Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

Right, so he drinks every night but doesn’t want you to do it at all ? A few gins once or twice a week is fine. His behaviour isn’t. It’s coercive and controlling. I hardly ever say this but really OP, you need to dump him.

Ignore the dramatics imagining you’re drinking a bottle of gin every night, three G&Ts twice a week is totally normal.

He sounds like the one with issues.

society would be overall much better without alcohol

I get that you don't drink often or regularly, op. From what you say, there is no drink problem for you.

Your husband, on the other hand, drinks every night.

He is unreasonable.

Your partner needs to mind his own business OP. Unless you're throwing crockery at him and being sick in his shoes, I don't understand how it affects him.

Get him to fuck! He's not the boss of you and clearly thinks he is. Coming home off a nightshift and drinking four cans is weird then planning to drink more when he gets up. Whilst you clean, do washing, go to the shop for his booze and he wakes up and thinks he can go mental at you for planning on having a few. I wouldn't even think twice about ending a relationship with someone like that after four years. Guessing it's likely your home he's in. It's not modelling a healthy relationship to your son letting him treat you like that.

He thinks you have a problem. If you are being honest is he right?

He sounds like a berk. Does he have any good points?

4-6 units of alcohol twice a week is not that much. It is generally under the max recommended for women. "Over the limit" applies only to driving, it's quite possible to be fine for most decision making after 2-3 glasses of gin.

@UrbanFan no he's not right.

He does get shitty when he's had a drink. Calls me names, called me fat and disabled last time cos I had back ache after a ten hour shift. Yeah I'm fat but not disabled but found it offensive. Think it is time to give the boot. House and bills in my name. And can manage without him financial wise I did before.

MN is hysterical about drink, if you're a parent you must always be ready for a middle of night drive to A&E.
He comes in off nights and drinks 4 cans? that's an issue not you having a few of an evening.
Get him to fuck out your house.

Glad you have come to that realisation. He sounds absolutely vile. Your partner should be adding to your life and self esteem by being a part of it not taking away from it.

That’s not what we’re discussing though, people who don’t have issues with alcohol are perfectly capable of having a couple of drinks and going about their lives.

Tell him he's an outrageous hypocrite and to Fuck Off out of your life!

What an ass. You're OK OP, you don't need this wanker in your life. Kick him to the kerb.

Cheers! 🍸

Is there any children at home? If yes, 1 adults should ideally to be below the limit - so able to drive if an emergency/able to make clear headed decisions.
If there isn't, and this isn't every night, then he sounds a bit controlling.

Also I don't drink that much at home as my son's grandad on his dad's side died from alcohol when he was younger. So I'm not daft to put my son through it as I seen first hand what it does to kids when I was with his dad.

He ordered you to go and get him drink?He calls you names? He's a hypocrite and controlling?

Get rid.

You could always read the thread if you want this sort of info you know.

Sounds like you’ve come to a wise decision OP.

And you think this boyfriend is "showing a good example" to your teenage son? Really?

If my DP ever called me fat and disabled (which he never would!) and would think he could get away with that then he's strongly mistaken.. under the influence of alcohol or not.
OP.. look after yourself and your child first off. Don't let him control you and degrade you any more.

Jesus Christ he sounds awful! Get rid, enjoy your G&Ts in peace.

Yeah, that would be a big Fuck Off from me. There’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks in your own home a couple of times a week, and nothing wrong with going out with a friend to a pub. He’s trying to control you and he’s somehow allowed to get drunk and call you names?! His behaviour sounds appalling, please go through with it and kick him out.

But you ARE putting your son through it, by having your boyfriend around. Your son will be picking up on his habits just as much as yours.

The problem is that he is an alcoholic, and can't bear the thought of you being at home having a drink while he is at work. He's jealous and probably thinks it's "not fair"

At first I thought 'controlling dick'. But I'm leaning more towards 'justifiably concerned'...