Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson

348 replies

Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:37

DS is 4.5 years old and has just started swimming lessons, stage 1 at his local leisure centre. It’s 8 children per class, one instructor and a lifeguard watching 2 classes in the pool.

He’s naturally quite a shy reserved boy and he doesn’t like going under water, he doesn't love going but he does need to learn to swim.

Last week he had a trial, whereby he used floats the whole time. However yesterday, the first thing the instructor got to do was all of the children to doggy paddle across the width of the pool (a small-ish pool) without any aids or support. The instructor was standing a few metres in front whilst all 8 children doggy paddled at the same time. DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is. It was inevitable he was going to go under, and he did. The instructor wasn’t too near my DS so I started to run around to get him. After a few seconds one of the mums shouted towards me ‘it’s ok he’s back up!’ I looked and the instructor had him.

Now I genuinely do not believe he should have been asked to do that without any floats. If the children went one by one doing it with the teacher next to them then I get that. But not all 8 at the same time, with the instructor not close to him, and especially as he is a non swimmer and can barely touch the floor.

I want to complain but just wanted to check if this is normal or not.

AIBU in thinking this isn’t right and to complain?

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 14/09/2024 06:48

The instructor was in the water? And got to him within moments?

was he upset? ‘Going under’ is a normal part of water acclimation. And if he can touch the floor a bit he will learn very quickly to push himself up and bob along that way until he ‘gets’ the kicking motion.

Goldbar · 14/09/2024 06:50

Absolutely dreadful. Kids can drown in under a minute. I'd be complaining and considering stopping the lessons.

Wolfpa · 14/09/2024 06:52

Going under is a normal part of learning and will help reduce any fear. Your child was safe as the teacher was there quickly.

you are overreacting

CheshireDing · 14/09/2024 06:54

If they did one at a time and there's 8 of them I would take the whole lesson just to swim across the pool it would take weeks to progress

If the other parent saw he was back up why didn't you if you were running round?

TenThousandSpoons · 14/09/2024 06:56

Was he upset? If he was ok once he came up I wouldn’t worry.

Original poster
Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:56

CheshireDing · 14/09/2024 06:54

If they did one at a time and there's 8 of them I would take the whole lesson just to swim across the pool it would take weeks to progress

If the other parent saw he was back up why didn't you if you were running round?

Because to get to the pool you have to go sideways and up some steps which is why I didn’t see

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/09/2024 06:56

Has he not been swimming before? DS has been going under since baby classes and the ducklings all do too, long before stage one

Changeiscomingthisyear · 14/09/2024 06:56

He could stand up in the pool. He was fine. Have a look at the requirements for stage 1 on the swim england website. Ideally he needs to be going swimming weekly for fun if he isn’t confident.

Original poster
Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:56

He was crying when he came up. After a few minutes he did stop. I just think he should have floats until he can do it without

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:57

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/09/2024 06:56

Has he not been swimming before? DS has been going under since baby classes and the ducklings all do too, long before stage one

Only really on holiday a few times with armbands. So not a lot.

OP posts:
Goldbar · 14/09/2024 06:57

Wolfpa · 14/09/2024 06:52

Going under is a normal part of learning and will help reduce any fear. Your child was safe as the teacher was there quickly.

you are overreacting

Kids can drown in 10 seconds. Absolutely not an overreaction from the OP, if anything she's taking it rather calmly. 8 is too many children for a class of this type.

And "going under" is fine obviously but only when they've been taught to control their breathing, hold their breath and blow bubbles. Not if they're just ingesting water in a panic.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/09/2024 06:58

Are people missing that the child can touch the floor?

Edingril · 14/09/2024 06:59

Floats are toys not safe for 'proper' usage no one should using them to learn to swim

OtterOnAPlane · 14/09/2024 07:00

All this shows is that neither of you are used to swimming lessons. It sounds totally normal - 'using floats until they can do it' isn't a thing.

