Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

Actually, depends on the shop. At my slimmest, I was a size 4. I assure you, there weren't many options for me as a 4'11" size 4 woman.

Now I'm a 4'11" size 18 and I certainly have more options.

Well, it doesn't appear equal from the replies. I don't see the same judgemental assumptions being made about slim women or see all of society's problems being laid at their door. I see some cruel comments and some bullying, which happens across the spectrum to many people based on different physical attributes. But I don't see the same condemnation, the same moral panic or the same dehumanisation taking place on a wide scale. I don't see that slim women are widely considered stupid, selfish, disgusting and immoral the way that fat people are. There is a real difference in the way slim and fat people are perceived and treated, certainly in the way they're written about on this forum. That's not to say slim women should be fair game for unkindness, but we are talking about very different scales.

“Walk into any shop and find clothes your size”. Quite a few ladies clothes shop/online shops start at size 10 these days. I am a size 8.
Yes OP, you spot on. I can’t believe some of the comments on this thread- but they show you are right!

This.

It's rife on Mumsnet too. Just look at the second reply on here - suggesting that it is unreasonable to complain about it because fat people get it in the neck a magnitude of times more.

There aren't many clothes places, I can go to! I end up in the child's section because lots of shops don't cater for 4/2/0 but there are plus size shops or everyday shops that easily go up to 24.

There are many plus size influencers, models etc. Due to the body positivity movement.. which ironically only about plus size people.

So I disagree there is skinny privilege

It is a non issue for you. I found it an issue, especially when I was younger, and unpleasant things were said to me, because I happened to be very slim. Speak for yourself, only.

I suppose that’s why people think it’s perfectly ok to skinny shame. Like the poster above who thought it was totally fine if multiple people said to someone that they needed to eat more because they look skinny and would be ‘concerned about their health’. Imagine the uproar if it was the other way and lots of people said to an overweight person they should lose weight- no one would think, oh that’s fine for you all to say that to them, you’re concerned about their health. They would say mind your own business. And rightly so. But that should be the same for skinny people do. Don’t comment on their bodies, tell them to eat more, call them anorexic etc. it’s just as unacceptable as fat shaming, despite what goes on in the media/fashion world

Thanks for your faux concern, but I'm not underweight, thanks. I am under and have been under a medical team, including dieticians, for the best part of 6 years due to my cancer and I am very proud that I've managed to maintain my weight.

I and they would know if I was underweight.

I am just small naturally, not gaunt, thanks.

I attracted more negative comments as the latter. If anything obese people enjoy a certain privilege

I do agree that people don't often say very nasty things openly to obese people, apart from rude teenage boys and men in vans, but in terms of social shame and disapproval, it's much higher.

With being slim, people do feel they can comment on it precisely because it is more valued than being fat. 'The wind will blow you away' or 'how are you so thin' are the type of comments you might get which are half a mixture of 'skinny shaming' and half admiration.

I've been both, had more comments in general whilst skinny, both good and bad, but much much easier to live your life as a skinny/slim woman than as an obese one (IMO).

'
This! I even used to get people shouting anorexic at me at school and I would just shrug it off and think well I look better than you. Skinny is the ideal surely?! Do you not like being skinny?'

@DurbevillesGirl

I like my figure, i don't like being insulted, basically being told I'm neglecting my unborn baby, and my clothes being taken away from me in a school changing room. But I guess that's all okay, because I like being skinny.

Surely you must realise that not everyone is happy with being shamed for their body size? It’s not hard to grasp.

some overweight people are happy with their figure. Some aren’t. Some skinny people are happy with their figure. Some aren’t. It’s very simple- don’t comment on anyone’s figure. It’s offensive to both fat and skinny people to have unkind remarks about their weight

I don't think anyone is saying 'it's ok' and I think having gone through your illness, that's a double-layer of horribleness that anyone would say that to you.

I don't think it's the same as living in an obese body, but that doesn't make it not hurtful.

I don't think it's ok at all, I don't think anyone should be commenting on the weight of others EVER and I tell my children that. No comments like that on women's bodies are necessary. I do agree we are not public property to be commented on.

Ways I’ve been shamed for being slim (off the top of my head):

being told I’m attention seeking for taking up pole dancing as a hobby.
being accused of trying to “steal” people’s husbands (no thanks, one husband is more than enough for me).
having inappropriate comments/ being inappropriately touched by men and told I’ve “brought it on myself” simply for existing (to the point of literal sexual assault).
being shouted at in front of a party full of people for wearing shorts on a hot day by a complete stranger.
having bitchy comments made behind my back because I’m wearing a short dress or shorts.
being told by work colleagues that they need to “fatten me up”.
people asking me if my boobs are fake because they should be small.

All of these things have happened to me only this summer.

'
It is true.

You said skinny shaming is so accepted - it's not. Nothing that happened to you is acceptable.

But you can still walk into any shop and buy clothes in your size. You are still - overall - more highly regarded in this, slim loving society than a fat person.

So regardless of how horrible your experiences were/are - and they are absolutely horrible and unacceptable - I still absolutely believe your place in society is higher than a fat person because of your thin privilege. Scroll through a Vogue magazine or watch a runway show and you will see women even thinner than yourself being held aloft as icons of fashion.'

@WickedStepmotherWasJustMisunderstood

Most of the U.K. population are fat or obese. There's more of them, they can stick together and stick up for themselves then. By a lot of posters analogy on this thread. How can the minority be at a privilege.

Respectfully, I disagree.

The whole idea of "skinny privilege" lies in the idea of "sexual desirability" or "workplace competence".

I can only say that having been a victim.at both weights of such nonsense, why are we even suggesting that that weight has much to do with? Purely anecdotal from me, but if anything, larger ladies are considered more competent as considered older for a starts.

I truly think there is a projection going on from the larger camp and it needs to stop. I cannot feel sympathy with those who would inflict the same pain on others.

Bullying is bullying. No matter which end hour weight is. The insults at me definitely aren't 'less loaded' just because I'm at the lower end of the BMI scale than most of the population.

There's a genuine issue in the way women's bodies are viewed as public property, and the ways in which patriarchal beauty standards harm us all whatever our size. But there's some real wilful ignorance here about how that manifests to all women, slim or otherwise, all of whom will receive negative feedback on their appearance for all and any reasons, and then the deeply held societal prejudice which makes people ascribe a lot of unrelated negative qualities to fat people in a way that doesn’t happen to slim women. And there are a lot of replies which are massively missing the point.

It's the snide comments like 'You need a good meal' or 'It's OK for people like you who are naturally skinny'. I used to get loads of it. I'm now 11 stone and 5'6" and referred to as skinny still. Hardly. Slim maybe.

I'd never ever comment on weight on anybody.

OP, I don't think you are underweight or 'skinny'. I think you look fine. Good luck with your chemo x

You think older and/or fatter women are given more respect and considered more competent in the workplace? I can only assume you live in a parallel universe! Middle-aged women are written off all over the place, not valued for their wisdom and experience at all!

This was for @nosmartphone

As I said, anecdotal.

Ime, younger, shorter, thinner women were considered....not as competent.

Why did you quote the whole OP?

Billionaires are a minority; I'd say they're still pretty privileged.