For not wanting to attend a friend's destination wedding?

[emilydispleased]

My close friend is having a destination wedding, and while I'm happy for them, I really don't want to attend due to cost and time commitment. AIBU for not wanting to go?

I rather suspect that the OP really wants to go and is a) pissed off that she cant justify the cost of going at the expense of her family's holiday (possibly influenced by her OH saying that its a ridiculous amount of money to spend on someone elses wedding, which is true) b) anticipating a pissed off friend when she declines and c) is taking her pissed off-ness on @OlivePoet

@emilydispleased remove your head from your arse and realise that being rude to other people wont stop you feeling shit about this. You owe @OlivePoet an apology.

Constantly having to justify your financial decisions to people who are getting married is exhausting, potentially humiliating and it shouldn’t be a thing. Why should everyone give up their precious vacation time to spend it on someone else’s dream? I want a bloody holiday of MY choice. Haven’t done that in years, btw.

Another one saying what Olive said was empathising. A whole thread of people saying the same thing can’t be wrong. Back to your point, can you go alone as a compromise and share a room with a friend? Otherwise just don’t go.

Also think you lost a lot of peoples sympathy in your response to Olive.

We had a destination wedding and we expected that a lot of people wouldn't be able to attend and weren't upset when the inevitable happened.

If you can't/don't want to go then don't do it.

Is this another AI thread? The pointless first post, followed by rude, inane responses to comments…

Jesus, why are you so angry?

just decline the invite. what a bizarre response to keep having goes at another poster.

I've been in this situation, and what I did was...

Actually no. Now I've read op's responses I think I'll give this a hard pass, in case I get accused of trying to compete against her.

No, just be honest and don't let her wait too long as it may result in her thinking you're going to attend.

Of course it's about the guests as well, otherwise have a registry office with two witnesses.
When you host, you consider guests, that's good manners.

How are people supposed to give their opinion / advice if they can't share their own experience 😂. Think you need to reread YOUR posts op.

OP, I also think you’re completely wrong in how you’ve responded to others on this thread. I think you’ve misinterpreted a comment, dug your heels in, and been very rude as a result. Not a single person has agreed with you about the intended tone of the response you jumped on.

I’d give you my opinion but as you seem to be policing the wording used by others… 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, they should understand that it’s not within everyone’s plans or budget.

Howecer, I disagree with people saying it’s selfish of them. They are entitled to have the wedding that they want to have.

What was that response for?
PP passing a comment, you give a very snippy response.
Don't go to the wedding, don't ask for advice then give the people who give advice, the written equivalent of a smack in the mourpth
Just wow

Oh wow, someone really has pissed on your chips haven't they?

So should this forum!!
Sadly, those 'invited' to give their opinion have been sent to the naughty corner

Your responses to some posters are just rude and unnecessary.

If you’re as snipey in real life I’m sure your friend will be relieved you’re not going to her wedding. .

@emilydispleased judging by how rude you've been to people replying to your thread I'm sure you'll have no problem telling your friend you can't make the wedding ? That's it really.

YANBU of course!

BUT - bear in mind that if you don't go you risk losing the friendship entirely. It's what happend to me.

Best friend since we were born, bad timing of her wedding abroad for me. She decided that I just didn't care enough and dropped the friendship. Astonishing. But being engaged/a bride/chosen one does weird things to people.

I always thought destination weddings really equal, escape from the guest list wedding. They are done to escape and just have a few people there that can make it - a bit like eloping but tell a few people so they can come if they choose

You have friends? With that attitude??

A wedding is different. It's not some little dinner party in the Cotswolds for your PTA friends
Weddings are about the people getting married. Aside from, when organising the wedding, that the requirements of guests with needs are prepared for. After that, who cares? It is their wedding. They can do it when, where and how they want. If aunty mabel is incapable of zip-wiring into a hobbit themed wedding breakfast, that's her lookout

Your reply is rude. This is mumsnet where people will answer and give some context. Poster is not trying to get into some competition with you.

Eek, that's an incredibly rude reply to someone who's taken the time to respond to your thread.

Given that, I'm sure you don't need any advice on assertively declining the invitation.

Vaycay?