Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

"So nasty". Sheesh.

Anyway, I agree with you. He's in no position to comment. If he's drinking every night, sounds like he's more likely to be the one with an actual drinking problem. Maybe he's trying to deflect.

@Butchyrestingface I didn't mean my comment to come across like that I just use emojis a lot. I just question a lot these days. Like i get bollocked all the time at home. I'm a manager at work and I tell my staff off at for coming in hungover so one thing I don't do is that and drink on a work night.

Right, well. I think most people will agree that he sounds unpleasant and controlling.

If you can edit your OP to include the information about HIS drinking habits, I'd do that. Otherwise you're likely to get a load of posters coming on to tell you that this paragon is virtue is probably justifiably concerned about your drinking. The fact that he potentially drinks like a fish is VERY relevant to the situation.

If you're not getting pissed after 3 double gins in an evening, I suspect he's worried you have a drinking problem.

It sounds like your partner wants to control you, for no better reason that he’s bigger and uglier.

He won’t get any better. Today it’s about alcohol, which he enjoys himself; next it will be something else he doesn’t approve of in a woman

Do you really want him in your life?

He sounds awful OP and your relationship sounds terrible. Get rid if you can. He also sounds like he had alcohol dependency issues.

Drinking six doubles in a night isn’t good for you (even if you’re not drinking on other nights). But you know that. Maybe question why you feel the need to drink so much - what are you trying to block out.

@Butchyrestingface thanks. I don't post a lot and realise i drip fed my bad 😅

A lot of backstory where he questions everything ... I get bollocked all the time at home.

Sounds like you've got yourself an alcohol-dependent control freak here, @WitchyPoos. A partner's supposed to lift you up, make your life feel better, not bully you and boss you around.

From your comments, it sounds like he treats you as his personal maid and is trying to undermine you to keep you under control.

Bin him!

I don't drink 6 double in a night it's 2 or 3 tops

Do you mean it’s a problem if she has 3 double gins at home on a regular basis? Like wine o’clock for knackered mums and dads but gin o’clock?

If I have doubles (they probably are) at home and then maybe similar when out I don’t see it’s a problem and it’s way down on drinking lots which I did when younger.

I think he sounds very controlling OP

Neither of you are unreasonable you just aren’t a good match. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who drinks a few times a week at home either because I’m more or less teetotal and that doesn’t line up with what I’d enjoy spending my time doing. Not a problem, no judgement, just not me, so I wouldn’t be with someone who does enjoy it. Likewise someone who enjoys sharing a bottle with a partner at the weekend or socialising in a pub wouldn’t want to be with me and that’s ok too. He shouldn’t be trying to control what you enjoy and what you do. If he’s not happy to be with someone who drinks the way you do he should leave. If you don’t want to be controlled (which you shouldn’t be) you should leave. It’s a bad match.

@Ivehearditbothways

People are allowed to 'drink alone'. It's not a crime. It drives my mad that smug married seem to feel it's their right to look down on people 'drinking alone' like it's some moral failing.

Sorry but I wouldn’t be putting up with this behaviour. A grown adult can have a few drinks at home if they want. He sounds awful. Get rid OP

i never understand that logic, a person could be doing x and then saying to someone else its not safe, but some will say you cannot say that because your doing x but the bottom line is its still eg unsafe reguardless of whos doing it first etc

That's a lot.
You need to rein this in.

Unless he can justify why he doesn’t like it, eg you’re aggressive when drunk/he worries about your health because you drink a lot etc, then he’s just being controlling. He’s not the boss of you, so don’t let him be.

Your calculations are way out of you think this equals more than a bottle a week!

A double measure if gin is 50 ml. So OP is having 100ml to 150ml gin one night a week. You think that's a lot?

You don't understand the logic of questioning why someone who drinks like a lord should feel entitled to harangue their partner, who drinks less (frequently)?

Would he be the same if you went to the pub with your friends and just had a cola? Is it that he doesn’t like you seeing your friends?

Although whatever, he should not be going off at you and losing it at you at all. Unless maybe you were endangering child with problem drinking, but it doesn’t sound like that

It's not really about you drinking is it. It's about him getting angry, about him drinking every night, and probably a lot more stuff.

I would kick him out just for his anger tbh, your relationship sounds over.

MN. People always be bragging about their weekend cocaine habit, but go nuts about a couple of gins.

OP your bf sounds like a prick. Pack him in. Enjoy your gin!

Ignore people on here suggesting you are an alcoholic, in the real world a lot of people relax at home with an alcoholic drink and you are well within the recommenced weekly limit for a female. He sounds controlling.

Ffs you couldn’t even make posts like this up 😂😂😂