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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling completely overwhelmed, I keep screaming into a pillow

539 replies

glassdo · 15/09/2024 13:54

Please be kind. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm so fucking fed up of mum life.

My kids are two and four and it's so relentless.

I think I must just be so unhappy to be so happy overwhelmed.

Especially my two year old just doesn't fucking listen to a word I say. I can't even get him to eat anything. All he does is cry, scream and have tantrums if he doesn't get exactly what he wants.

I'm so angry today. I'm angry. It's another Sunday alone with the kids. It's been another week, dealing with my kids basically alone because my husband works away a fair amount. I'm angry because they don't listen to me ( especially the little one ). I'm angry because I work so fucking hard to keep my house tidy and clean and all they do all day is mess it up.

I am so angry because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a joke and a mess of a human and they can do it better than me. By everyone I mean my in laws, my parents and even my husband. I think he thinks I'm just a bit shit. He has no idea how much it takes for me to keep the house in the condition it's in.

I can't take it. I just want my kids to listen to me. I can't take it anymore

I'm absolutely fuming today.

OP posts:
HappyMummaOfOne · 15/09/2024 16:31

why does everyone seem to be focusing on things YOU should try or do?!?
Has everyone forgotten that the children has a father and he is home at weekends????

if you can I would suggest:-
1- book some annual leave to have one or two days off work whilst the kids are at nursery. Use this time to clean the house and then put your feet up and enjoy the clean and tidy space! (I am like you and feel anxious when my house is a mess. So although to a lot of people they would think I’m crazy for suggesting you clean when you have free time it will make you happier to be able to relax in a tidy space)
2 - message a friend and arrange a catch up for next weekend! (Even better if you can afford to do something special like a spa or an afternoon tea ect) then TELL your husband that you will be out for a FULL day and he will be in charge of the children. Then wake up early, get yourself ready and leave! Your husband is a parent too and can look after them for a day……it may also help him see what you deal with on a daily basis and appreciate you more :)
3 - have a serious conversation with your husband about the imbalance of childcare, housework and that as he helped to create the children so he needs to help raise them.

You sound completely worn out and you need a break. Yes you love your children but it is hard work and if you are not happy/rested then your children won’t be happy either. I recently had my second and am sooooo sleep deprived (as was doing all the night feeds) that I broke down crying and said I couldn’t function anymore. There is no shame in admitting you are struggling. And do you know what my husband did…he called my parents and they took my 3 year old to theirs for a day and a sleepover, my husband then took the baby and told me to get back in bed and sleep. He then brought me food throughout the day and did the night feeds. It was amazing what one day of sleep did for me! I felt like superwoman afterwards.
now we have set it that one night a week my husband will do the overnights so I can sleep and he takes the kids downstairs one morning so I can then lie in.
Your husband should be your partner and care if you are struggling. Ask for help.

sending a big hug and PLEASE take some time for you. You will feel better and it will have a positive impact on your kids xx

Babyworriesreal · 15/09/2024 16:32

Would you consider ringing your health visiting team and asking for some behaviour management support OP? Most teams have nursery nurses who deliver this type of support.

VimtoQueen90 · 15/09/2024 16:32

Solidarity. Saw this post and showed it to my husband cos we hugely relate also with a 4 and 2 year old. It's so impossibly hard when you're working too. At the start of the summer, we had a huge toy clear out and left them one toybox of toys, but most importantly got rid of all the toys with bits and pieces or that just generally did my head in day to day. It's been an absolute GAME CHANGER. Makes tidying up soooo much more bearable when you know it's just a few large items to chuck in the box. Highly recommend.

Japaneseflower · 15/09/2024 16:32

glassdo · 15/09/2024 15:34

I'm usually really patient with tantrums. I'm having a really bad week. I've been very unwell this week and my husband hasn't really helped me or cared about it.

I'm super resentful that it all seems to fall on me- even when he is here. I understand when he's not here. But when he is here, he doesn't do much.

The kids have also been getting up at the crack of fucking dawn every day. 5:30-6 am and I'm fucking sick of it. I never ever get to sleep in. My husband always does. Cos he's so tired from all his hard work. Whereas I'm just at home and working at home too so I should have more energy ? I have a chronic illness.

The kids are asleep now. At least I can clean the kitchen. I know you're all saying to let it go but I can't function properly if it's too messy.

As for my in laws, I just feel judged. My mother in law gifts us clothes and then accuses me of not letting my kids wear them. Which is untrue. My husbands said it's because she thinks I'm disorganised and don't even know where I put them. That hit me hard. My mum thinks I'm a wreck. She loves me but she thinks I can't cope and I have to hear comments all the time that she had even less support and that we didn't even have screen time and that we ate properly and she managed. Bla bla bla

This is just not okay from your husband. You need to remind him parenting is just as hard,maybe even harder than working a job. It's more demanding, emotionally exhausting. Especially at that age. You need to leave him for a Saturday with the kids, go and out and then he'll see how hard it is. You are both parents. Not just him, if he truly loved you, he'd see and understand how stressed you are. He needs a reality check. Force him to support you or leave his ass.

