Is it rude to ignore a wedding dress code?

[PuzzleMix]

Posting for traffic.

Haven't been to a wedding for about 10 years so haven't encountered this trend before.

Invite says guests are encouraged to wear autumnal colours- reds, greens, browns or yellows. I don't have anything in these colours, and money is tight at the moment. I do have a wedding appropriate outfit but it is navy with bright flowers.

Would it be unreasonable to just wear this?

This isn't a particulary close friend's wedding but l don't know how to play this! l don't want to stand out as not joining in, but surely not everyone follows these dress codes? Or do they!?

This thread was actually pitched perfectly to cause peak MN frothing, wedding-related, tick, reference to a 'new outfit', tick, opportunity to accuse someone of social media showing-off and/or frivolous wasting of money, tick, good cause to over-use the word 'wrap', tick tick tick! (Nb to me a 'wrap' is something that contains burrito toppings, I think the term 'scarf' or 'pashmina' is more accurate although theoretically to give maximum Granny vibes 'shawl' should be considered ).

Seriously though, I don't get why this would be a big deal. If you already have an outfit in the requested colours wear it, if you would be buying something new anyway (since the old chestnut 'need to buy a new outfit' is so often cited on MN threads about why anyone inviting guests to their wedding is massively UR and a CF) here's a guide, if neither apply then who cares, it's a suggestion only. It's totally standard now for funerals to have this as a request for guests in the deceased's favourite colour, why would it be so vastly weird and ridiculous for weddings?

I think it would look really lovely in the pictures (and not just for social media, people were taking pictures of their weddings and wanting them to look nice decades before the internet was a thing!) to have everyone in subtly colour coordinated themed clothes and personally I think it's quite fun and lends to the atmosphere/feeling of involvement for all the guests to be dressed up in the same way, but it won't matter a bit if a few people aren't (in fact I think a little smidge of navy blue will complement the autumn colours beautifully), so no need for knicker twisting or flouncing?

Batshit!

People who believe other people are just stage-dressing to their lives. Don't treat your guests as human, treat them like props.

I can't stand this idea that life is about what it looks like.

<shouts at clouds>

Some of the comments on here are mad. A lot of you would happily go to fancy dress parties or black tie balls adhering to the dress code but won’t wear a certain colour to a wedding. Even going to the extreme of making yourself centre of attention by purposefully standing out at someone’s wedding by wearing a different colour…wild. Just don’t go.
OP your dress looks fine but as PP have said, a pashmina would help to fit the theme a little more

First of all I think that navy is an autumnal colour but regardless, your dress is lovely.

I have one dress that I love and that makes me feel confident that I wear to all weddings. It's a dress that can be dressed up or down so can loop formal or edgy. I am not into buying clothes that I don't need & can't afford.

well I would never go to a fancy dress party either. If I were invited to a black tie event I have one formal long dress that would be suitable but no-one would be dictating the colour.

That's lovely! It has red, yellow and green on it! so I'd say that fits in with the dress code tbh. if you got a lovely bag in one of the colours and a fascinator maybe (you can check primark/vinted you should be able to grab for a few quid)

Looks a lovely dress but think others suggestions of an inexpensive shawl or pashmina in one of the suggested colours, that also links with your dress will be just fine.
Totally get the wedding dress code dress - in the midst of it now!

Personally you should wear whatever you want, navy sounds OK, what colour are the bright flowers?

The only thing for me would be if everyone stuck to it and then I stuck out like a sore thumb

My friend has masses of clothes that she buys from E bay/Charity shops.My friends son has bought a beautiful suit from the Red Cross!(for a wedding also) maybe worth a root round?

The dress is lovely OP, and autumn appropriate. I actually like it when invitations give you a hint to formality/colours as it makes my life easier. I hate when you don't know what colour the bridesmaids are in and have to risk blending in. I think the wording of the invitation is fine (encouraged, not instructed) and they're not CFers at all. I agree with @Goodas91 that lots of PPs are cutting their nose off to spite their face. I would read that dress code as wear muted/jewel colours rather than pastels. It still leaves lots of options.

