Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

So he drinks every night but thinks you shouldn't have a drink at all unless he's there? But he drinks when you're not there?

If that's what your genuinely drinking thats fine then your partner is controlling. But when I was an alcoholic I was in complete denial with myself about how much I drank and about what impact that had on myself and others.

It's really not normal to get pissed on 150ml gin!

Atm my days off are Wednesday and Saturday. So maybe have a few Friday. One Saturday a month i maybe see friends so won't drink the Friday but I don't have a lot as work the Sundays. Tuesday evening I won't drink as i work till 11pm.

Does this settle all the pearl clutchers that think I drink too much?

@PinkyFlamingo I don't get drunk on that never said I did

I think the real issue here is that he's calling you out for drinking as a distraction from the fact that HE appears to have an alcohol problem.

Personally I think drinking alone at home 'to relax' / cope with stress is a slippery slope. But you sound like you are drinking nowhere near as much as him.

I know one just like this . Was the most horrible narcassist around .

it’s staring with the drinking then it will be something else you enjoy he will take from you.
slowly you will be allowed no joy in your life.

Does he like a drink . ?

Yes she clearly does have a problem and she needs to sort it out.

She has shit taste in men and he needs dumping.

Yes he is projecting !

get rid and f the twat and don’t let him suck any more joy from your life.

I don’t think you have an alcohol problem but you are the only one who can answer that honestly

@FeedingThem I know that now 😂

So he drinks every day and has a go at you for drinking? Sounds like he's a controlling arsehole and you'd be better off without him there, especially if he's abusive and calls you nasty names 😔 is he controlling in other areas of your life?

God who cares??? He’s a judgy, rude, hypocritical arse, that seems a far more pertinent point.

I genuinely don't drink much at all. Not because I have an issue with it but just because I can't be arsed to buy it.

In 14 years of parenting, I have NEVER had a middle of the night dash to the hospital requiring complete sobriety (other then when I gave birth but clearly wasn't drinking anyway!). Never sure why this is trotted out as a thing on MN.

Idiotic statements like this actually make it harder to get people who have drinking problems to admit it.

There are actual, verifiable criteria used by professionals to confirm alcoholism.

Moral leaps of self righteousness like this shite are not included in that diagnostic criteria. At least not for drinking. For blockheaded stupidity, maybe.

He is an abusive controlling man. Leave him. Ignore people saying you're the one with the problem.

Please get this horror out of your home.
You have brought an abusive man into your home.

Get him out.
Get him away from your son.
He is a controlling prick.
Get him out.

What an absurd comment.

You say you want to set a good example to your son yet you have a boyfriend that controls you. Show you son that controlling behaviour is wrong. Get rid of the boyfriend.

Have you considered people are judgemental because drinking problems exist? Too many people have had their lives ruined by it. So, guess what? They judge!
It's not remotely 'ridiculous' to suggest that someone drinking a few homemade double G&Ts (so, a lot stronger than pub measures) during the week - or indeed four cans of lager on a morning - is at risk of developing a drink problem. That's if they haven't got one already.

Are you quite ok? Can no part of you see how illogical and hysterical your post is.

how do you get through life. Do you hide away, panicked about alcohol?

Not the odd glass of wine on a Friday night. But multiple double spirits on an evening and 4+ cans on a morning, is definitely entering 'session' territory...

Bollocks

You absolutely do not drink too much. Alot of people on mumsnet think you couldn't even eat a trifle without being an alcoholic or without crying "won't someone think of the children", it's a strange place.

One glass of wine with dinner against three double G&Ts a few times a week is a bit different, no?

He's an arsehole who is unpleasant to you and calls you names in your own home. Perhaps it is time to think abou dumping him. You don't want your 16 year-old to start thinking that this is how men are supposed to treat women.