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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson

348 replies

Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:37

DS is 4.5 years old and has just started swimming lessons, stage 1 at his local leisure centre. It’s 8 children per class, one instructor and a lifeguard watching 2 classes in the pool.

He’s naturally quite a shy reserved boy and he doesn’t like going under water, he doesn't love going but he does need to learn to swim.

Last week he had a trial, whereby he used floats the whole time. However yesterday, the first thing the instructor got to do was all of the children to doggy paddle across the width of the pool (a small-ish pool) without any aids or support. The instructor was standing a few metres in front whilst all 8 children doggy paddled at the same time. DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is. It was inevitable he was going to go under, and he did. The instructor wasn’t too near my DS so I started to run around to get him. After a few seconds one of the mums shouted towards me ‘it’s ok he’s back up!’ I looked and the instructor had him.

Now I genuinely do not believe he should have been asked to do that without any floats. If the children went one by one doing it with the teacher next to them then I get that. But not all 8 at the same time, with the instructor not close to him, and especially as he is a non swimmer and can barely touch the floor.

I want to complain but just wanted to check if this is normal or not.

AIBU in thinking this isn’t right and to complain?

OP posts:
Mammyplease · 15/09/2024 20:49

4.5 is a perfectly normal age to start teaching a child how to swim, why would or should OP have taken him to lessons earlier? Surely it's down to the teacher to be able to safely gage where along on their swimming journey each child is. A lot of lessons where I live start at age 5, I hate the group sessions one on one is far better or teach him yourself OP I taught my son it's really rewarding.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 15/09/2024 20:56

Any sensible pool has a 1 adult to 2 non swimmer ratio. 1 to 8 non swimmers without floats is stupid. If two are struggling what is the instructor going to do? Like you say, one at a time is fine. Our classes have 6 maximum and even then they don’t all swim without aids until stage 2.

Aimtodobetter · 15/09/2024 21:08

doodleschnoodle · 15/09/2024 20:47

So you let go of your baby without warning and they ingested water and came up coughing and spluttering and crying on their first lesson? Like what happened to OP's son?

I'm going to assume not as that would be incredibly cruel, so that's totally different.

Its the standard Waterbabies curriculum and you do warn them (though at 6 months that is meaningless), then you do more than just let go, you actually pull them under water so that their little head is fully submersed as apparently this helps their instincts to kick in and they do sort of come up a bit shellshocked and sometimes a little upset at first but you immediately comfort them and bounce them up and down to make sure if they got any water they clear it immediately. It’s a pretty standard part of their swimming school experience, my 1 year old loves his classes and having seen the kids who are further along it seems to work well / they are one of the largest swim schools
for babies in the UK. It’s only for a couple of seconds instead of 5-10 but then a baby and a 4 year old as also quite different…

doodleschnoodle · 15/09/2024 21:18

Yeah I stopped doing those classes with DD as the obsession with 'dunking' your baby was really off-putting and I felt uncomfortable with it (and it felt like half of it was to push those hideously expensive underwater photo shoots!). We did games at home and with her at the pool instead until DD chose to put her head in the water herself, no tears or shellshock needed. But I accept that other people can favour different methods.

That said, there is no excuse for this to happen for a 4yo's first lesson. You are in the pool with your baby and in control when you choose to submerge them, which is a very different scenario to the OP's .

Goldbar · 15/09/2024 21:38

I don't understand why some posts seem to be confusing deliberately putting your head underwater as part of proper swimming technique (i.e. a deliberate action) with a swimmer slipping involuntarily under the water because they can't actually stay afloat. Surely these are different things entirely?

Whostolemymojo · 15/09/2024 22:26

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/09/2024 06:56

Has he not been swimming before? DS has been going under since baby classes and the ducklings all do too, long before stage one

Unhelpful comment award goes to…..

morningtoncrescent62 · 15/09/2024 22:40

Mamabear256 · 15/09/2024 18:06

We went swimming as a family today at a fun float session at the same pool he has his lessons. It helped put me at ease and I could actually see that when he stood up the water was up to the top of his chest, we did practice going under which he didn’t like but I kept reiterating for him to put his feet on the floor and stand up if he goes under, as I’m aware that even though he can stand up he may not in panic.

I have put him on a waiting list for 2-1 sessions which they said is only a months waiting time. I think I’d feel better with that. Until then, I’m not sure whether to continue his classes or not. But he enjoyed today.

That all sounds very positive, OP. Given that the waiting list is only a month, I'd be inclined to wait, unless your DS starts asking to go back to lessons. If you have the time & cash to keep doing the fun float sessions once a week while you're waiting, and keep on getting him used to the water, he'll probably get on faster in his 2-1 sessions once they start.

If your DS is keen and you decide to restart the classes, be careful not to let your anxiety show, as it'll likely make him more anxious too.

Olderbutt · 15/09/2024 22:51

As others have said going under is part and parcel of learning to swim . However, I think you have enrolled him too soon and are expecting too much of the classes.
He needs to be more used to water first. Why not take him swimming yourself at least once a week alongside these classes? He will soon get more confident.

