Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

@LaMarschallin thanks. Yes, I've lost 6 stone just in time to enter my 40s before the health issues likely started.

You do realise that not all slim women suffer to be so, don't you?
Yes. There are lots of naturally slim women. But they are not likely to be on a thread pissed off at me for taking WL injections.

Do you still believe all slim people look down their noses at fat people?
No. Again, the ones that are naturally slim don't. But those that use "willpower, discipline and self control" to be slim 100% look down on people who they perceive to be greedy/lazy/lacking in willpower etc.

Simply being matter of fact to an equally rude OP.

MN makes me laugh. I think I'm a 'teeny tiny' by what I've read. I don't know what the weight limit is to get in that class! But bollocks, if people want to spend their lives getting offended at my existence then more fool them. I don't give a shit!

Yes, I get cold when it's cold. May God forgive me 😂

You wouldn't want that. They have A/C up there. Us teeny tinies need to stay on Satan's good side - he's got some lovely central heating down there. 😁

The whole "teeny tiny" thing isn't actually about being just thin...it's the performative aspect of it.

The only person “fat shaming” you is your husband, @Blueberryancakes .

Really? Because the first poster who mentioned it (who you absolutely leaped to agree with), was quite obviously talking about how thin women look. Rather viciously encouraging us to eat burgers to keep warm, I believe.

Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.

That needs to be sorted out. Are sick people standing outside because the heating is up too high? That's crazy.

Can you give some examples?
I’ve never seen anyone perform being thin.

Yes, I'd be interested in this too. I didn't realise my dress size was a performance, but I'm intrigued.

@Comedycook exactly.

"Teeny tiny" doesn't just mean a slim person. It means the sort of person who goes "ooh I couldn't possibly manage to eat all that!" and "ohh just cut me a tinnnny bit".

There a LOADS of threads about teeny tinies and competitive performance undereaters on here. This competitive coldness thing is just an extension of that.

Have you never been at an event with a cake when every woman queues up to tell the person serving it to only cut them a tiny sliver?

Dressing warmly is apparently performative, as is drinking hot drinks, or asking for the air conditioning to be adjusted, you know, all the things you might regularly do if you tend to feel the cold.

@Comedycook but says it loudly, whilst looking disapprovingly at someone else's normal size piece.

It is not passive aggressive fat shaming.

Or I watched a video on FB reels the other day of a woman eating a meal with her boyfriend and laughing because she could only mange a few mouthfuls and he was gobbling everything up...lol, apparently

This isn’t something only thin people do.

You mean someone who might have just eaten lunch and isn't hungry? Or doesn't like cake? Or is going out for food later? Or who would rather eat the dessert they have planned into their calories after dinner, than some random cake now? So they just have a bit to join in and be polite? Because they'd get more grief by not having any?

Nothing to do with subconsciously fat shaming. Every office I’ve worked in there has been heating / air con wars. There’s six of us in my current team one moans it’s too hot, some are constantly cold. You can’t win. We’re all about a size 10 / 12.

I wonder if the permanent coldness is addling the brains of some posters.

It's not about BEING cold. It's about making a song and dance out of it.

Have you guys honestly never heard of "performance parenting" for example? It's like that but instead of "that's right Jimmy, a peanut is a legume not a nut" (looks around for approval) it's "oohhh I'm SOOOO COLLDDDDD" (24/7) Giving Nikki Grahame from Big Brother vibes actually, bless her heart.

Oh wow. A reel. I watched one of a fat lady eating a roast dinner. Is that performative obesity?

I saw pulling your sleeves over your wrists mentioned earlier. And I'm not allowed to wear a big jumper either.

I sometimes can't eat a big meal either. For shame!!

Yes yes, we get it. You want us to keep it to ourselves and suffer in silence. Only fat, hot people can complain about temperature.

KerryBlues

Comedycook
Have you never been at an event with a cake when every woman queues up to tell the person serving it to only cut them a tiny sliver?

Show quote history
This isn’t something only thin people do.

Quite.
Tbh, it's something I've nearly always seen larger people do when they're on a diet.
Most people just accept the slice they're given.

ETA a quote that I thought I'd already added.

I honestly never have been at any event where EVERY woman asks for a tiny piece, and I doubt you genuinely have either. I usually ask for a small piece as I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but if you were offering me a cheese plate it would be a very different story.

Could my lack of sweet tooth have something to do with me being slim? Quite possibly. I’m just made that way though. Reading this thread I’ve realised that my tendency to feel the cold is probably related to my unusually low blood pressure, which I never thought of before.