Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

What do you mean he won't let you?
How does he stop you?

Also, he sounds like a nasty twat. Are you sure you want to stay with him?

😂 bring on prohibition eh?

As usual @WitchyPoos a post where a woman with a child talks about having a drink at home has brought the pearly clutching lunatics out. Once your uterus has been activated you can’t even smell alcohol for 18 years so you can be on alert for these apparently regular trips to a&e at high speed.

It’s clear his issue is not with you drinking or your behaviour when drinking. He just wants something to pick at you for (like some of the replies on here, some people like to kick others to feel better about themselves).

You’ve said you get bollocked at home. He is not the boss of you. You should be free to live as you want in your own home without a hypocritical bully giving you grief.

Why do you think you should tolerate this?

This. Though, equally, if he's not getting pissed after 4+ cans on a morning, then it's likely he has a drink problem too.

@Jumpingthruhoops ’justifiably concerned’ is a great catchphrase to excuse what is clearly controlling twatty behaviour disguised as moral superiority. I’d be more concerned about that tendency than having a few gins once or twice a week.

Do you think that someone who drinks every day is likely to be "justifiably concerned" about someone who drinks twice a week?

Definitely sounds like you should give him the boot.

You say you drink at home as though it’s better than going out and drinking socially.

Personally, I think that more than a single glass of wine or G&T to take the edge off the day when home alone is unhealthy, and suggests alcohol as a coping mechanism.

That’s just me though. You need to talk to your partner and find out where he is coming from with this. Maybe he had alcoholic parents or something. Perhaps he is worried about your mental health. Or, maybe he is controlling. If it’s ONLY alcohol he is controlling about though, there is most probably an issue somewhere to explore, either yours or his.

I don’t have kids but seeing yet another thread where a mother is scolded for having even a sniff of gin of a week night in case of the midnight A&E run makes me want to ask - how often does this happen?

I have siblings, nieces, nephews, godchildren and friends with kids and not once have any of them had to make a dash to a&e and not been able to because someone has dared have a drink whilst having a child in their care.

It’s always trotted out to shame people yet seems to be such a rare happening, where did the lore come from? From the same place as a small chicken being enough to feed a family of 5 for a week and a lettuce leaf being more than enough sustenance for a ‘normal sized’ adult woman?

Urgh i will RTFT but this reminded me of my ex who also didn't like me drinking alcohol. He also didn't like me drinking coffee. or eating garlic. or even smoky bacon crisps. Lucky I didn't live with him, but even so it wasn't easy to escape his clutches. You've specifically asked about alcohol so that's why you're getting some unhelpful responses. I'll carry on reading, and I bet it ends up he's a controlling prick. But is there anything else he doesn't like you doing?

Great idea! 👍

The only thing wrong with your boyfriend is that he should be your ex-boyfriend.

Not at all. I commented on that before reading that he drinks every day.

If I'm honest, it sounds like they both have a tricky relationship with alcohol.

@WitchyPoos not wanting you to drink is controlling, but 3 double G&Ts is excessive for drinking on your own! That's about 500 calories and 25% of your daily calorie intake!

You do know that two things can exist at the same time? ie, she can drink too much and he can be a twat (who also drinks too much!)

There are approx 28 measures in a 70cl bottle, she’s having 4 - 6 measures once or twice a week according to her replies, so less than half a bottle over the week.

Totally unacceptable. Tell him to fuck off, he’s not your boss.

Tell him to get fucked. None of his business

it was the sanctimonious comment you made that i commented about

People are so judgemental on here!! Having a few drinks to unwind after work or while out socialising with friends is absolutely normal! I wonder if it’s the gin he has an issue with? You know they used to call it “a mother’s ruin” there’s definitely something underlying here. Did his mum drink? Whatever it is, it seems like a HIM issue not a you issue!

We really can't tell if he's being controlling or if you have a drinking problem. You'll need to ask someone closer to the situation.

Sorry @timenowplease i had skipped some comments and just realised you have already realised your mistake on the maths there, didn’t mean to pile on!

I do, thanks. I also know that some people’s attitude to alcohol is ridiculously judgemental whilst also knowing that drinking problems exist.

Sounds like you're drinking a lot, I would be worried too.

If you're not getting rat arsed, getting rude, annoying, injuring yourself or others, drunk driving or doing anything embarrassing (to you) then I don't see what his issue is.
It can't really be the alcohol use. Unless he's sober due to addiction, had alcoholic abusive parents or ex partner, then I guess he could find it triggering.
But he needs to explain that rather than just trying to ban you from drinking.
Would he be happy for you to meet friends at locations that don't necessarily involve booze?
It could be he's jealous of your social life.
You need to try and ask him what it is that upsets him so much about it.
It could be something to do with your behaviour, or it could be unreasonable and him being controlling or paranoid.