For not wanting to attend a friend's destination wedding?

[emilydispleased]

My close friend is having a destination wedding, and while I'm happy for them, I really don't want to attend due to cost and time commitment. AIBU for not wanting to go?

We didn’t invite anyone we wouldn’t have been happy to have there, we just knew up front that we wouldn’t be upset if hardly anyone came.

I’d never have invited random neighbours or random people from work even if I’d had a UK wedding!

As PP's have pointed out, this could be a strategy to keep numbers down; only you can judge your friend's motives.
A friend of mine, organist at a London city church, played for a regular stream of Japanese weddings at one time. Apparently, there is a well-defined etiquette in Japan, concerning the guests one is obliged to invite, including work colleagues as well as family and friends, and combining one's wedding with a dream trip to Europe could be a way of offering an acceptable reason for anyone invited to decline politely.
He was in regular contact with a company which specialised in setting up these ceremonies.

If you act like you’re coming across in this thread in real life then I reckon your friend will be more than happy that you can’t be bothered to go 🙄

Another one here who really disagrees with your interpretation. It's empathetic to share similar experiences and 'could be worse' isn't being competitive, it's trying to make you feel better, chin up kinda thing. But you're super prickly for some reason with several responses. It's quite odd.

OP YANBU. Just say, "no thanks".

I'll third that too!

Surprised you were invited tbh.

I would decline. Way too much to spend on an event not that important to you.

Wow you come across very poorly

Oh I was quite sympathetic to you up to here.

Youre being really rude.

Wow rude! On this basis, I imagine the wedding party would be better off without you! So yes, definitely decline!

Given how rude you rude you are I’m surprised you haven’t just told her to stick her wedding up her arse.

Yanbu but there's no need to be so rude.

You would think that they understand that but many times they don't and get unreasonably upset when people can't make it

No. Destination weddings are for entitled wankers

No, not at all.

Oh but how I wish it was. I'd watch THAT

It's a choice, isn't it: two weeks vacay with your family or one week for the friend's wedding. (Or whatever the duration would be for same budget). The bride could argue you're selfish for not wanting to attend her wedding and you equally could argue it's selfish to expect you to spend money like that. Are there compromises? Is she willing to change venue? Can you get a (better) group rate? Could (just) you fly in for wedding only, ie day before and leave day after?
Unless key invitees are on a level financial field there are always hard feelings in situations like this. imho if bride really wants friends to attend, the wedding would be at home and save splashing out on honeymoon.
Having said that they have a right to their dream... ugh, I think I'd say no, but I'd really try to see if I could swing it first.

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams was empathising with you. Do you not get that?

She was saying, “Yes, I know how you feel. It’s difficult. “

FFS you really don’t need to be so rude to PPs who actually agree with you and understand your dilemma!

In the Rudeness Olympics, Gold for you!

People tend to offer up their own experiences in these types of posts as a way of showing empathy. It’s not intended to belittle you or overshadow your dilemma.

Given the OP’s responses on this thread it seems highly unlikely she’ll be bothered about being polite! 😂

Yeah, after seeing some of the replies, I'm thinking the friend may be better off... Just don't go!

I’m just hanging around for the flounce now. I do love a good flounce!

I want to watch the comparison Olympics (I'd be watching on my tv that is definitely bigger than yours, OP)

Wow. Rude. I don't think your friend will mind too much ;-)