Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

(1) That is not the official advice and even the official advice is based on a pub measure which let's be honest a home pour never is.
(2) OP only gave the child's age minutes before I posted. I had already clicked on the thread at that point. Nor had she posted the number of times she drank a week at that point, just that they were doubles, and bearing in mind that the original post is suggestive that it's every night. OP has drip-fed information and early posters are not mind readers.

If, as OP says, she is only drinking once or twice a week, and isn’t over estimating what a pub measure would be, then she’s just under the recommended weekly limit. And he’s drinking himself - in the mornings too, when he comes in off a night shift. Pot, kettle, black.

And also given how much information there is to support the notion that her partner is abusive when he’s had a drink himself.

Am I the only person who actually measures out drinks at home? These comments make it sound like a ‘home pour’ double is about half a pint of gin 😂

Are you having two or three doubles every night? If so in my book that’s quite a lot , 1 unit in each shot- so 6 a night so 42 units a week. Whereas the recommended max amount of units for a woman is 14, so you are drinking 3 times over the nhs recommendations a week. If you’re just having two doubles then you are still twice above. I’m not an expert on alcoholism- I don’t know if you class it as that but it’s not healthy either way and I would really try to reflect on that and think how you could cut back slowly over time

OP has said several times that it’s only once or twice a week. If the doubles are pub measure then it’s not even up to the recommended weekly limit, let alone 42 units a week. And whether or not she is drinking over the limit here isn’t really the point. The point is her partner who drinks whenever he feels like it, including in the mornings after a night shift, and who is abusive after alcohol, is trying to dictate when she can and can’t have a drink.

I enjoy a gin and tonic at home too - cheaper and more relaxing that the pub. I have health issues so can’t drink much alcohol and I invested in a jigger. It gives peace of mind that the alcohol units are accurate and I’m not overdoing it.

I haven’t read through every single post, it should have been made clear at the start so everyone doesn’t need to do that

This thread is absolutely batshit crazy! OP is living with a lazy, abusive partner who drinks 4 cans of beer after a night shift, demands she buys him more and yet posters are getting their knickers in a twist about a couple of gins twice a week.

Does come across as a bit of snobbery being directed your way. I wonder if the posters would be so down on you if it were a 'naice' bottle of wine that you were sipping whilst cuddling with hubby in front of a log fire!

OP I would keep your gin, and put your useless partner in the recycling bin. Enjoy your night out with your friends.

You do not have a drinking problem OP, if you do, so do I 🤣, I drink wine most nights of the week, do I enjoy it? Yes? Am I hurting anybody? No

honestly mumsnet views on alcohol is bizarre. Everybody I know must be an alcoholic

You don’t need to read through every single post, just go to the top right hand of the OP and click on ‘see all’. That way you can see all the OP’s updates without having to read the whole thread.

This thread is wild. 2-3 alcoholic drinks a week and someone has a 'drinking problem' I wonder what is okay to drink then?!! Bloody hell.

If I’m drinking gin and tonic, I measure the gin to ensure I get the mix the way I like it. 50ml gin (2 units) and a 150ml can of my favorite tonic, served over a couple of medium sized ice cubes. Just perfection in a glass.
So I think many people actually will measure their gin volume and know how many units they are consuming.
However it is their decision, fuck all to do with anyone else!

Any non alcoholic beverage I think it's safe to say. Especially if you're a parent with a child at home 🥴

Surely no one thinks 2-3 alcoholic drinks makes someone an alcoholic so they?!

Evidently on mumsnet it does! You are also an alcoholic if you drink at home, alone. Am off to aldi to buy a bottle of malbec, which I shall sip contentedly tonight whilst watching Netflix (on my own). But I am a bit common lol.

Wow. Even you must know how extreme and odd that is.

Yes I do. Hence the sarcasm.

He’s starting to control you, does he get jealous? Try to control anything else in your life? I had an ex like this when I was a lot younger ( first boyfriend) started with not liking my friends, then not liking me going out with friends, then didn’t like me drinking/smoking said it made me look like a slag. Get rid op

Good lord, this thread. For everyone suggesting the problem is your drinking, I want to ask them if they understand, that even if OP did have a drinking problem, her partner can STILL be a controlling arsehole, and which problem do you think is more important to solve first? It’s not an either or situation.

OP, the man has no respect for you and treats you terribly. I think you really need to consider kicking him out.

3 double gins would never get anyone pissed. Are you teetotal?

It would get me very pissed indeed! I’m not teetotal but have very low tolerance.

Are you joking?

Many people would be pretty drunk on 3 doubles!

Definitely boot time. Who wants a shitty hypocrite deflecting from his own faults as a "partner"

Sounds delicious! I love a g&t. I definitely agree it’s nobody else’s business if they choose to have a couple of drinks, I think the judgement on this thread is bizarre. I just wondered if I was odd for measuring haha.