Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

@Laura95167 I can assure you that 1 measure is gin is 1 unit and it isn't considered a lot by medical professionals

That is a lot of gin. Maybe he is right to be concerned....

It might be that 1 unit of gin isnt a lot but if you're having 2 or 3 home poured "doubles" that's 4 - 6 units a day if they actually are standard measures.

Obviously it depends how regularly OP has these 2-3 doubles, and if they're standard measures.

It's a hard one to call because any time someone says my bf/gf/dp/dh/dw etc says their OH "isn't allowed" my instinct is red flag, but I think with alcohol and home measures there's a Qn is OH being controlling or is their a concern.

No e of his business. He's controlling and it's 🚩🚩🚩

She literally says 1-2 times a week in this thread. OP also said about how much BF drinks too - every day, even in the morning after a shift.

Note how for the people who want to claim it’s too much, they have to keep adding on extra drinks that aren’t taking place to support their claim.

The content is clear - OP has a controlling BF. Not only is she not allowed a drink in her own home without him, but she’s not allowed one when out with friends either. But instead, posters have ignored the whooping red flags and decided instead to kick the boot in a woman who already appears to be in an abusive relationship (calling her ‘fat and disabled’ when he’s had a few of his own drinks).

This is an odd assumption to make given there’s no indication that’s the issue.

@Laura95167 she said once or twice a week. So not much at all. I have no idea why so many people on this thread thinks that is too much 🤷‍♀️

Oh well if it's true measures and twice a week then yeah it's OK and he's controlling

It doesn’t matter how much you drink. It’s none of his business. Do you live with him?

I think your bloke is unreasonable.
As long as you're not off your face regularly or behaving badly, he can mind his own!

Yes, really tired of all the judgey remarks. In fact, give it a page or two and you'll be a raving dipsomaniac who feeds her child gin to keep him quiet.

She said she drank alcohol she didn’t say she was drunk. Don’t you recognise controlling behaviour? It’s much discussed in mumsnet. Have a look around.

OP as long as you are not inebriated, nor doing this every night it’s none of his business. Do check total units per week (12 for women?) and do have nights off.

maybe the middle class on MN are judging you on here because you are having double gins. If you were knocking back a bottle of wine that would be perfectly acceptable even though more units.

that being said it is easy to become a nightly habit- Covid being a case in point, so watch it doesn’t increase but it ain’t your boyfriends right to dictate to you.

True (I didnt read all the thread.)

Everyone is missing the point. OP isn’t an alcoholic, her partner is controlling x

BF doesn’t sound good news but you’ve been together 4 years, is this behaviour new?

Although 6 units might be a lot in one go, you’ve clarified you don’t drink often and it’s already controlled by you.

From what you say it doesn’t seem you have an alcohol problem but BF problem.

No I know but someone else said you did!

Yes I agree and I used to have a drink problem, now sober.

any partner who wouldn’t “let” me do something would be told to get to fuck, sharpish.

The child is 16
She doesn’t drive
she drinks 12 units of alcohol a week.

I don’t drink at all now but she’s hardly in alcoholic territory

Read the thread. I don’t drink and think alcohol causes a lot of damage, but that isn’t the issue here.

You drink too much OP. You keep changing what you say re. the amount/regularity that you drink. & the laughing emojis.

Then later the dripfeed that your bf drinks too...

None of it sounds healthy, neither on his part or yours. Whoever is in the right or wrong you don't sound compatible. & with a young teen in the house, arguments about alcohol wont go over his head will they. But if you want to drink its your right, just tell your bf that and if he doesnt agree then you know what to do.

He sounds like a controlling tosser, one rule for him and another rule for you on alcohol. He doesn’t like you seeing friends and calls you names, I don’t think you should keep that around. Imagine what your son is learning by hearing him call you fat and disabled like they are reasons to punch down on someone.

separately, you may not have a problem with alcohol but it’s worth assessing with clear eyes. A bottle of gin every 3 weeks is about 8 drinks a week, which is far more than recommended on a regular basis. I’d see about cutting that down if I were you.

Not you, its him. Controlling.

I think its because he first response was just about the 2-3 doubles in the house, which might not be "doubles" if they're hand poured and she didn't initially quantify the amount of times she was having it.

You have to go right through the thread to get the additional info that it's 1-2 times a week and he's not just saying don't drink he's being abusive too and drinking himself.

I don't think people are "sticking the boot in" so much as from the info in the first post and comment showing concern.

However you're right with the additional info he sounds awful and she needs to leave

Well OP drink as much as you like then.
Why bothering to ask anyone if you know you do not overdo it so is your partner who is at fault?
Why don't you just go with what you know? Instead of summoning strangers' opinions to then be rather opinionated and rude back.

@MushMonster

shes getting such ridiculous replies though - people telling her she has an alcohol problem, people telling her she shouldn’t drink with a ‘child’ in the house etc - I can see why she might be a bit terse!