Zonder · 15/09/2024 16:34

Gardendiary · 15/09/2024 16:04

Also, your husband can fuck off with his judgement. You sound like you’re doing your best, he doesn’t sound much help. At this point I would say use screens, snacks, no homework needed on reception and do whatever works to keep yourself sane.

This. You need to sort this out with your husband and also your mum. But particularly your husband.

Where is he this weekend? Why isn't he looking after his children?

Also you need support from your family worker. Ask your child's school or nursery about this.

dreamer24 · 15/09/2024 16:34

He never has. He's maybe done 4 hours once.

This is your real problem. Your husband needs to start doing some parenting. Another useless bloke 🙄

CrunchySnow · 15/09/2024 16:35

It is really bloody hard. I have the same age gap and my oldest was a runner. He used to make a break for it any opportunity. Is there any fully fenced in playgrounds near you? These saved my sanity.

The one thing that worked for me is introducing a sticker chart. I'd talk to him in the morning about where we were going and keep reiterating to me that if he didn't run off, then he could pick a special sticker for the chart. Make the rewards easy to achieve....I.e. 3 stickers get a new book, 6 stickers some bubbles etc. Keep him interested. My son really responded to this....I kept reminding him of the need to stay with me, and I'd give him a basket to collect leaves or something. I'd try when your 4yo is in school. Just try going somewhere local for 10 minutes so you don't have to get in the car, and you know you don't have to go out for long.

In terms of meals, my youngest is insanely fussy. It drives me mad, but now I offer the same foods we are all eating. Sometimes she eats, sometimes she doesn't. On nursery days she barely touches food as she eats so much there. A banana and milk isn't bad....I wouldn't be giving in to letting him have 5 though. You just need to firmly say no and then ignore the rest of the requests/tantrum....I know this is harder said than done but it gets gradually easier as he learns that you aren't going to give in. A bento box works well with my daughter as she likes the novelty of her own lunchbox....maybe let him pick one and try that?

LAMPS1 · 15/09/2024 16:37

Honestly OP, if you have a runner, it’s pretty hopeless I know. He sounds very bright. This stage, where they are fast and hell bent on escaping, but don’t have any fear, is absolute hell unless you are giving him one to one attention. I’d say that’s exactly what he needs …one to one attention ….in an ordered environment.

Your DH has to step up at weekends. It’s easier if you are a team and you aren’t a team right now as you say he doesn’t even know what you are going through. So you need to tell him.

DH needs to be playing properly, with full attention on your two year old. He needs to build the tower over and over again so the little one can knock it down. Not just once, twenty times. He needs to calm him with books. He needs to practise walking with him on the street. He needs to chase him round the garden. He needs to talk talk talk to him, sing with him. He needs to push him on the swing till his arms ache. He needs to build dens indoors and outside, climb trees, jump off logs, help him learn to scoot, swim and kick a ball. He needs to dance with him, play-wrestle with him, rake the leaves with him, gather apples with him, wash the car with him. While doing this, he needs to really observe and understand his needs and likes and think of ways to meet them until your son is calmer, instead of frantically searching for stimuli. He needs to show his son how to relax with him on the sofa for a minute or two in between activities. He needs to get down and show your little one how to play with his toys at home, talking all the time, building a proper father son relationship with him.
Your son is able to stick to routines and do most of this at nursery so he can do it at home if the framework is there.
Your DH needs to give you a break, even if it means taking time off work.

Your in laws could be less judgemental and more helpful/understanding. That’s also on your DH to sort out.

Your own mum …could she take the four year old for a couple of hours, so that you can give your two year old some really intensive play time where you are fully engaged and reaching him on his level, playing the way he wants to play.

As for food, stick to the rule of eating meals only at the table. Get a child size table if you haven’t already. Eat with them. The food stays on the table. There is no walking around eating or walking round with a bottle. There is no food in between meals. Eg… Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bath, milk with a story, bed. Offer it nicely and present it attractively to them. If they don’t eat it, put it in the bin. If they throw it or drop it on the floor, put it in the bin. But if they need to handle it before eating it, that's ok. Crumbling a muffin is ok as long as they then attempt to eat it too. Try never to stress about food. Take the little table outside. Let them eat outside for a change of scene. But stick to the rules.

Don’t try to talk or reason when he has a tantrum. Put him in his bedroom if possible with locked windows and the door ajar. Sit outside the door so he knows you are there. Take a breather while he screams it out. Think about what started it and if there is a pattern emerging. Maybe read a book with your four year old. Then give him a hug when it’s finished and move on to something nice.

