Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

I care because it hurts, I care because it makes me feel like shit.

But I'm not meant to care, because I'm slim.

Horrible as it sounds you're not meant to care because of resilience.

@TinyRowboats

You've had your knickers in a twist since my very first post. You time and time again cherry pick and twist my words. There have been many times where I've offered sympathy to others. Whether that be fat shaming or thin shaming. You are quite frankly lying at this point. I brought up the fact that I was surprised to see how many brits were overweight in Spain, because it was an observation I made. The thread was talking about contributes to why the population is fat in the U.K., so I mentioned what I observed in another country.

And I haven't accused anyone of being a fat bully on here what are you on about 😂😂 I said 'maybe you're one of the ones who bullied me at school.' Heavily emphasis on the word MAYBE.

You've proven my point as to why I started the thread. You can't say a damn word about the other end of the spectrum, but the people getting skinny shamed and bullied have to put up and shut up and can't even say the word 'jealous' without being 'called out.' Stop being so desperate to get a 'gotcha moment' - and before you say (again and again) 'fat people get called out on a daily' - SO DO SKINNY PEOPLE.

Stop cherry picking and twisting my words to suit hour own narrative. I won't be responding to someone with such selective empathy. That's a really horrible trait to have.

Why does that only apply to slim people?

It doesn't at all. It applies to everyone remarkable, and I mean remarkable as in someone that people will comment on.

But I'm not meant to care, because I'm slim

I am slightly taller than you and possibly slightly slimmer at a size 6.

What sort of people do you mix with? I have never been skinny shamed in my life. Like a pp, people do mention that I am slim or small but I am compared to many women I am. I don’t take offence.

I've been remarkably small for my entire life, I can't imagine how shit my life would have been if I hadn't come to terms with that because it's commented on daily, jokingly by friends, less jokingly by others, some people use it as an excuse to physically bully me (my red line)

But comments, they'll never stop, and you learn to deal with them, not always just roll over either, if someone's being genuinely rude I can normally turn it back on them but the snide day to day shit has to just run off or you go mental with it

There's no such thing as 'just stating facts' or 'sharing observations' - in human conversation, there is always an intention @chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice and there is a reason that what you observe is fat people existing and want to draw attention to it.

I haven't suggested that slim people should put up and shut up about being shamed, not at all. I've been sympathetic to thin people sharing their experiences. I'm not selective with my empathy, and I have found some of the posts about thin shaming really illuminating - I actually think this thread has challenged some of my preconceptions and definitely my feelings about it now are different from my initial instinctive reaction when I first read it. In contrast, you seem to have doubled down and got more entrenched in your viewpoint.

There's a difference between making an observation ("you're really thin") and using it as an insult, though ("you look like a skeleton, ugh").

I think how upsetting it is depends on your state of mind and health too.

When I was at school and had my thin wrists grabbed and mocked by bullies, I was so embarrassed and scared. When stressed at uni, I hated the ‘famine victim’ comments. Now in my fifties, I couldn’t give a shit about negative comments as I am much more robust. My fragile and physically unwell and thin 20y old girl is crushed by the nasty comments. Just telling her to be more resilient doesn’t cut it.

What do you suggest then?

What's more likely to happen, people stop being people, or an individual learning to cope with people?

And no it's not as simple as "be more resilient" the strategies you learn and adopt are what gives you the resilience.

Wise strategy, Life is too short to take offence at everything

It's not coming from who I mix with or my social circle. It's mainly people at work, school, college and the odd randomer or a distant friend of a friend at an event type thing.

Yeah I think that's what I'm going to have to stay to do, just accept it and move on! And except that someone's always going to have something to say.

Yeah it's shit, and it's only the skinny shaming victims get told to become resilient. I wonder why that is!

I am not suggesting anything. People will always be dickheads.

Why would you think that? Pretty much all victims of bullying get told some version of 'rise above it, grow a thicker skin, learn to deal with it' - it's pretty standard advice, nor reserved for thin people only.

I am probably talking into the abyss but I have found some of the OP’s posts close to the bone and controversial and I am actually agreeing that skinny shaming exists and I’ve been subjected to it, problem is OP you are very entrenched in ‘othering’ as you see people have othered you, so you seem to be retaliating about fat people by othering them into generalised stereotypes then they are retaliating against you so it’s going round and round. I find it interesting to have my POV’s challenged but not everyone is open to this. It doesn’t help raise awareness of your issues to retaliate in this way (combative) as I think people stop listening to your point, it gets lost.

Most of the stories of skinny shaming have been shared as a common female experience that perhaps some people weren’t aware of, and also acknowledged that it clearly happens to fat people too, perhaps just in different more entrenched behaviours that affect more of their lives. Most people were not competing in privilege olympics. It happens to lots of women for different reasons and I don’t want it to happen to any women for their shape or size because we all deserve to feel special and not be on the end of bitchy derogatory comments

Are you young OP? Because I have noticed that many young women seem to prefer to be larger than slim, with lots of emphasis on 'curves' with full hips and bums. My friends DD who is by no means 'skinny' would like to be bigger and follows lots of diets and gym programs to gain bulk. If you're young this could be why you've experienced such negativity about your figure, that I (same size but older) have never encountered because my generation who were young in the Kate Moss era are more likely to see slim as positive.

This made me remember my best friend in school who got bullied for 'looking like a boy' eg being thin - even in the height of 90s heroin chic 'superwaif' toxicity, bullies were just looking for anything that would hurt. It was a group of boys who bullied her - for a year or so I think - who knows why? Sometimes people are just awful. I haven't thought about that in so long, but this thread made it come back to me.

Yes slim is not actually seen as good now, it’s all about having a juicy booty and hips and boobs. This is why there are comments to thin women who do not have this shape. I walked behind a woman today (who I might add was very fit and looked amazing and I was trying very hard not to stare) but who I think had had a BBL as I have never seen a bum jiggle like that before and it wasn’t in proportion with the rest of her body at all. She had the bum scrunch leggings on and a tiny top and she was right in front of me so it was hard to not notice and my main thought was I felt like women have it pretty shit if they are feeling the pressure to do this to themselves, I don’t have a jiggly booty, should I have one? I don’t want one but also I can see how women feel conflicted. I saw a TikTok of a girl who was trying to naturally reduce her BBL because she was afraid of more surgery and she said it was so hard to get rid of it, it had her all out of proportion and she couldn’t buy normal clothes

Thanks, I genuinely take this on board

I agree with this to an extent and see this in people my age and younger, I'm not too young I'm 30 - but this is popular with my peers for sure

@chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice

I was always skinny, from a young age. I did lots of sports and dance too so was eating well. I used to do modelling too (in my teens, only catalogue, hair and makeup modelling). I was told by many people that I was too thin. I was even asked if I was anorexic - imagine if I had been! People would tell me to eat more. It wasn't out of concern either that people made these comments. I hate to say but it did seem to be people, men and women, who were overweight and insecure about their own weight, who made these comments and felt somehow that they had the right to.

I'm probably more 8-10 now than 6-8, but I have a real dislike for body shaming of any kind, especially skinny-shaming.

I agree with this. This is the ideal at the moment