Page 5 | For not wanting to attend a friend's destination wedding?

emilydispleased · 2024-09-11T21:17:45+00:00

My close friend is having a destination wedding, and while I'm happy for them, I really don't want to attend due to cost and time commitment. AIBU for not wanting to go?

TheLittleOldWomanWhoShrinks · 12/09/2024 06:40

'Could be worse' is a perfectly usual, friendly, slightly humorous, formula for introducing one's own anecdote after sympathising with someone else. 'Urgh, I'm soaking.' 'Could be worse, a car splashed me from head to toe on my way in.' Entirely normal arrival-at-the-office dialogue. Not a 'comparison Olympics'!

ThePrologue · 12/09/2024 06:42

Have we quietly flounced...?

Spirallingdownwards · 12/09/2024 06:49

Actually if it were the destination Wedding Olympics the other poster does actually win a medal because there is an expectation that siblings should definitely be attending a siblings wedding. However if a friend declines then that's that. With siblings it may always be held over their head in family dynamics!

The poster was empathising and you were unpleasant. Go or don't go. It's up to you.

TammyJones · 12/09/2024 06:56

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/09/2024 02:19

I rather suspect that the OP really wants to go and is a) pissed off that she cant justify the cost of going at the expense of her family's holiday (possibly influenced by her OH saying that its a ridiculous amount of money to spend on someone elses wedding, which is true) b) anticipating a pissed off friend when she declines and c) is taking her pissed off-ness on @OlivePoet

@emilydispleased remove your head from your arse and realise that being rude to other people wont stop you feeling shit about this. You owe @OlivePoet an apology.

Agree @OlivePoet

Good answer and all the op's responses hsve been rude replies about @OlivePoet who agreed with her.
Very odd.

2Old2Tango · 12/09/2024 06:56

Totally derailed your own thread by being rude to posters trying to empathise and share their own experiences. Your friend will likely be relieved you don't want to attend if you have attitudes like this.

TammyJones · 12/09/2024 06:58

thehourwaslate · 12/09/2024 05:29

Is this another AI thread? The pointless first post, followed by rude, inane responses to comments…

Never thought of that...responses are very focused.

Poppins21 · 12/09/2024 06:59

We had a destination wedding in Greece. But we lived outside of UK anyway so any wedding would have been a destination for somebody.

I was not offended by anyone who couldn’t or didn’t want to travel - the day was about me and my husband and we were thankful for the people who could attend.

no friendships damaged along the way.

so just say congrats but decline the invite.

Rewis · 12/09/2024 07:00

In the destination forums people claim that people have them in hopes of guests declining. So maybe you're doing a favour!

Girlking · 12/09/2024 07:01

WTF ! How rude

Girlking · 12/09/2024 07:02

emilydispleased · 11/09/2024 23:04

@OlivePoet

Not prickly, just saying how it reads.

"Could be worse" is comparison, further confirmed by the rest of the comment. Doesn't bode well, it's not a competition about who has it worse, sibling vs friend etc etc. No need really.

whoops ! In response to this

ruffler45 · 12/09/2024 07:06

Just say you do not want to commit one way or another at this time.

FloofPaws · 12/09/2024 07:07

Not at all, I've only ever been to 1, my best friends and it was great, but I wouldn't go to another one as it's so expensive and that's your holiday chosen for you that year. Also loads of annual leave taken and they'll realise many people wouldn't come, BFF did and arranged a reception for people when we got back which was lovely as we all wore our outfits again(I was bridesmaid)

Cherrysoup · 12/09/2024 07:08

Of course yabu. It astonishes me that people expect others to attend these things. Fair enough if they want to combine their wedding with a foreign trip/honeymoon/instagram op, but I’d never imagine that anyone else should pay out to make that happen.

needsomewarmsunshine · 12/09/2024 07:10

Dd has recently emigrated and marrying her fiance in his home country. Dh and I aren't able to go due to costs. It's being live streamed so that is a compromise and we are happy with that.
It's about the couple not us.

Threewheeler1 · 12/09/2024 07:11

Rachie1973 · 12/09/2024 00:01

Oh I was quite sympathetic to you up to here.

Youre being really rude.

Show quote history

Me too!
I don't often say 'Wow', but 0-60 unwarranted rudeness to another (perfectly pleasant and empathetic) poster in about 10 seconds must be a record😮...

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 07:16

needsomewarmsunshine · 12/09/2024 07:10

Dd has recently emigrated and marrying her fiance in his home country. Dh and I aren't able to go due to costs. It's being live streamed so that is a compromise and we are happy with that.
It's about the couple not us.

I think if she's emigrated, then it's her home.
It's not a destination wedding. I hope you enjoy the live stream.

WeirdyWorldy · 12/09/2024 07:21

needsomewarmsunshine · 12/09/2024 07:10

Dd has recently emigrated and marrying her fiance in his home country. Dh and I aren't able to go due to costs. It's being live streamed so that is a compromise and we are happy with that.
It's about the couple not us.

Blimey @needsomewarmsunshine think you're running for Bronze in the Destination Olympics!

Sorry if you've not read the whole thread this probably won't make sense.

On a side note are you going to get dressed up for the live stream? Drink champagne and have a posh meal? Invite other relatives to watch with you? Or just sit in your PJs. Genuinely interested. Must be difficult not being able to attend in person.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/09/2024 07:22

I think the OP is busy working on her comprehension skills (well I hope she is).

user47 · 12/09/2024 07:25

@emilydispleased you know this is a public forum, anyone can comment and write what the fuck they want. The poster was empathising and made a good point. You've derailed your own thread now. Well done with that.

GiveMeSomeWaterItsHot · 12/09/2024 07:27

I probably wouldn’t go to a destination wedding unless it was a country I’d always wanted to visit. Then I could go to the wedding and then have my holiday afterwards ♥️

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 07:34

@WeirdyWorldy "bronze in the destination Olympics" 😂

HerVagestyTheQueef · 12/09/2024 07:36

OP, if you start a thread asking for advice and you get a response you don’t like, you can, you know, just scroll on by; no need to be rude to someone sharing their own experience of being in your situation. That poster wasn’t rude to you.

Bellatrixpure · 12/09/2024 07:38

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 05:55

Of course it's about the guests as well, otherwise have a registry office with two witnesses.
When you host, you consider guests, that's good manners.

Show quote history

I’m sorry but no I disagree. Nothing wrong with choosing a beautiful destination, and any guests who decide to come are welcome. I wouldn’t be offended if I opted for a destination wedding and people couldn’t make it, that’s their right, as it’s the couple’s right to be able to choose where they want to get married.

Lemonadeand · 12/09/2024 07:39

emilydispleased · 11/09/2024 22:49

It's not the destination wedding Olympics

Show quote history

Ooo I think I would watch that Olympics 😂

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 07:39

Bellatrixpure · 12/09/2024 07:38

I’m sorry but no I disagree. Nothing wrong with choosing a beautiful destination, and any guests who decide to come are welcome. I wouldn’t be offended if I opted for a destination wedding and people couldn’t make it, that’s their right, as it’s the couple’s right to be able to choose where they want to get married.

Show quote history

I didn't say it wasn't "their right". You can host a wedding where you want, but if you don't factor loved ones in, I think that's a bit rude.
My niece had a destination wedding, it broke her Grandma's heart that she couldn't attend.