What's stopped you taking him before?

lemonmeringueno3 · 14/09/2024 07:00

I can't really believe what I'm reading. Your child was in the pool, where he could touch the floor, at a 1:8 ratio with the instructor and further supervised by lifeguards. Did you think he would learn to swim without going under the surface at any time? I suggest you teach him yourself or pay for 1:1 sessions. I certainly wouldn't tell an instructor how to do their job on day one. In fact, I always feel a bit sorry for the instructors being so closely scrutinised by parents. Does he have a track record of getting kids to swim or not?

Ponoka7 · 14/09/2024 07:01

If he really isn't enjoying it, I'd leave it until a bit older.

Hateam · 14/09/2024 07:01

It's impossible to learn to swim without this happening.

Goldbar · 14/09/2024 07:01

Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:56

He was crying when he came up. After a few minutes he did stop. I just think he should have floats until he can do it without

Not ok. He was crying because he had been put in a dangerous situation which he didn't have the skills to deal with and was scared.

Changeiscomingthisyear · 14/09/2024 07:03

Mamabear256 · 14/09/2024 06:57

Only really on holiday a few times with armbands. So not a lot.

Show quote history

In which case he is going to find lessons a real struggle. He needs to be playing in the pool and without arm bands, you can’t swim in them.

WobblyBoots · 14/09/2024 07:03

In our swimming lessons they start doing this at the beginning to see where each kid is at. Then they give floats etc to those who need it.

My second DS of the same age just started swimming properly on holiday doing just this. Doggy paddle few strokes, goes under, pushes up from the floor (or we grab him-standing next to him in the pool), more doggy paddle, until he could doggy paddle from one side to the other.

If there is an adult very close by then I think going under is just part of learning to swim.

MeadStMary · 14/09/2024 07:04

How do you expect him to be able to do without floats if he always uses floats?

From what I could tell in my dc's early stage lessons the floats were used to teach and improve technique rather than keep them afloat, as their feet can touch the floor. They still did plenty of stuff in the water without floats to get them confident. They need to put their head under the water to get used to it.

If he's not ready to start lessons then take him out and take him swimming weekly until he is more confident in the water.

Cuwins · 14/09/2024 07:06

My 2.5 year old daughter went under multiple times in her lesson yesterday- some part of the lesson but twice had to be grabbed as she decided to just let go of her noodle randomly- took a couple of seconds for me to grab her as I was a few steps away.
However I am in the pool with her so I guess that's different and she wasn't upset just slightly shocked she went under when she let go of the noodle.
I think if he can touch the floor (however barely) then that's fine. But maybe he needs to go swimming more to get used to going under.

Goldbar · 14/09/2024 07:06

lemonmeringueno3 · 14/09/2024 07:00

I can't really believe what I'm reading. Your child was in the pool, where he could touch the floor, at a 1:8 ratio with the instructor and further supervised by lifeguards. Did you think he would learn to swim without going under the surface at any time? I suggest you teach him yourself or pay for 1:1 sessions. I certainly wouldn't tell an instructor how to do their job on day one. In fact, I always feel a bit sorry for the instructors being so closely scrutinised by parents. Does he have a track record of getting kids to swim or not?

It was his second lesson. The instructor presumably knows he can't swim. He was under the water for long enough that his mum started making her way towards the pool. He was scared enough and panicked enough that when he came up he was crying for minutes afterwards. Yes, kids go underwater in swimming lessons, but at my DC's swim school they at least teach them the basic skills they need to do this safely beforehand.

hattie43 · 14/09/2024 07:07

Stop mollycoddling him , the kids got to learn to swim and part of that is putting your head under water .

KombuchaHauntsYourBurps · 14/09/2024 07:08

Wolfpa · 14/09/2024 06:52

Going under is a normal part of learning and will help reduce any fear. Your child was safe as the teacher was there quickly.

you are overreacting

I'm in my late 40s and can't swim, despite having many many lessons as a child (not just with school, my parents paid for intensive lessons for years every school holidays) and then paying for more lessons as an adult. "Going under" absolutely terrified me as a child and is a big part of the reason I struggle in the water now - I hated it so much and found it so traumatic that I'll do basically anything to avoid that feeling ever again. It certainly didn't help me with acclimation or reduce my fear. And it didn't help that every single swimming teacher scoffed at me and said I wasn't going to drown and needed to just get used to it. I never got used to it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread