to get pissed off with all those surveys that say working mums screw kids up...because I'm fine ..are you guys? did your mum work? we need to sort this argument out once and for all!

[MicrowaveOnly]

Because that's the real question some of the age old threads could be asking

My mother gave up a job she enjoyed when she got married because it was the done thing. She got pregnant very soon after, and looked after us pretty much full time until I was most of the way through primary school (I'm the youngest of four). She did some voluntary work and taught a bit, and then trained to be a teacher and taught, mostly part time until retirement. Now she is a very powerful advocate for her chosen charity which clearly gives her a huge amount of satisfaction. I think it is sad that she didn't find this until her 60's-70's. I think she would have done great stuff, and to be honest I think we would all have been happier if she had had more of an outlet for her energy when we were growing up. Having said that we had what might be thought of as idylic childhoods, and there are some aspects that I would like to recreate for my children but won't be able to because I work full time.

i am not, have i touched a nerve?curious to know about your dispensation of judgements and differentiating between compulsion and choice

Once again, I would say that you sound quite aggressive
You asked if "I had a God complex or something?"
That sounds quite aggressivve to me
Also, your judgement of me seems pretty clear

I am also interested about the supposed difference between compulsion and choice. This came up on the (now full) thread last night.

I agree with scottish mummy in that I am compelled to work, because staying at home full-time would turn me into a complete basket-case.

As one person's choice is another's necessity I don't think it's a very useful distinction. Surely the thing that matters is whether your family's arrangements work or don't, and whether you can do anything about the problems that occur along the way?

nope you are digressing and trying to attribute sentiments i have not expressed.i have solely queried your position

My choice related to financial - as I stated in my post. Not those who return for other reasons. I said this earlier on
I am loving being attacked by all you feminists by the way
Well done for showing your sisterhood

did you or did you not scottish ask if I had a God complex?
Not digressing, just pointing out your aggressiveness IMO

you continue to digress and attribute sentiments i have not expressed.

You can only do your best! As a mom you are always going to find a reason to feel guilty about something. I am a nanny and a mom and take my daughter to work with me. I am really grateful that i can earn a good salary and have my lo with me all day yet i still feel bad that i have to drag her out every morning at 7.30 and get home in the evening at 7.00. I have to keep telling myself that it could be worse and i am trying my best to do the best i can. Dont worry about what everyone else says, as long as you know you are doing your best!

So that comment was not addressed to me? (the one about God complex?)

@stressteddy. Do you have a problem with feminists?

I am a feminsist. I believe in choice and equal opportunities for all women. That doesn't mean I have to agree with every woman who posts on internet message boards tho'.

No probelm with feminists. I would consider myself to be one, as would you if you met me

your clearly feeling a bitty sensitised here and believe you being attacked by feminists by the way and berated by the sisterhood, oh and you believe i have "judged You"

so not only do you have a god complex curiously you seem to believe you are also persecuted by feminist sisterhood too

you know i did indeed say god complex you have cut and pasted it enough!

My mum went back to work when I was 7 (my little bro 5). We're all fine. It's bollocks imo, but I am a SAHM anyway and probably totally screwing dd up.

and finally, you admit it after several posts that have made ME out to be the aggressive one

Thank you
And it is at this point that I bid you all a goodnight

admit what!anyone who cares to scroll back can see.

Stressteddy- you didn't sound aggressive- just slightly hysterical.

BTW, you forgot to put at the end of your post.

Goodnight!!!

Given the modern conveniences (M+S, dry cleaners?) the SAHMs job is not even comparable to that of a generation ago.

I would never be able to find satisfaction in the domestic chores (or oversight of) on a day in and day out basis. I need more than that ? I need a sense of achievement and advancement and I?m v fing tired of women in particularly telling me this is not my given right as a human being.

Because I became a mother I am therefore to acquiesce any desire for betterment.

hahahhahaha

--> hollow laugh at the "once and for all bit" Freeze, hell and over spring to mind in connection with this debate ending.

more chance of Jodi Marsh dressing tastefully than this debate resolving amicably

I just do not see why SAHMs have to be sanctimommys about the whole thing... when you go back at them with the same gusto they get all offended... how do you think a single mom like myself feels when hearing nonsense about how 'damaging' wohm are..

hello i have no choice

Yes quite, hatrick.

Does this "big divide" actually matter.. surely we just do our best with our own and our family concerns / needs.