Page 11 | She bought the same coat as me.

imgonnadowild · 2024-09-12T19:46:01+00:00

I treated myself to a new coat and I finally wore it today as it actually felt like the right weather. Met a friend for dinner and she said how nice it was where did I get it. She then got out her phone and bought it. I feel a bit annoyed. It’s a coat so an item of clothing that you wear a lot, I wouldn’t be bothered if it was say a top or jeans - but I won’t want to turn up when I meet her both wearing the same thing. Aibu?

Moonlightdust · 13/09/2024 07:39

Maybe but I always think to myself if a person is constantly copying someone else (I mean repeatedly not just the odd occasion!) then they can’t have much imagination to think for themself.

Sometimes it stems from jealousy - I think back to when my kids were little and the tantrums if another sibling had something the other one didn’t. Even if it was something they didn’t even want, it was just the reaction of feeling ‘outdone’. I think some adults still act like this. I’ve seen it myself when you can actually physically see the envy on someone’s face if they think someone is better off than them.

Beautiful3 · 13/09/2024 07:42

If it's a black coat then you're being unreasonable. If it's unusual e.g. red with a fur lined hood etc then she's out of order.

RampantIvy · 13/09/2024 07:50

allmyliesaretrue · 13/09/2024 00:09

Do you want to look like a dick going out with your friend wearing the same coat?

Good for you if you do. I don't want to!

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I wouldn't feel like a dick, and I have reached the age where I don't really care what people think.

I am a completely different build, colouring and height to all of my friends, so the same garment would look totally different on me to anyone else.

Also, none of my coats are very noticeable. My parka is just a black generic looking parka which is probably identical to what a lot of woman are wearing. And my black wool coat is also pretty similar or even the same as what you might see on other women in public

Quirrelsotherface · 13/09/2024 07:56

It’s the kind of thing that would have bothered me as a teenager - these days I’d have taken it as a compliment!

Quirrelsotherface · 13/09/2024 07:57

Ps I quite like twinning with my best friends,makes me smile when we turn up in similar outfits…but maybe I’m weird 😁

Tangerinenets · 13/09/2024 08:00

Are you 12? 😂. Honestly no it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

UltramarineViolet · 13/09/2024 08:16

For those calling the OP childish, don't you think the friend's behaviour was hugely childish?

Seeing an item you want and not being able to wait til to you get home before ordering it? The friend's behaviour smacks of Veruca Salt "I want it, and I want it now!". Not being abe to cope with the fact your friend owns something that you would like for yourself.

YANBU OP and you aren't the childish one in this scenario

Dolliesdisasterousdayout · 13/09/2024 08:25

I like you @imgonnadowild

Your friend may have your coat but I bet she doesn’t have your sense of humour.

Pearlsandpins · 13/09/2024 08:46

Compash · 12/09/2024 21:38

I get it. I think it was weird and provocative of her to order it right there and then in front of you. What message was she trying to give you, I wonder? 🤔 That you can't stop her being enmeshed with you if she chooses? That she thinks you're her Bestie Fwend and you just think of her as A Friend? As a one-off, maybe not a problem, but it sounds like she has previous about the globe lights etc.

A psychologist would have a better idea of why, but maybe it's like animals don't like being observed closely because that's what predators do? I know she's not going to lunge across the restaurant table and start devouring you (UNLESS SHE IS!), but it's generally unnerving to be closely scrutinised.

Reverse psychology, next time you buy something and she doesn't copy it, start demanding why, what's wrong with it, doesn't she like it? 😁

Friend can tell herself OP was "fine with it" because OP was present when friend ordered and OP didn't say anything.

LookItsMeAgain · 13/09/2024 08:51

You've learned that you never give the accurate information when asked where you got something that someone else likes - you now know to respond with "Oh this old thing - I found it in a bag at the back of my wardrobe. I must have bought it and forgotten about it until now" or "Oh, I can't remember" or "Oh, Primark - twenty pounds!!!!" or something similar.

If you don't want people showing up in the same thing as you're wearing, time to get creative with your responses.

brunettemic · 13/09/2024 08:52

Can I have a link? Promise I won’t buy it.

ThatMakesSense · 13/09/2024 09:20

imgonnadowild · 12/09/2024 21:34

Just to point out throughout the years that yes other friends have copied me and me them. I bought a stunning lipstick after I saw a friend of a friend wear it, I would never have picked that colour on my own and the amount of compliments I get each time I wear it - never experienced that and my safe nude colours before 😂.

Because it’s a coat it’s a big purchase. You might buy a new top but you’re not wearing it every day, but a coat you wear most days. So yes I don’t like that she blatantly copied me with it. I’m trying really hard with my clothes and appearance after letting myself go really bad due to a breakup and being in a terrible job.

So you all copy each other - be glad you have nice bunch of girls.

Saturdayblurs · 13/09/2024 09:33

If this were a reverse I have a sneaky feeling the replies would be much different.