Danielle9891 · 15/09/2024 23:33

It sounds like it was only a few seconds and you understandably panicked. The instructor had it sorted. My daughter has been going to swimming lessons since two and water babies before that and they very rarely use floats. I don't think they want the children to rely on them.

Ap42 · 15/09/2024 23:43

It sounds as though he needs to go back to ducklings stage. I have 2 children, my eldest is a water baby, my second not so much. Ducklings is all about play in the water, normally a shallow pool, with toys, balls and encouragement to get their faces wet and learn to blow bubbles. My youngest really needed this stage as she was quite scared of water. My eldest didn't need it at all as he had no fear.
I think this is more about your child than the swimming teacher. If he's not water confident he shouldn't be in stage 1 just yet.

CatherineDurrant · 15/09/2024 23:50

We have 6 in class, two instructors per class, both in the water and lifeguard watching. Local authority leisure centre class, nothing fancy.

I don't like the sound of your situation, what your DS was asked to do or his clearly negative experience. I'd be looking for another swim school.

Weiredeout · 15/09/2024 23:54

Imo ducklings lessons were great dc2 did 20w age 4-4.5yo And got to ducklings 3/4 she could swim length of the teaching pool on her back.
However she stopped due to covid and had somewhat forgotten when restarting at about 6.5yo.
So i now wouldnt bother till 6-7. As basically she then overtook every single kid that started stage 1 at the start of reception.
In ducklings 1 it was maybe 6 kids with staff in the water watch each one go across a width. No floats.

I wouldnt be happy with them encouraging doggy paddle.

But bear in mind kids could be in stage one quite a while so some of the 8 could be able to swim.

Mamabearandcubs · 16/09/2024 06:57

In my DC swimming lessons they don’t use floats at all to swim. DC is 3 and learnt to swim by swimming under water first.

Firethehorse · 16/09/2024 07:25

Hi OP I can see why you would be apprehensive and it sounds like DS was shocked/scared.
You could try taking him to the pool yourself before the next lesson and playing a ‘ducking’ game. We used to have the beginners in a circle singing ring a ring a roses and then they would drop hands and bob down for a second for the ‘we all fall down’.
It’s important to make it fun with lots of smiles and chat about how soon DS will be able to even swim under water etc.
You may need to acknowledge his fear but your confidence all is OK will help him.

boating32 · 16/09/2024 09:55

@LuckysDadsHat apologies it has taken me a while to come back to this. The ratios you quote are for school swimming lessons where the instructor not in the water and there are additional requirements for qualified teachers on the poolside etc.

The Swim England guidance for swimming lessons clearly stipulates the risks associated with teaching in the pool and recommends ratios of 4:1 maximum unless there is an assistant available in the water. See below. The reason being that it is more difficult for teachers in the water to spot swimmers in difficulty as was the case with the OPs child. There are other guidances around providing appropriate support for non-swimmers with floatation devices and manual holds.

So regardless of any opinion about the OP over-reacting or being lazy (?!) the lessons did not comply with guidance and the OP should look elsewhere.

My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson
confusedlots · 16/09/2024 10:01

This is why I took my children out of group swimming lessons. Our scenario was worse in that the instructor wasn't in the pool with them but at the side. My DD was ok because she was taller when they both started and could stand up and was generally more cautious. But DS couldn't stand up and didn't have any fear and my heart was in my mouth all the time and sometimes the instructor would go and get floats and have her back to them for at least a minute. He went under and struggled to get back up and I never sent them back, I was just too anxious all the time.

They now go to a private instructor who takes only the 2 of them in the lesson and who is in the water with them and it is so much better. More expensive but definitely worth it.

boating32 · 16/09/2024 11:53

I had an instructor turn their back on my non-swimming child which is why I read up on the official guidelines at the time. I moved to a different swim school.

Goodtogossip · 16/09/2024 12:41

I totally get that you panicked when you saw your DS go under, but by the sounds of it it was seconds & the instructor got to him & he was fine. You'd be over reacting if you complained as the instructor will be qualified & will know what her capabilities are & how many children she can teach safely at any one time. She did her job by getting to him with no harm done. Your Son needs to learn to go under & not panic so please don't stop his lessons. He'll benefit massively from a professional teaching him. By all means go swimming as a family so his confidence grows but also keep him in his lessons so he gets taught some invaluable skills.

MellersSmellers · 16/09/2024 22:15

My DD was a swim teacher from the age of 18 to 21 alongside Uni. She had a max of 6 in a class of kids that age, and always took the kids one by one making sure she was always in reach while the other kids stayed on the side. Safer Yes, but it had its own problems as the kids got cold waiting their turn and didn't of course get much personal practice. If you're not happy with their procedures then quit and go for a smaller group class.

MumTeacherofMany · 20/09/2024 16:45

She was in the pool, got to him instantly and beginners pool would be up to his waist roughly... he's fine OP. He'll "go under" learning to swim...

PennyApril54 · 07/02/2025 00:26

I think it is fine . Assuming these are trained instructors.

Redbone · 07/02/2025 18:09

YABVU . All children go under when learning to swim, mine certainly did! Spoke to my friend today, an experienced swimming teacher, and she agrees with me. She did tell me that several years ago an over anxious parent leapt into the pool to “save” her DD when she went under!

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 09/02/2025 09:11

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