My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson

[Mamabear256]

DS is 4.5 years old and has just started swimming lessons, stage 1 at his local leisure centre. It’s 8 children per class, one instructor and a lifeguard watching 2 classes in the pool.

He’s naturally quite a shy reserved boy and he doesn’t like going under water, he doesn't love going but he does need to learn to swim.

Last week he had a trial, whereby he used floats the whole time. However yesterday, the first thing the instructor got to do was all of the children to doggy paddle across the width of the pool (a small-ish pool) without any aids or support. The instructor was standing a few metres in front whilst all 8 children doggy paddled at the same time. DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is. It was inevitable he was going to go under, and he did. The instructor wasn’t too near my DS so I started to run around to get him. After a few seconds one of the mums shouted towards me ‘it’s ok he’s back up!’ I looked and the instructor had him.

Now I genuinely do not believe he should have been asked to do that without any floats. If the children went one by one doing it with the teacher next to them then I get that. But not all 8 at the same time, with the instructor not close to him, and especially as he is a non swimmer and can barely touch the floor.

I want to complain but just wanted to check if this is normal or not.

AIBU in thinking this isn’t right and to complain?

Both my dc's did a few months of ducklings before stage 1 but took well over a year to progress on to stage 2. The stage 1 classes were very different to the ducklings classes and a child that is not comfortable or fairly confident in the pool will struggle in the stage 1 classes here.

DS has a lot of problems with concentration (on the waiting list for a SEN assessment) so his slow progress is expected. But DD has always been one of the smallest/youngest in her class at every stage so very much normal progress for the setting.

It's interesting how different the lessons are depending on area and setting.

Going under at the age of 6 traumatised me and consequently I didn't learn until I was a lot older. To this day I hate it if my head goes under water, to the point where I won't jump in unless I know that I'm not going to be out of my depth.

I don't think that "putting your head under water" is the issue here. If several children had gone under the teacher would have struggled to pick them all up in time.

OP, swimming for kids as beginner lessons often means for kids going underwater because they need to learn to float first. I live in Australia and all primary state schools have programs to learn to swim where parents are not welcomed. Kids need to learn to float first, and the only way to do it is without swimming aids.

If your child doesn't like to go underwater, you need to discuss it with the swimming instructor.

Again, floating devices are not part of swimming lessons. The aim is to get kids to swim on their own without aids.

For example, DD1 is 5 and does lessons with a 1:3 ratio. Her 'going under' training is not leaving her to flail underwater and come up choking on water or being told to do something she cannot yet do. Every week they start the lesson with some play with water on their faces, squirting it at each other onto their goggles etc., then they gradually move to humming as they gently lower faces and then their whole heads into the water. No one is uncontrolled and dipping under the water without being able to stop themselves, no one comes up having inhaled water, crying and choking. They are all confident and happy to put their faces in because they've never been frightened off doing it in the first place.

I had an experience like OP's son as a kid and it put me off swimming for years and years.

This. DS started lessons at 6 weeks old and they put them under the water from lesson 1 so it becomes normal.

Floatation devices give them a false sense of security and prevent them making correct strokes. They should not be having lessons with armbands on.

Secondly, it is an epic failure to teach a lesson where a child cries and loses confidence. This throw them in the deep end approach was outdated in the 80s when I learned. I know a lot of people put off for life by bad experiences early on

I was having lessons at school and the instructor wanted us all to jump in the deep end. I was scared and didn't want to do it. He didn't actually push me in, although apparently he had form for it, he told me if I didn't jump in I could sit in the corner facing the wall for the lesson. I can still remember sitting there in my wet swimming costume and the instructor and class teacher ignoring me. I can't swim now and have a fear of deep water.

DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is.

I think this is the key thing.

Of course we all go under when learning to swim, but in order to attempt a swimming stroke, you first have to be shown how to do it.

I clearly remember when I first did a width of doggy paddle. The instructor clearly explained and demonstrated the movement. It was scary but exhilarating to do it myself.

What happened here is a bit more like being asked to drive round the block on your first driving lesson, without being shown how to operate gears and pedals.

But it doesn’t work like that. How will you know he can do it without unless he removes them? Yabu.

