My non swimming child went under during swimming lesson

[Mamabear256]

DS is 4.5 years old and has just started swimming lessons, stage 1 at his local leisure centre. It’s 8 children per class, one instructor and a lifeguard watching 2 classes in the pool.

He’s naturally quite a shy reserved boy and he doesn’t like going under water, he doesn't love going but he does need to learn to swim.

Last week he had a trial, whereby he used floats the whole time. However yesterday, the first thing the instructor got to do was all of the children to doggy paddle across the width of the pool (a small-ish pool) without any aids or support. The instructor was standing a few metres in front whilst all 8 children doggy paddled at the same time. DS can barely touch the floor and he doesn’t even know what a doggy paddle is. It was inevitable he was going to go under, and he did. The instructor wasn’t too near my DS so I started to run around to get him. After a few seconds one of the mums shouted towards me ‘it’s ok he’s back up!’ I looked and the instructor had him.

Now I genuinely do not believe he should have been asked to do that without any floats. If the children went one by one doing it with the teacher next to them then I get that. But not all 8 at the same time, with the instructor not close to him, and especially as he is a non swimmer and can barely touch the floor.

I want to complain but just wanted to check if this is normal or not.

AIBU in thinking this isn’t right and to complain?

I said the ducklings all do, they are toddlers. Most children have been in a pool before they are 4.5

@Goldbar Dangerous situation ? He’s not swimming with sharks.

^ This! I was, and remain, terrified. As soon as my daughter could stand unaided I paid for one-to-one private swimming lessons for her (I appreciate that I was very fortunate to be able to do this) so that she didn't inherit my fear. It worked - she swims very well.

To add some context, my fear came from school swimming lessons when the instructor allowed those children who could swim to go to the deep end and practice, while he lined the non-swimmers up along the shallow end. He then asked if anyone was particularly frightened. I raised my hand, so he came to me, put his foot on my head, and held me under.

I agree with this.

The key bit is could he stand in the water where he was asked to swim across?

Completely normal to try and swim without aids within depth. As he can then just put his feet down.

However, out of depth potentially very dangerous

Have taken my daughter to swimming lessons from 3m and the instructor said to us not to use armbands because it doesn’t teach the skill of swimming and can build a false sense of security. If your DS can’t swim and you don’t feel comfortable with the classes, I would recommend some private lessons to bring him up to speed. He won’t learn without the risk of going under but trusting the teacher is important.

My DC did lessons when they were younger so it was with parents in the pool
and one of the things the instructor said was "they will all go under-the most important thing for their confidence is your face when they surface-if you are scared they will learn to be afraid. Be confident and supportive. Will help more than anything"
That's a great lesson for parents in all sorts of situations-falls and scrapes etc.

Swimming a valuable life lesson. @Mamabear256 you may want a private instructor but I think it sounds fine and sometimes classses are more fun!
Good luck!

OP I can sympathise with you, I used to swim competitively and taught kids to swim for a while. Also even though I swam at a high level, I hated the water when I first started and having to put my head under. It also took me ages to get the hang of everything and become confident enough to swim a lap.

I dont think you’re being a helicopter parent at all, can you imagine how scared the child was going under like that? Not a very good introduction to learning a life skill! I found that children were far more receptive when they were happy/confident in the water and surroundings.

Water confidence is such a big thing, could you maybe get your child more familiar with the lesson pool so they realise it’s not so scary? Private lessons are also very good at a beginner level, you could then transition into group ones

Also I have seen OP’s exact situation play out at a beginners swimming lesson and it was quite traumatic. Had it not been for some fast bystanders jumping into the pool, it really would have been very bad.

Trust your gut. You’re not happy. You’ve lost trust and so find some new classes.

I would trust the instructor. They know what they are doing. Your child would not have drowned infront of an instructors eyes. Children who can't swim have parents who either can't themselves or don't like the water.

Depends on what you take barely touch the floor to mean.

Also seems rather a tall order to ask a complete non swimmer to doggy paddle a width.

Speak to the instructor for reassurance but it sounds within the bounds of normal for a swimming lesson.

The child was in no danger of drowning, some the hysteria on this thread is dangerously misleading.

I don't recall either of my children ever being asked to do doggy paddle.

Lessons involved holding a float and practicing arm and leg movements until they were ready to do their first proper strokes alone. They never went under while trying to swim. They only went under when it was the part of the lesson where they were supposed to submerge. Until they had progressed a few stages all newer swimmers were in parts of the pool where they could easily stand up.

I'd also have some concerns about this teaching method. I don't think this is right for a young child's second lesson. I'm not a helicopter parent but I am one who watched a lot of swimming lessons.

I don't think that a child should be able to swim before starting group lessons. Most people are suggesting that a child should be comfortable and fairly confident in the water first. This comes through being in a pool 1to1 with an adult regularly. Even just playing and splashing about if 1to1 lessons aren't an option.

The people running the group lessons aren't going to say that a child should be at that stage before starting because they don't want parents kicking off and complaining that they aren't inclusive. But surely common sense tells you that it isn't fair to put your dc in that situation if they are scared of being in water? Plus it's going to take forever and cost a fortune.

A few seconds longer under the water and the child may well have been drowning.

Reading some of these responses makes me wonder if some people realise how quick drowning can be.

In baby swim classes, the 'swims' are under water.

Well around here anyway, and it's a national programme

Ask yourself how many children have drowned during a swimming lesson in the UK in the last 40 years.

I suspect it looked worse than the reality.

You seen to have missed that he could stand up

I'd be worried he can't touch the floor.

You should take him on a holiday somewhere warm for a week and build his confidence in the baby pool. Head under blowing bubbles etc.

OP if he's not comfortable at this level it's probably best to ask for him to go into a discovery ducklings class it's the stage before and more about water confidence and usually in quite shallow water

Children drown in paddling pools.

Yes if they are unsupervised there was a qualified instructor a few steps away and a life guard!

And?

I agree with this. The very first thing to teach is water confidence and water survival, which is actually much more important than swimming technique. If he doesn’t have it, he shouldn’t be put in that position,
i would take him out and get 1-2-1 lessons instead. But don’t wait, because you want to quickly put this memory behind him.

Aye. A holiday somewhere warm for a week. Just like that.