As for the guest in the red dress mentioned earlier. I think mood board bride does sounds high maintenance/borderline CF, but if you're asked to adhere to a dress code and deliberately ignore it, I think the hosts are within their rights to ask you to move. Both parties are being a bit rude.

Looks like a lovely outfit, in keeping with the scheme anyway.

You could just get a red neckerchief from a charity shop (quite up to date with autumn trends, btw) and/or a red headband or flower.

www.vogue.co.uk/article/how-to-wear-a-neckerchief

I would absolutely stick to a dress code. I've been to weddings with dress codes ("loud and proud" for a wedding in a warehouse and "festival chic" for a farm wedding in a tent) and it's really helpful to make sure my outfit matches the vibe of the day. I hear that money is tight at the moment but I borrowed outfits in the past from friends or my sister, I've bought dresses from vinted and sold them back on afterwards. I've not been to a colour themed wedding but I know they're getting more popular - I've seen them on instagram where eg the guests have worn pink and it looks amazing. You can wear something in a style and shape that suits you but you all look like you're part of something. It looks cool and the colours you've mentioned for this wedding sound like there'd be something that's flattering for everyone and easily available or already in most people's wardrobes. I wouldn't personally avoid a dress code and stick out like a sore thumb at the event as though I'd not read the invitation properly. The vibes in the comments are not great and it sounds like you don't want to go anyway so just say you can't go. It's their wedding and it's a privilege (and expense!) to be invited so either suck it up and join in the fun or stay at home.

Reminds me of a friend who went to a 'big' birthday party recently. All guests were asked to wear pink. Cue visits to the charity shops, borrowing from friends, colleagues etc.
On the night, the party was in a hired hall - fine. No band, disco or DJ. Just the birthday girl playing music from her phone. And no food. She is skint apparently.
She had a lovely time opening all her birthday presents and cards though!
Haha some people are unbelievable!

OP I'd wear the navy. It's ridiculous! Hopefully you'll be fed though!

"encouraged" suggests you can ignore and wear what you like.
Like a PP said, surely the men will be wearing black, blue, grey. But if a whole bunch of men do turn up wearing orange/yellow suits please post us a pic on the thread 😁

I don't mind a suggestion, sometimes I have no idea what to wear - so pointers help.

The dress you posted looks lovely, tan and mustard colours are lovely with navy in the autumn. Maybe tan shoes or purse.

I think your proposed outfit looks lovely.

Being a naturally awkward cuss if any one sent me a wedding invitation stipulating what colours the guests were being asked to wear I'd start a little revolution with the other guests : so everybody turned up in what THEY wanted to wear as regards what suited them colourwise and cost wise. Of course respecting suitability for a wedding occasion.

So many things about weddings are just ott. They are supposed to be about witnessing an exchange of vows between a couple. That seems to have got lost in all the ridiculous showmanship and people trying to outdo each other.

@Tattletail Lots of men have green or brown tweed suits (or kilts), I imagine if someone has one they'll be wearing that.

@Neverstophoping I'd start a little revolution with the other guests : so everybody turned up in what THEY wanted to wear as regards what suited them colourwise and cost wise

So, err, like any wedding then..? What a revolutionary.

How rude of them to impose this on you, and unreasonable. I would not attend.

😂 Attention seeking?! Maybe if l was wearing a lace unitard with nothing on underneath it!

Thanks for all the helpful feedback, think l will get some more red accessories and wear my planned dress.

This

Go for the navy with flowers, absolutely. Firstly, it's not like you're wearing red at a black & white event, you're well within the autumnal range. Secondly, luckily they just gave you a suggestion and not a mandatory rule to follow - as it should well be, I think it's crazy that people dictate how their guests should dress. I didn't have bridesmaids at my wedding for this very reason! The same colour/shape won't suit all. People are definitely losing touch with reality.

You'll be absolutely fine. Don't waste money on something totally unnecessary and enjoy your day!

Sorry I don't understand your comment.

I was referring to refusing to wear what the bride and groom were requesting their guests to wear.i.e refusing to be dictated to.

So what is the snide remark about?

How hard is it to dress yourself for a wedding that you’d need “pointers”?
Do you not get out much?

I'll see you there! 😂