Tonight when they are in bed, put some toys away so they can’t make as much of a mess. Keep the books and favourite toys/puzzles and building toys in a designated place so they get to know where things belong. Play the cleaning up song and show them how to put things back in the storage boxes. Enjoy doing it yourself until they want to join in. Show them it’s fun.

In your distress, you have lost a bit of authority and willingness to engage in fun play. I’m not surprised at all that you are struggling if you are doing it all alone, as well as working.
You are crying out for help. If I lived next door, I’d come and help you.
You are a good mum. Asking for help isn’t easy .
This stage will pass OP. But do let your DH in on how distraught you are feeling.

SootysCaravan · 15/09/2024 16:37

Sounds like you’re doing all you can, OP. Possibly pushing yourself past your current limits and that in itself is really stressful.
Kids LOVE mess (and messing about) and I’ve been in your exact position with little to no help.
I gave up the ‘main and pudding’ and put everything on one big plate and they soon realised that once the fun bits are gone they’re not being refilled. I didn’t fixate over sitting at the table as I found it easier to Hoover than to argue incessantly and they seemed to enjoy the freedom.
Most days I found myself filling a bucket of water with warm water and bubbles and chucking a load of little toys in.. enough time to have a brew and find a tiny shred of calm.

MostlyHappyMummy · 15/09/2024 16:37

if your husband won't share parenting - despite being the better parent as he says - it would be easier to separate and then you'd get occasional breaks

Findmebythesea1 · 15/09/2024 16:39

What you need is a break. It’s very difficult to look for solutions or implement rules when you’re at your mental brink. Can the in laws or your husband not have them even for a day just so you can sit & rest? I had 2 the same age during covid lockdown and it was fucking hard, only now when I look back do I realise how mentally fucked I was from it.

AdoraBell · 15/09/2024 16:40

As you have a garden get him to run around, if you can do something like an assault course, obviously suitable for his age.

As for the relatives, and your husband, just laugh and say if you can do it better then over to you, you do it for the next 6 months.

AdoraBell · 15/09/2024 16:43

Sorry, posted too soon. To stop the 2 yr old running off get some reins or one of the back packs with a strap, I don’t what they are called.

CountFucula · 15/09/2024 16:44

glassdo · 15/09/2024 14:20

I'm always fucking stuck with them. I love them so much, I feel bad for saying that. I adore them. But it's just mad.

My four year old started reception and I was trying to do home work with her. We got one book in a pack which is for the parents and she just wanted to write in that book. I said, no this is for me etc and she would not let it go- I ended up shouting at her about it as I'm so frazzled. Then we tried to do writing practice and she wanted to sharpen her already very sharp pencil. I tried to explain it doesn't need to be sharpened. She proceeded to have a tantrum about it so fine, we can sharpen an already sharp fucking pencil. Of course, then the sharp bit falls out and I do have to spend ages sharpening it etc.

I bought a cool alphabet game for her and for us to practice and they just started throwing it everywhere. I buy so many nice things and they just throw them all over the place. When I ask them to stop they just ignore me or laugh.

These things add up for me and now my nervous system is frazzled. I shouted so much today ( mainly into a pillow ) that my head hurts.

You do not need to do homework with your four year old. Read with her and that’s all. No wonder you are overwhelmed- cut yourself some slack!

Nerdymummy · 15/09/2024 16:45

You are doing a good job. It’s hard. Just a tip with the buggy from someone whose child used to like to escape use reigns clipped over the straps. Take off the bit you hold when walking but as it clips at back they can’t unclip. For car seat you can get anti escape things to go on seat in Halfords. When mine were little I cycled toys so had fewer out.

Being a mum can be so hard. I have one child who is autistic and had family members believing they could do it better. It’s heart breaking when people belittle how hard you work and it can be relentless. Your partner needs to be giving you breaks so you have time to relax. Being a mum is exhausting and especially if you become the default parent who deals with the majority

LookItsMeAgain · 15/09/2024 16:50

Even if he were to have a bowl of cocopops every day or even two bowls a day, he's not going to starve and he's also more likely to grow out of the phase of wanting them every single day as he'll get bored of them quickly if they are readily available to him.
Also goes for having a banana - though you could try to get him onto smoothies if he likes milk and bananas - use natural yogurt and milk instead of icecream in the smoothie and throw in some strawberries or apples into the blender. He'll get a nutritious filler there and plenty of vitamins etc.

As for the relatives that seem to know better, well they don't. They are not even trying to walk a mile in your shoes. You must just look after yourself first (because if you don't, then there won't be anyone to really look after the kids). When your DH comes home from his countless trips away, you say that these are the rules in the house as you need to be consistent in how things are done for the benefit of the kids and as he isn't there as frequently as you are, it makes it easier when he goes off if the kids understand the consistence of the rules and how things are done. He should fall in line and as the kids get older, things will be a little more flexible but as they are so young it's the boundaries and consistency of approach that they will thrive under.

