My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson

[Mamabear256]

DS is 4.5 years old and has just started swimming lessons, stage 1 at his local leisure centre. It’s 8 children per class, one instructor and a lifeguard watching 2 classes in the pool.

He’s naturally quite a shy reserved boy and he doesn’t like going under water, he doesn't love going but he does need to learn to swim.

Last week he had a trial, whereby he used floats the whole time. However yesterday, the first thing the instructor got to do was all of the children to doggy paddle across the width of the pool (a small-ish pool) without any aids or support. The instructor was standing a few metres in front whilst all 8 children doggy paddled at the same time. DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is. It was inevitable he was going to go under, and he did. The instructor wasn’t too near my DS so I started to run around to get him. After a few seconds one of the mums shouted towards me ‘it’s ok he’s back up!’ I looked and the instructor had him.

Now I genuinely do not believe he should have been asked to do that without any floats. If the children went one by one doing it with the teacher next to them then I get that. But not all 8 at the same time, with the instructor not close to him, and especially as he is a non swimmer and can barely touch the floor.

I want to complain but just wanted to check if this is normal or not.

AIBU in thinking this isn’t right and to complain?

It's a good experience for your child what on earth are you getting ansty about. It's one of the best things that could happen to him from a learning point of view.

Also 4.5 is way too late to start swimming lessons, what have you been doing for the last four and a half years!! It's not the instructor that's got things wrong, look much closer to home for that!

Not it's not. I speak as a swimming teacher. Baby lessons are not swimming lessons. Ducklings is 3 upwards where we introducing water confidence, body positioning and blowing bubbles. Many come at 4 because they have more capacity to listen and follow instructions than when they are younger. My own dd was 4 years old when she started swimming she's a club swimmer with regional times so don't be having ago at the op for not bringing her child sooner.

What a ridiculous comment!

No it isn't. My DS had a bit of a stop start to swimming, developed a lot of anxiety about letting go of the side and eventually learned to swim at 7. He is now a teenager who competes at National Level. The right age to learn to swim is the age you are ready.

I’ve taken the useful advice here away this morning, we are going to go swimming sessions together as a family. I’ve been looking into private lessons too.

Going swimming as a family is one of the best things you can do for building water confidence and hopefully also having a lot of fun as a family - your younger child will also benefit immensely from being in the water at the same time.

Its hard when you work full time get pg have another and have to have 1:1 at the pool for every child under a certain age.

Also 4.5 is way too late to start swimming lessons, what have you been doing for the last four and a half years!!

Any decent swimming instructor will not teach children to swim under 4 year old - they would just encourage water play and building confidence in the water

OP, glad you have decided on more family swimming in the meantime. Frustrating that you have to walk through a shower to talk to someone! I can totally relate to being too tired/knackered from work to take a baby to a weekly swimming class.

COVID happened - where have you been? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@DearestGentleReader covid did not last for 4.5 years.

I think it's probably for the best that you couldn't talk to the instructor because you would have felt a bit daft afterwards.

He's in a pool where he can touch the floor, supervised 1:8 plus lifeguards. You would've asked the instructor if it was wise or usual to ask the children to have a go without floats. He'd have said yes perfectly normal, I do know how to teach kids to swim, sorry he was upset, hopefully he now knows to just stand up.

Family sessions sound like the way to go, definitely.

Hey OP - this is not any kind of normal behavior or instruction when our kids learnt to swim. We had much smaller ratios and very structured skills for a set class (eg you might start at tadpoles practicing floating and some other basics, when those skills are ticked off move to frogs, when those ticked off moved to turtles, then jellyfish, then sharks etc). So teachers absolutely know what kids can and cannot do even if they’ve not taken those kids before.

I remember ratios of love like 1:4 for littlies. Never 1:8

Kids swim 1 at a time until squad level swimming in our experience.

this is Australia. But if expect more from your swim school so a new in may be called for.

4.5 is a great age to learn to swim. They’re old enough to listen, take turns, manage the co ordination required, and can see results quick enough to feel successful. Both my kids learned around this age.

But studies from Australia suggest children start being able to master water confidence and basic aquatic locomotive skills at around four years of age, regardless of the age they are when lessons begin.

The same researchers also reported that regardless of whether lessons began at two, three or four years of age, children achieved the skills necessary to perform freestyle at five and a half years of age.

link from our Royal Life Saving Society

I think the comments that the child could touch the floor, and he wouldn't have drowned because there was an instructor and lifeguards within reach are totally missing the point. Just because a child of four-and-a-half who's unaccustomed to the water is tall enough to stand up doesn't mean that when he goes under he has the skills and confidence to get himself upright. And no, with those adults around he wasn't going to actually drown, but who wants their child to have a distressing experience of panicking in the water, with a few long moments of being terrified?

Anyway, the OP has said that she's going to have some family time in the water, getting him used to being in the pool and developing the confidence that he needs so that he can learn to swim. And I hope when the time's right for lessons again, she's able to find somewhere where it's easy and normal for parents and coaches to be able to talk.

It's the reason my similar aged son never got to swim as a baby/toddler. Then, like OP, I was far too pregnant/sick/exhausted from working full time to do anything about it immediately lockdown lifted.
So my son was also about 4.5 when he started lessons, otherwise he would have had his lessons as planned when he was a tot.

What an unpleasant post. The OP is trying to do the right thing by getting a professional to teach her son and all you can do is try to make her feel bad. If her sone needed to feel secure about going underwater before he started the lessons, the instructor should have said that when the parent booked.

Most courses of lessons for four-year-olds would start with splashing, getting face wet etc. to give them confidence, then maybe holding a float in front while kicking legs to move along, before trying to make them swim unaided.

Well I don't agree @Miffylou - first and foremost it's the parents responsibility to research and find out what's required and ask the questions. Yes the swim school should ask about experience/levels but as a parent the aim is to protect your child and ensure they are as prepared as possible. It's always someone's else's fault these days.

We have no idea what she told the swim school, we don't know if they asked her if he was water confident and if she was honest. After all / he could touch the bottom!

The first thing a decent teacher (of anything at all) does with children (or adults) they have never met before is to assess their competence so that the teacher knows at what level to pitch the lesson. You start with easy things and only then, when you see they can cope, do you make things more challenging.

Why would OP feel a bit daft. If any one should feel like that, it is you for not reading correctly that there was one lifeguard dividing his attention between 2 classes of 8 students each.

Not with an instructor in the pool in front of them they don’t

I learned to swim by (literally) being thrown in at the deep end.

He'll get over it.

Hi op,

you sound uncomfortable and that would affect your ds behavior. Can you take private lessons? It is a cost but by the sound of it, you might enjoy it a bit more and your ds aswell!

good luck 🌺

I'd have been fuming too. I have a child your age, has no one realised that he's a covid baby! Even if you had wanted to take him to baby lessons you couldn't have, Nothing was open. These perfect mums need to get off their high horses.

My friends daughter drowned in a small pool, shallow enough to only reach her chest if she stood up. At the inquest it was judged that in a panic she didn’t try to stand up, just thrashed around and went under. She was 9.

@Mamabear256 i’m a lifeguard and I would be concerned about this. As DS was new to the class, the instructor should have been very near to him when asking him to
do stuff without floats. I’m also concerned that you felt the need to run towards the pool. Werr the lifeguard and the instructor not already on their way to DS?

Is the instructor inexperienced?

All the rescues I have done have been people (mostly kids) in swimming lessons trying to swim in water that they can stand up in. Weak Swimmers don’t seem to understand how to get themselves vertical.