Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

How is OP the issue when she puts the comforts of others ahead of her by not putting on the AC?

I think it’s selfish of people to tell OP about their body temperature. They’re there for a very limited amount of time, OP is there all day!

And they must know OP’s teeny tiny desk fan is not going to affect the overall temperature of the building, so why are they even saying anything to her?!

If patients feel the cold from the AC, then they are entitled to mention it. It is a shame that the practice staff like the OP are hostile to them.

And I hate ‘middle aged women’ being targeted on MN. Because young women never feel the cold of course.

Are all of your examples grounded in TV shows and movies you've watched? Or reels you've seen on social media? I'd really suggest you go outside into the real world. This level of fantasy isn't good for you. It's like you're living in a 90s/early noughties American high-school drama.

It’s like these few posters have waited for a chance to vent all their hatred and jealousy of thin people and have just gone for it!

These ‘teeny tiny’ people are really not that common. The people obsessed with small portions I know are a few overweight colleagues at work and it’s dull as hell to listen to. Yet the thin-haters have made this ‘teeny tiny’ thing into a huge phenomenon so that they can spout all their resentment. Hopefully they will get it out of their systems soon!

I am so glad that my friend group is made up of all sizes and appetites and nobody comments on this stuff at all.

It must be exhausting being so unhappy and preoccupied with your own weight that you take offence at women who simply run cooler than you, take a smaller slice of cake etc.

I suggest that anyone who genuinely feels this way seeks some therapy in order to support them with their weight loss journey. It’s not a healthy mentality to have.

It certainly seems like it! The desperate scrabbling to prove that these teeny tinies are lurking in the shadows of each office aircon, clutching their tea and just waiting for a chance to emotionally beat them down is...pretty wild.

I think what they fail to understand is that when people are comfortable and content in their own bodies, the last thing on their mind is what others think of them. Nor are they thinking about food, because it just isn't a big part of their day.

Healthy, well-adjusted adults are not amusing themselves during their workday or at events by making sure everyone knows how thin they are. I know I'm thin, I'm happy with how I look, and I think about food when I'm hungry or have a bit of time to plan a lovely dinner. I think about working out when I'm working out (which I do to keep strong and fit and healthy, not to stay thin). I'm not squealing with joy every time I put a dress on because the label says 6.

The only person whose opinion on my body I care about is DH, and even that comes way behind mine. Do I like that he finds me attractive? God yes. Am I rejecting cake and wearing thermals to keep him attracted to me? Fuck no.

I'm assuming their own headspace isn't so peaceful.

Overweight people are the majority in the UK..I am at a loss to understand why some make themselves out to be an oppressed minority.

Because according to them, thinness is prized by society. And because they have internalised self hatred as they don't fit that position, they turn it outwards onto the minority who do. Instead of making changes to lose weight, or removing toxic influences such as whatever they're watching on SM, putting down magazines, etc., and working on truly accepting themselves (as they claim to), they waste energy attacking the women who are "prized".

Reading some of these comments is quite eye opening, tbh. I'd really not like to live in their heads; it must be exhausting.

But you would struggle to see how someone might think that rant sounds a little smug? No?

Are people not allowed to be happy with their weight?

How is it smug? There are countless posts in this thread accusing thin women of thinking about their thinness and "performing" it to upset fat women.

I'm addressing the fact that this doesn't happen. It doesn't even come into our heads. Probably because we're happy with ourselves. It isn't my problem that some of these overweight women are fantasists and turning perfectly normal interactions about not eating cake or being cold into jibes at them.

Or are thin women not allowed to say they're content with themselves?

Alternatively, I've also heard overweight women complaining when thinner women have their own body image issues. A thin woman puts on a few pounds and isn't happy about it? HORROR! How dare they bring up they're unhappy with their weight in front of someone larger?!

It's almost like thin women can't win either way. They're expected to just shut up and bask in the warm, triumphant waters of not being overweight. But with their eyes averted, lest they're accused of "giving evils" when a fat woman eats a biscuit.

Or are thin women not allowed to say they're content with themselves?
Well if you do, you're only saying that because everything you say and do IS PURELY focused on how that impacts on other people....

Agh, you're right! I forgot, us teeny tinies exist only to create discord and unhappiness in larger women's lives. Damnit! Back to the drawing board.

I think the whole point of that poster's post is that it IS a trope.

This. Your husband is the issue here. He’s the one making the point.

Thin/slim = to do with your physical size
Teeny tiny = your theatrics and performance

Not all thin/slim women are "teeny tinies". But some absolutely are. A thousand threads on MN will tell you this. I am starting to feel like I'm being gaslit! Do you not all read the same MN as me?!

Not sure why this is so hard to understand. But then again, the brain runs on glucose - maybe some aren't getting enough

Possibly. But every interaction or scenario she's listed seems to belong to the world of Hollywood or Instagram. It's becoming quite difficult to distinguish what she believes is real and what she doesn't.

We've read what you're saying! Like I and pp have said previously, it's also possible that those competitive eating threads are started by overweight women, who, like yourself and other posters on here, are convinced normal interactions with thin people are actually fat-shaming.

Good grief!

Seems more like it's your husbands PA way of fat shaming you if anything.

Is teeny tiny in the dictionary or is it just your passive aggressive way of describing certain women?

If you’re so irritated by this personality trait in women then ignore and walk on by.

You are getting so worked up about it.

I learned it on MN. HTH.

😂😂MN the fountain of all knowledge.

Actually a small demographic of all women HTH

Sorry - this is a you thing im afraid, you seem to want to play the victim - i am from a very hot asian country, anything under 24 - im cold. My parents, very very rarely visit me here as they cannot deal with the cold. I dont care if you have a fan or a heater - im cold. No, it's not because im small either. It sounds like you have a massive chip on your shoulder about your weight - sorry if that sounds harsh.