Personally I'd try another swim school. It has to be a good match for you and your child.

We never did Stage 1 as my kids started when they were 6yo and went straight into Stage 2. They both started with floats in the water and only swam without when they were right next to the teacher (they did 1-2-1 with the teacher without floats, but had two teachers so it was very time efficient as the other kids weren't waiting around). Once they got more competent, they would swim with less/no floats alongside 1-2 other children at a time. They could both stand up in the learner pool too, so weren't out of their depth and old enough to realise they could just put their feet down if needed.

The other option is just to leave swimming lessons for a bit. Mine did much better starting older. Yes, they were sometimes the oldest in Stage 2/3 but by the time they got to Stage 4, they were old enough to properly follow/understand the instructions and progressed really well.

I can understand OP getting upset, it's a normal reaction. However, the instructor was there and got him quick. DD has been going to swimming lessons from 6mths old and part of lessons from that age is going under so she doesn't grow up being afraid of water and learning an important life skill

The kid can touch the floor, the instructor was right there, there was a lifeguard too. If your child is afraid of being underwater, you should have told the instructor. He'll be less scared next time. If you want a more personal approach, you'll have to pay more for smaller classes.

The leading cause of death for children in the UK is cancer, followed by accidents/injuries.
https://stateofchildhealth.rcpch.ac.uk/evidence/mortality/child-mortality/

The most recent figures are from 2018 when around 260 0-14 year olds died.
https://digital.nhs.uk/ndrs/data/data-outputs/ctya-uk-cancer-statistics-report-2021/cancer-mortality-and-prevalence

41 children died from drowning in 2022-23, and most occured in inland waters.
https://www.rlss.org.uk/news/charity-urges-focus-on-water-safety-as-child-drownings-in-england-double-over-last-four-years#:~:text=The%20data%5B1%5D%20shows%20the,in%20the%20last%20four%20years.

But lets not let facts get in the way of some faux outrage!

He needs songs and fun games (splashing, blowing bubbles to get his face in the water, etc) to become comfortable
.... thats baby swimming! He is 4.5

It maybe baby swimming to you - but OP hasn't taken him swimming so it might be best to start with the basics - as you call it baby swimming.

Op id try and take him swimming each and every weekend to the local pool if you can, that way he can just play in the water and have fun.

Why pay a swimming teacher when you obviously know better?

400+ people die from drowning in UK each year but overwhelmingly the deaths are outdoors.

My previously confident swimmer 8 year old was made to be utterly terrified during a school swimming session - they sent them into the deep end and apparently refused to let her go to the side to hold on to the rim, just shouted at her "no, you stay there!". Other kids verified this. She is now utterly petrified of swimming. That fucking asshole instructor.

And being a non swimmer is one of the biggest risk factors.

Our swimming teacher friend told us never to use armbands when we started introducing our babies to swimming. He was right - it would have been much harder to take them away once they'd become reliant on them.

This is from the National Water Safety Forum.
There were 236 water related fatalities last year

https://www.nationalwatersafety.org.uk/campaigns/drowningprevention-day

Absolutely not an overreaction. My kids have never been without a float belt in their lessons. They can swim without arm bands now but that has taken a while.

It's not baby swimming if they're worried
I went back to lessons age 9 as I was so worried about my face in the water
They teach adults with blowing bubbles!

Exactly. He’ll fall off a bike and get a football to the noggin at some point as well. Can’t be avoided.

@Mamabear256 This is strange that this came up as a topic.

Yesterday a man in his early Thirties told me that he couldn't swim.

I was so surprised, as assumed he'd have been taught in school {Europe} however, the lessons he'd had as a child had terrified him.

He said he didn't use floats, the teacher used a ''dog catcher'' pole as he termed it to drag him along, and push him under and it was very traumatic.

It's developed into a bit of a phobia now - he knows he needs to swim for safety reasons {Or to at least be able to 'float' should he fall into water}

He says even in the shower, if he looks up into the cascade of water that he can get a panicked feeling.

Learning to swim is essential for safety- Hopefully your son will soon be water confident.

Supervision is crucial as children can drown very quickly even when others are around.