Octopies · 13/09/2024 09:39

It's odd to buy exactly the same one while she's with you and if a friend was doing it regularly, it would put me off meeting them tbh. A while back I was struggling to find an affordable winter coat I liked and my friend suggested looking a shop I never would have thought to go to. She pointed out the coat that she recently bought and I liked it, but went with something slightly different, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to buy the exact same one!

cabbagesgreenetc · 13/09/2024 10:06

imgonnadowild · 13/09/2024 00:17

Utterly mad. Hmm do you always exaggerate and ultimately lie just to make yourself feel superior?

At no point has anyone been “utterly mad” and this is quite a jump from me saying I’m “a bit annoyed”.

Plenty of people have pointed out they would also have the same reaction. And for the people that haven’t I can also take their point onboard that it’s not something I’m going to stay annoyed about and I just won’t say where I get certain items I really like from.

Then there’s just your class of people that desperately hang around a thread just trying to be nasty for kicks because they are utterly miserable. If I read a thread and thought it was “something silly” then I wouldn’t continue hanging around like a honking fowl odour, I’d move on and post on something I thought was worthy of my time. The fact you’re so gripped by this and will be here until the bitter end is deeply pathetic.

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OP I think I love you. You seem very clever and funny to me. Hope you get over your difficult time, and enjoy your coat!

Flashcardsagain · 13/09/2024 10:10

WHERE IS THE COAT!!!!!?????

Sparklywhiteteeth · 13/09/2024 10:10

cabbagesgreenetc · 13/09/2024 10:06

OP I think I love you. You seem very clever and funny to me. Hope you get over your difficult time, and enjoy your coat!

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Yikes that’s a little much.

RausageSoul · 13/09/2024 10:49

I remember two mums at school had identical coats and always stood together. It was way weird and they looked like it was some sort of issued uniform!

arghhelpme · 13/09/2024 17:57

One of my friends and me have very similar styles. We one done an order online and showed each other the next day what we ordered, basically all the same stuff. A few weeks later we went out and met up with her mum, we were all wearing the same dress 🤣. I get a coat is outerwear so seen more but then how many other people also have the same coat?

SuchiRolls · 13/09/2024 17:58

This wouldn’t bother me really but she should probably have asked if you minded. At the end of the day, there will be thousands walking around in the same coat so I couldn’t give this energy. Don’t wear it when you meet with her if it concerns you to that degree.

sesa145 · 13/09/2024 18:07

That’s the biggest form of a compliment. Do you socialise with your friend on a regular basis or just occasionally. If the latter, suck it up.

lned · 13/09/2024 18:10

I've bought a coat that was very similar to a friend's because I loved it. I did it without telling her and never wore it when I saw her as I didn't want to look like her twin!

I get why you're annoyed. It would annoy me too. And some of these replies are the reason I don't like creating threads. Thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum? Some of the unnecessarily horrible comments make me sad 😔 it's ok to disagree with someone but I wish people were kinder to each other.

JoBrandsCleaner · 13/09/2024 18:13

My friend did this once a few years ago. She just walked into her living room wearing it looking very pleased with herself. I thought ‘you’ve got to be kidding 😳’ it was one you’d wear when it’s raining as well and we we’re together a lot (kids same age at school etc) anyway I said as nicely as I could that we’d look like a couple of weirdos walking about wearing matching coats 🤔 all I could think of was to ask her for her receipt and take mine back to change for something else, anyway she took hers back in the end, she seemed a bit put out though but still

TreacleMoon · 13/09/2024 18:16

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 12/09/2024 20:46

It sounds like a nice coat, where did you get it? 👀

This hit me hard.. 😂

Please don't worry OP, wear that coat with pride (and buy one of those iconic t-shirts that says 'I'm with this idiot 👉' and wear it whenever you meet up with her, just in case she's wearing that coat!) 😉

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 13/09/2024 18:24

imgonnadowild · 12/09/2024 21:34

Just to point out throughout the years that yes other friends have copied me and me them. I bought a stunning lipstick after I saw a friend of a friend wear it, I would never have picked that colour on my own and the amount of compliments I get each time I wear it - never experienced that and my safe nude colours before 😂.

Because it’s a coat it’s a big purchase. You might buy a new top but you’re not wearing it every day, but a coat you wear most days. So yes I don’t like that she blatantly copied me with it. I’m trying really hard with my clothes and appearance after letting myself go really bad due to a breakup and being in a terrible job.

I would take it as a compliment.

In fact I went to Zara Home one day and mentioned to the shop assistant that her lipstick was beautiful and it really suited her.

She was so happy that I make a comment about it that she went to the back of the store to pick it up from her purse and showed it to me.

I even took a picture, and we both left happy.

This is the kind of interaction that women should have instead of jealousy and picking each other’s apart.

Chances are you won’t be next to each other every day to wear the same coat.

PS: what’s the brand and price? Asking for a friend…