Is it rude to ignore a wedding dress code?

[PuzzleMix]

Posting for traffic.

Haven't been to a wedding for about 10 years so haven't encountered this trend before.

Invite says guests are encouraged to wear autumnal colours- reds, greens, browns or yellows. I don't have anything in these colours, and money is tight at the moment. I do have a wedding appropriate outfit but it is navy with bright flowers.

Would it be unreasonable to just wear this?

This isn't a particulary close friend's wedding but l don't know how to play this! l don't want to stand out as not joining in, but surely not everyone follows these dress codes? Or do they!?

Lovely hasbeens on
Vinted. Seller open to negotiations.

I would follow dress code. An autumnal shawl from vinted for ceremony and photos.

Since the dress code in this invitation is just "encouraged" rather than mandatory I would just get a scarf or some accessory as a nod to the request.

As a jewel winter I don't suit autumn colours at all and don't own anything that looks autumnal, so I would just choose something as close to those colours as possible that I already own.

Just add an orange scarf job done!!

I wouldn't encourage this bossy shite.

I don't know what it is about some brides and grooms that makes them think getting married, gives them a licence to be total dicks.

Dark red, burgundy or dark green wrap would solve the problem for about a tenner on Amazon.

That dress is totally fine

The bride sounds like a pretentious wanker

It's funny that people have no issue respecting requests for everyone to wear a certain colour at a funeral (please wear pink; bright colours only; black, grey or navy being recent ones) but take offence when people ask the same for a wedding.

I'd embrace it. Look in a charity shop or try preloved website for a cheap option. If you don't you'll just look odd in the photos and you'll draw attention to yourself at the event.

Never in a million years would I have dictated what guests to my wedding were allowed to wear. Anything bar a wedding dress was fine. If they want to suggest a dress theme which can people can follow if they 1) have the clothes already or 2) have the money to buy the clothes AND suit those colours and will wear the clothes again, then that’s fine. But it should always be an option and not a stipulation. They aren’t paying for those clothes so they don’t get to dictate. It’s a wedding, not a superficial photography event or fashion show.

If you don't you'll just look odd in the photos

I couldn't care less about being in someone else's wedding photos, and I suspect that a lot of people couldn't either.

I admit to finding everything geared towards photos these days extremely irritating. What happened to just enjoying an event without having to worry about being stage props for someone else's photos?

The ironic thing is that the more people follow the dress code the shitter the photos will look. All that matchy matchy colour themed outfits will just look really tacky.

Sounds good to me, worst case scenario you won't be in the photos

I agree. We do it for kids parties, school mufti themes, funerals, Christmas jumper day! It is the one day in the brides whole adult life she can have everything as she wants. Her dream day. Support her dreams 😉

It doesn't take a lot to put out a WhatsApp to ask if a sister, friend etc has something you could borrow, buy something on vinted or ebay and then resell it after, or pop a cheap scarf in the colours over it. I'm sure she would appreciate the effort more than any presents.

It doesn't take a lot to put out a WhatsApp to ask if a sister, friend etc has something you could borrow, buy something on vinted or ebay and then resell it after, or pop a cheap scarf in the colours over it. I'm sure she would appreciate the effort more than any presents.

How to ruin a carefully put together outfit by covering it with a cheap scarf that doesn't go with it.

I would do that to please the bride, but I would probably "lose" it soon after.

Exactly. What if they don't want fat people in the photos, are they going to make them stand at the back?

Or aunt Maud in her wheelchair, will they prop her up or airbrush it out?

Madness.

If the photos are that important they could just get the photographer to photoshop the outfits to fit the colour scheme.

It is the one day in the brides whole adult life she can have everything as she wants.

Why? She's getting married, not curing cancer.

It's that sort of nonsense drummed into girls and women that make them end up acting like selfish dicks towards their wedding guests.

To be honest if friends or family couldn't make such little effort for her day to be as she (or he!) would like, I think they are the ones being selfish dicks.

The invitation politely says it would be appreciated. So why not? They aren't asking for an elaborate gift from a select list, just a bit of effort. Who knows the reason?! On the subject of cancer, my friend recently asked everyone to wear something pink and it was to show support for her sister who has breast cancer. I personally thought it was a lovely gesture, the photos looked amazing and showed a team vibe between the families and it got a conversation going.

I really think people are going OTT on this and don't see any harm in it.

As someone who is an odd shape when it comes to clothes I sometimes find it hard enough to find a formal dress I feel comfortable in. Unless I struck lucky I can't just casually find a second hand dress in a specific colour and I'd much rather wear something I already know fits me.

A few people have said l will look odd in the photos or l won't be in the photos. I'm not sure l will even see the photos! I haven't been to a wedding for about 7 years so l'm probably out of touch but as far as l remember the photos are mainly focussed on the bride and groom?!

I'm not a major part of the day as an ex- colleague who isn't invited to the ceremony, so l don't expect to be in any photos unless they do one of those wide angle let's-photograph-the-whole-wedding-party shots. Or in the background of a natural, documentary style photo, chatting to other guests.

And if they are shared, l don't do Facebook. If any go on Instagram it'll likely be photos of the Bride and Groom!? It's weird how events are viewed based on how they will look on social media...I'm thinking about being there, enjoying the day and feeling comfortable, not being an extra in a wedding photoshoot.

I could check out Vinted but l am top heavy and dresses are quite hard to fit so it's not as simple as just ordering something on there.

You've said it for me 😂

IKWYM but at funerals nobody takes photos, the request is not for a vain, narcissistic reason. It can bring comfort to those left behind not to be surrounded by the finality of mourners in black.

I would interpret the dress code request as best I could.

Also you.can be more casual with a colour themed funeral. It's not too hard to find a specific coloured T shirt and that would be good enough with some plain trousers or a skirt. You wouldn't get away with that for a wedding.

It's weird how events are viewed based on how they will look on social media...I'm thinking about being there, enjoying the day and feeling comfortable, not being an extra in a wedding photoshoot.

100% agree with this ^^