I'm sending you lots of strength to get through the weekend and the coming week and you will.

Try to pick your battles. I'd tidy away only the most played with toys/books and you can rotate the stock of toys so that they don't get bored or overstimulated by having all of their toys available all of the time.

As for wiggling out of car seats/buggies, have you tried putting the child into the car seat with an open coat and fastening the straps then closing the coat? Adding an extra layer of difficulty to the mix?

I'm sure that even if you're on top form yourself, even the most energetic two year old would tire that person out.

Fingers crossed that things start improving for you.

Commonsense22 · 15/09/2024 16:51

glassdo · 15/09/2024 13:58

I can't take them to the fucking park on my own. Sorry not swearing at you.

My two year old runs away all the time. It's far too dangerous and exhausting to take him anyway.

I have a big garden and he's been playing out there.

OP I'm sorry.
With 2 year old, harnesses are amazing. They really are great with toddlers who run all over the place.

Secondly, you might need to let go of the expectation the house will be tidy for a few years. It just needs to come second as a goal, after spending quality time with your kids. Have a tidy up time at the end of the day rather than trying to keep up with them all day long.

2 is a really difficult age and it won't be forever but getting out of the house has to be a priority I think - it really does sap some of their energy.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 15/09/2024 16:55

I have an autistic kid with pathological demand avoidance, is the next Usain bolt, has the skills of houdini when it comes to getting out of things and has absolutely no perception of danger or ability to risk assess and ARFID.

I completely empathise. My kid can be feral.

I think you need to lower your expectations though.

And if your husband won't help you while you're with him you aren't a partnership and I would consider leaving. I have left. I do it all alone and not having to live up to someone else's standards is so much better.

You can get safety tools for seat belts, they're designed for disabled kids or kids that can get out of a straight jacket.

Your kid doesn't need a cooked meal all the time.

Stop having visitors round, don't let your parents or in laws have the satisfaction of making you feel miserable in your own home.

Doodar · 15/09/2024 16:57

Do you work FT?,if not can you put him in nurse for an extra couple of days?
it sounds as though your partner is avoiding family life too, this sent fair on you.

DoYouReally · 15/09/2024 16:57

The problem here isn't you or your children. Your children sound like fairly normal energetic kids.

The problem is you are surrounded by judgmental idiots who prefer to stand on the sidelines criticising rather than being involved in anyway.

AdoraBell · 15/09/2024 17:00

Re your MIL saying you don’t allow the children to wear the clothes she’s bought, put the clothes on them and take a photo. Send the photo to your husband. Then direct her to DH when she says you don’t use the clothes.

Commonsense22 · 15/09/2024 17:00

Just adding- sorry for mentioning the harnesses as you'd already addressed that.

Our little one is an escape artist but some cat seats work better than others.

Ellepff · 15/09/2024 17:01

I get it. For about a year I was locked in with mine. They are 2 and 4 now and more chill (the 4yo is my more feral one). Still more of a handful than most. During that year I basically didn’t cook. Either oven meals or oven thing and rice or cheese and fruit or uber eats. I couldn’t chop an onion.

I struggled with toy rotation so much because if the kids weren’t around I was showering or sleeping. And then they’d wake the second my foot got in the bath.

I’d prioritize getting the garden safe. If husband is too busy, act like a sweet housewife in the 50s and ask FIL to do it. That should shame your DH and get a result. If your mum or MIL are over ask them to watch the kids for a bit while you run a load of laundry or clean the bathroom. Take extra time and watch some reels. None of these judgy people are worth trying to please. Plus when they watch the kids for a bit they might remember how feral kids are.

we did a lot on the floor - table cloth and playdough or paint or picnic. I’d also leave out a healthy food for a bit. My now 2yo went 6 months on 5 bananas a day. I let him. I put out other stuff too.

it was awful and I had more support than you. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 15/09/2024 17:04

EI12 · 15/09/2024 14:54

I was told by my parents (Asian) that after the first two times my db(s) and I were slapped, we became exemplary in our behaviour. We honestly do not remember the slapping, but I tend to believe them.

My ex was slapped by his Asian parents and ended up with massive anger management issues as an adult. Hence he is now an ex.

WearyAuldWumman · 15/09/2024 17:05

glassdo · 15/09/2024 13:58

I can't take them to the fucking park on my own. Sorry not swearing at you.

My two year old runs away all the time. It's far too dangerous and exhausting to take him anyway.

I have a big garden and he's been playing out there.

Do you have a set of safety reins/harness for him? If not, they'd be a good investment.

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