not the compliment people think it is.

Eh?

Oh and as for 'you can walk into a shop and buy your size ' this isn't true. Some shops only stock their items in 10-14 in my area, the odd 8 but not many. The nearest next buys only 1 of everything in a 6 so I can rarely shop there anyway - when I inquired the assistant said they hardly sell any so stock very few are ordered.

I'm petite 5'3 weigh 8.5 stones , if I go any lower I look skinny , at this weight I'm curvy for my frame. I could eat the crap that overweight people tend to and pile on the pounds but I eat properly and go the gym. I just don't give them headspace they have enough going on trying to work out how to still eat rubbish and lose weight or inject with the new fad. 👀
I also know how I'd rather look and I'm not at risk of a heart attack neither.
Not saying this is all
Overweight people , just the ones who feel it's ok to comment , but you're not allowed to say anything back.

But your opening post compares the experience of fat and thin women. So you brought the idea of fat shaming in from the start; this has not at any point been a thread about skinny shaming in isolation. You introduced the comparison, and your opening post cast fat people as tormentors and slim people as victims. Which might well be your personal experience, but completely ignores the whole of society and all of our social structures and hierarchies. And therefore comes across as very blinkered, very ignorant and very much an expression of exactly the attitudes you're professing to condemn.

I agree with you that women shouldn't be insulted or mocked or judged for their bodies in any case, but you are pretending that two unequal things are the same and that's perpetuating the problem.

People are utterly vile to skinny women.
The things I’ve had said to me have really knocked my self-esteem. I’ve been naturally slim my entire life and at times I’ve tried to eat VERY unhealthily to gain weight to prevent the nasty comments, but it’s never worked.

HOWEVER, when I think of the women who have made the nasty comments I wouldn’t swap body’s with them IYSWIM. I’m glad I’m the shape I am.

Read the full comment I made

I was always slim and have never been bullied or skinny shamed. I cannot relate to your post at all .

I haven't read the whole thread.
I have always been very slim. Skinny as a child, periods of being underweight as an adult.
I have never, ever been bullied for this or any other reason.
Bullying is always wrong. I think there are other factors involved, but being slim itself does not immediately make someone a target for bullying or skinny shaming (I hate that term).

I have been told "there's nothing of you", and "oh you slimmed right down after pregnancy" and "you've got a runner's physique" and "no wonder you don't last long in the lake" - none of which are bullying, just comments - some less welcome than others. And to be clear, this isn't very often, as I don't hang out with people who bang on about their bodies.

The only time I can recall being insulted is when someone asked if I was consciously trying to lose weight after the birth of my son, as if I was prioritising being really thin. It just made me feel like she thought I was really shallow. I was confident enough to know the problem was with her, not me.