If you're sharing the cost of the meal there's certain things you don't go for

[alpacachino]

If you're out with a group and you usually split the cost of the meal you don't choose the mixed grill or the steak right? You stick to the main menu.

Or AIBU and just grumpy at my brother in law

You said you’d be happy to pay for it all. That’s what I was responding to.

The OP is eating in Wetherspoons you pay at the time of ordering Its actually easier to pay for yourself than split the bill in there.

I don't know why anyone splits the bill equally, it is just as easy for everyone to pay for what they have had, rather than divide the bill by the number of people, the only problem is the ones who underestimate what they have spent, and they are the ones who like splitting the bill equally, the tight bastards!

If I would order smth that is massively more expensive than average cost of the other orders I would have suggested to pay separately.

I have a friend who does pick the steak or an expensive meal from the menu - she always insists on putting more in, when we split the bill. Others will have pudding and wine but don't offer more up.

I will always do a quick toto up of what I had, so wine £9 meal £17 and coffee £4

So if the bill is spilt and each needs to pay £25 - I will say no I'll pop £30 in the pot, so I make sure mine is covered

IME if we are with friends we most often end up sharing mains and starters, and we order bottle of wine (not by glass) so it is easier to split the bill equally.

Just tell everybody at the outset that you and your spouse are going to ask for a separate bill. If everone else wants to split the remainder of the cost, then that's up to them.

It might be interesting to see how much longer the "family custom" of splitting the bill equally continues after you've unilaterally dropped out...

(Obviously your spouse needs to be on board befroehand - unless you are happy to go it alone. Does your spouse know how you feel a bout this?)

Fair point if it was my dad I'd probably think fair enough

I wouldn't choose anything different from what I'd normally have so I'd have the steak or fish. But if what I had chosen was considerably more than everyone else's, I'd be paying the difference- I don't expect others to subsidise my choice.

Thank you. It's hard in this medium to tell who's being sneery so sorry if I over reacted. If you want a mixed grill I suggest looking at "family pubs" and chains. They often have one.

OP I have become unusually interested what makes up a mixed grill and have checked out the Harvester menu. It seems that the ultimate mixed grill at nearly £27 is about £12 more expensive than things like fish and chips. Honestly that £12 split between everyone else is nothing at all (and if he is going for the basic mixed grill it’s only about £5 difference).

I am really surprised that you can get yourself annoyed about this and even more surprised that more than half of the people voting agree with you.

That's a good idea

Family. BIL is the culprit

Ah weatherspoons was just an example. Often it's harvester and a sizzling grill pub.

Have to say, am really enjoying the amount of mixed grill research this thread has generated.

The crux of it is that your BIL is probably a bit of a knob in other respects and that’s why his ordering the mixed grill every time grates on you. You aren’t wrong to resent his poor treatment of your sister.

You clearly don’t like your BIL, that’s the issue here.

In the real world there is no “unwritten rule” and I’d hate to think people were policing (or even noticing!) what I order when I’m in a restaurant.

I think YABU to call someone greedy because of the food options they choose. If I’m eating out, I don’t expect others to police my choices.

You’ve only got a problem with this because you’re too chicken to speak up. Sorry, but that’s entirely on you I’m afraid.

I refuse to split the bill in a group situation and have always insisted we pay for our own meals. I’ve done this for over 30yrs because I don’t drink alcohol and have no intention of subsidising others to get pissed. Yes, in the early days some people would bitch about having to work out what they owe, but I don’t let the opinions of others negatively affect me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably if you all paid for your own meals, you’d be fine with him eating more than you although I expect you’d find something else to complain about as you don’t like your BIL?

Instead of finding excuses to feel annoyed with him, own your feelings on the matter and be brave enough to say ‘I want to pay for my own drinks and meals from now on’.

You can still dislike him if you want to. He’s probably an arsehole and thoroughly deserves your scorn. 😁

I would just rather pay for what I have for both not wanting to be taken for a mug and for not worrying about ordering more than my fair share

No. There's really not 😂

That's the thing though its £12 more expensive. So he should be offering to pay the £12 but he's not. And it annoys me.

Yeah I think that's probably true.

Are you watching the pennies? If not, I’d not care what anyone ordered.

I'm watching the £ not quite at pennies yet

let them get funny then. Either it annoys you enough to tell them to stop, or it doesn't.

I don't care what people think/say so i'd either: order a starter, the most expensive thing on the menu and a dessert, or I'd just say "BIL you should stick a fiver/tenner more in the pot on account of being a stingy greedy fucker"