Is it rude to ignore a wedding dress code?

[PuzzleMix]

Posting for traffic.

Haven't been to a wedding for about 10 years so haven't encountered this trend before.

Invite says guests are encouraged to wear autumnal colours- reds, greens, browns or yellows. I don't have anything in these colours, and money is tight at the moment. I do have a wedding appropriate outfit but it is navy with bright flowers.

Would it be unreasonable to just wear this?

This isn't a particulary close friend's wedding but l don't know how to play this! l don't want to stand out as not joining in, but surely not everyone follows these dress codes? Or do they!?

Bloody hell 😂
A huge part of Halloween is dressing up - if you’re under 10.
Imagine a grown adult striking friends from their guest list because they wouldn’t wear a fecking mask…
Tragic.

If you only like a super serious gathering then why are you desperate to be getting underfoot at a Halloween party?! You won't enjoy any activities and it gets messy! The kids are in fact under 10 and it is their party above all, they don't need some numpty standing around in their jeans debating mortgages and broadband providers while blocking activities. You can just go to the pub with whoever likes talking to you, like you would any other night of the year.

What's next, turning up at Christmas but refusing to eat or swap presents and wondering why people aren't enthused to have you? Going to a New Years Eve party but demanding everyone watches a film instead of the countdown?

Hardly? More like going to a Christmas party without a tacky acrylic Christmas jumper and having your host be so miffed at this that she resolves not to invite you again

Btw, how does someone not wearing fancy dress “block activities” for the children at a children’s party?

I know I felt a bit awkward at my aunt's 50th birthday party while not following the white and gold theme (although in this case, it wasn't because I was ignoring it - my uncle had failed to tell the family that there was a dress code, this only came out two days before the party and no one had time to look for something white or gold!) Whenever I've told that story, people have said "Like Del Boy and Rodney in fancy dress at that funeral?"

(Aunt claimed it didn't matter when my cousin tried to explain that our uncle had cocked up and no one knew about the dress code, however it was soon clear that she did mind because she made a big point of excluding the family from the photos she shared on Facebook!)

(I did think the dress code was a bit daft at the time, but if my uncle had given enough notice I would probably have just gone along with it).

Is one of them foreign? It's extremely common to have a dress code where I'm from, usually colour based.
So much so that when we didn't have one stated on the invite, my side of the guests kept calling me to ask about it.

To me the "encouraged" is to allow colours that aren't strictly in the theme but not too far off either. Bright pink would be weird but your dress looks fine with a few accessories.

Could you hire something?

This would fit the colour requirements of red, green and yellow. So you won't stand out or appear as not joining in.

They're Swedish Hasbeens @Crunchymum 😍

That's a great option 😂

@kerryblues Me and a few other colleagues are not invited to the ceremony, not sure why but l'm ok with it.

Your dress has yellow and red flowers so think it can pass

Wow - this is to controlling. I would wear any appropriate outfit and certainly not buy one in autumnal colours just on their whim.

My SIL insisted the family wore black and white, or silver to their wedding. It was delayed for a year and I had already bought a dress (cream and black) which I still wore. My MIL also had already bought a dress before the dress code was announced and SIL took her to a shop and made her buy another which MIL (pensioner) had to pay for.
Our DC were flower girls and they wanted us to pay for their dresses (falling apart by the end of the evening) but we didn't. The whole wedding was OTT in fact. They had 29 bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys and ushers.
Now DH's niece is getting married soon, destination wedding and we're not going. She's given all the women attending some fabric and they all have to get a dress made up. I imagine she wants coordination for Instagram.

This. It's incredibly rude to accept knowing there is a dress code and then not adhere to it.

My DH's brother and his wife had a Victorian theme for their wedding. I couldn't find anything suitable so I wore a nice dress and jacket. I was still allowed to be in the photos and have my delicious wedding meal and dance at the disco.

Ruder than a couple effectively telling their guests that the way they are dressed is more important than their company?

Just put an autumnal yellow scarf on so you can wrap it for the photo

Selfish fucks. That would put me off going tbh, especially in the cost of living crisis

I'm not sure why dressing up has to be mandatory just because you see it as being a big part of Halloween, though? As with the wedding example, surely the company is more important, well I'd have assumed so anyway. Tbh I wouldn't want to go to a party where I was only welcome if I had some stupid costume on and would otherwise be banned from attending. Each to their own though.

if suggesting a dress code were rude we wouldn’t have fancy dress parties. No I don’t think it’s rude to have a dress code, I wouldn’t do it as I want my guests to be comfortable and not have to go to additional lengths to get an outfit. However if someone is organising an event at great cost to them and have a dress code, you have two choices if you are invited: either decline as you don’t want to comply, or go but adhere to the code. You have a choice whether to go or not and if you aren’t happy with the conditions don’t go. But don’t accept knowing the conditions then do what the fuck you like. That’s the rude part.

How utterly cringe worthy and self absorbed ( the wedding couple I mean!) . It wouldn’t cross my mind n a million years to give guests a dress code. However, I disagree with people saying your dress meets the code. It’s fine for a wedding of course, but I doubt Bridezilla will see it that way.

Given it says encouraged and not required, I wouldn't get anything new. It's similar to funerals when people encourage to wear red or wear blue etc - some people wear all black regardless (usually because that's their way of showing respect, but sometimes because thats all they have thats approriate for a funeral). No one would deem that rude. A wedding is no different, unless it strictly said "Dress code: Autumnal colours only" or similar

Whilst I'm not a huge fan of themed weddings, you'd find it easy to get a dress from a charity shop (being slim) Choose something in the wedding colour scheme that will match the lovely shoes you're wearing in the photo.

Your dress in the pic is lovely OP. I’d wear that. You’re not even important enough to be invited to the ceremony? Sod buying something new as a second tier guest.

PS I love your Hasbeens. I have 5 pairs. All of which cripple me 😂

Slightly rude to ignore dress code: very rude to set one.

This. You can buy a dress on Vinted and sell it again, so it'll only cost postage.