To think parents nowadays are just weak

[Alberta56]

Not sure is it just me but I feel like most parents are just soft and incapabble to discipline their own kids. I constantly see topics here and not only about small kids doing what they want - screaming, tantrums, wanting stuff and parents are just so helpless. When I go on the tube kids screaming putting their dirty feet on the seats. At home kids not wanting to eat and parents act like they own a restaurant immediately cooking something else. What's wrong with saying NO, or ""keep quiet" or " you eat whats available or "you go and play alone while mommy reads a book for 1 h". Why are parents constantly trying to keep kids entertained and spend a fortune on stupid activities. Worst thing is that I see young colleagues 18/ 19 years old coming to work and are just incapable of being a human - constantly late, all the time have to think about their feelings and emotions can't even complain to HR when they're not doing their job properly....I just don't get it really. I'm about to be a mom myself and if I need i will discipline my kid with firm approach non of that " let them express themselves" cr@p.

I agree. I also was brought up in an era which many on MN think was terrible for parenting, as were all my friends. Not a trace of mental ill health in any of us, and we are all resilient and other than me all are happily married to their original DHs.

Through my workplace I saw many young people with MH issues, it really astounded me when I first worked there, and I couldn't imagine what on earth had gone wrong.

I have a young friend who has brought up 6 children (two not actually hers) and she is stricter than many I read about on MN. The children are absolute delights, confident and happy, and with impeccable manners. They have always known the rules and boundaries. Two of them went through trauma in their early years but have overcome it well.

I'd love to know where all the posters on MN got their qualifications from. So confident that children they observe don't have SEN. So very confident. We could reduce waiting lists to zero by just parading our children in front of these experts and having them 'reckon' if they have SEN or not. No questionnaires, no observation, no expert opinions, no missed diagnoses.

Brilliant.

You aren't seen nothing yet - wait for generation snowflake to start having children!

@ForGreyKoala I think the pendulum is swinging back to an authoritative parenting style, note, not authoritarian. There’s a clear difference.

In an atmosphere of scarcity, fewer jobs, more competition for best Unis we are going to see a shift I think.

@Rubyandscarlett you mention ‘control’ the thing is ‘control’ is very out of fashion. I was told what I could & couldn’t do to an extreme degree. Those with successful happy kids have ‘controlled’ & pushed IME in some academic areas in line with child’s strengths until upper Primary & then kids are largely self motivated. They argue no young child will actively seek to study hard & do homework.

Now we are told ‘control’ is wrong & ‘influence’ better.

You know what previous generations of parents didn't have to deal with OP, judgement from strangers online who think they know better.

Love it.

Society today does tend to favour and encourage the have it all mentality which to some degree means ‘parenting’ competes with having a career, both parents working, social media and device overuse (parents and children), after school activities, parents going to the gym or having numerous hobbies. It seems sometimes that every spare second is accounted for, so the gentle soft approach in parenting is the go to for an easy life.

Threads like this make me laugh in somewhat way.
When mums without children get called lonely and mean on the mumnetters without children corner.

My kids are grown up.
Happy functional well adjusted members of society.
I agree 100% with OP.

No. True.
They said it to your face.

Lol.
I suppose you think society is doomed and you did a much better job do you?
Give it a rest
You parented in the past, not the present
The OP will soon realise how ridiculous this post is

Grow up.
Im still a parent.
And yes… I look around and think holy fuck. Rude entitled people everywhere.

😂😂😂
Well enjoy being miserable then

Hmm parented in the past? When do you stop parenting then? It just changes rather than stops

The OP was talking about younger children.
The previous poster said her children were grown.
By parented in the past I mean the young children phase.
Every generation thinks they did a better job. Hilarious really to come out in force in support of the OP who isn't even a parent yet.

I hope you save this thread and come back when you have a primary aged child to have a good laugh at your utter ignorance. Everyone is the best parent ever before they actually have kids

Whilst I do agree on a few aspects of what you have said, it applies to SOME parents, not all and it is much easier to spout out how things should be done then to do every single bit

Completely agree with OP.
I work in a role that involves working with families.. So many of the parents I speak to are totally dominated by their kids... The kids seems to rule the roost at home, with parents tip-toeing around them, scared that they will "kick off" if so much as told to get up for school in the morning or told to do their home. Snowflake parents are to blame.

Loads of us who do have kids are agreeing with OP though.

Having spoken to a support worker who mentors troubled teens, the biggest issue she feels is resilience. We just aren't developing resilience in our children. Every hurdle or minor obstacle has to be cleared from their paths. From getting involved in friendship issues at school, querying teachers about detentions/homework, we just aren't allowing our children to navigate the world by themselves. Then when they reach adulthood, they struggle with rejection from job interviews or criticism from employers, they struggle in relationships too.

I'm a parent of an 8 year old and, never in a million years, would he be the one dictating whether he goes to school or not, whether he'll get out of bed in the morning or whether he follows household rules. I'm the parent, the adult... Full stop.

OP - god love you. You’re in for the shock of your life.

.

And that's fair enough. Honestly I don't know a single 8 year old that acts like that. But everyones experiences are different.
The OP is saying she thinks she's going to tell a young child to occupy themselves while she reads... For an HOUR. And that child will do it.
Just enjoy that.

YANBU (and I say this as a parent myself to a toddler!)

But look at the majority of replies on this thread, endless excuses as to why little Jonny can't be disciplined, or why it's so hard to put boundaries in place.

And we wonder why male violence towards women and children and teenage killing sprees are rising.