Is my dd being entitled?

[Funkyslippers]

Few years ago at a routine dental check up for dd, we enquired as to whether she needed braces. She was told no as her teeth were not 'bad' enough. I had braces on the NHS as a kid, 40+ years ago but they were removable, I don't remember having them for long & wore no retainers so as a result they are only slightly better than they were. I've recently become quite self conscious about my teeth so decided to go for Invisalign. I thought I'd treat myself as I've recently got a new job with better pay. When dd found out she threw a strop saying if I'm getting braces why can't she? I explained that I've had to wait a long time to get mine & I was actually told by my dentist that due to my overbite there's an increased risk of damage to teeth as I get older if I don't get them corrected. Fwiw dd's teeth are a little on the overcrowded side but you'd hardly notice unless you look closely. Is she just being a diva or AIBU?

But they're not 'quite bad'!!!! That's quire a leap you've made

Teeth are so important and if I had the opportunity to stop my daughter having to go through her teens avoiding smiling widely and hating her teeth, I'd absolutely jump at it. If I were you, I'd fix my daughters first and my own afterwards. The NHS saying they're not needed isn't the same as saying her teeth are good. It just means they're not bad enough to be provided for free. I don't think she's being entitled at all. Straight, nice teeth shouldn't be a luxury, they can affect confidence etc. as it's one of the first things people see.

I would of too as I think dental care is a parental obligation- assuming your daughter is under 18?

I think your teeth have to be pretty bad to even qualify for NHS braces these days so you daughter may well need braces.

You probably would not have got braces on NHS if you were a teenager again now.

She’s not being a diva, she has a point. I’d prioritise sorting her teeth out to be honest - it makes a massive difference to people’s self confidence.

Nice try, lol. No I’m saying your kid should.

I’d delete the thread if I were you, the holier than thou mum brigade are out in full force.

you don’t need to explain yourself, you need braces because your teeth will become damaged. Your daughter needs them for cosmetic reasons. I wonder if this was a “plastic surgery post” if the responses would be the same.

E.g “I need a nose job as I cannot breathe properly at night, but dd is very self conscious of her nose, should I put her surgery first?”

get your braces and ignore the mass mum guilt on this post. I’m sure in time if you should afford braces for her, you would.

I have an overbite I now need surgery for because I left it too long! I cannot open my jaw properly, do not do what I did!

Op I do like how you’ve moved from this

I've recently become quite self conscious about my teeth so decided to go for Invisalign. I thought I'd treat myself as I've recently got a new job with better pay

to this

I've been told by 2 dentists pretty much the same thing that there's a good chance my teeth will be more damaged if I don't act fairly soon

😂

She smiles plenty, but she'd have to show all her teeth & gums to see any imperfections. She's a very happy girl generally & as I said before never mentioned anything negative about her teeth until yesterday

Yes, that's exactly what happened

Assume your child is preteen/teen and I do see her point too im afraid. As a kid and then adult who was unhappy with her smile because mine were also allegedly not bad enough i then struggled with how i interacted with people when older and would hide my smile i was so self conscious. I ended up as an adult getting my teeth fixed and it made such a different to my self security that I have paid for mine to get braces even though I was also told their teeth were not bad enough. I just feel that i would not want mine to be held back like i felt so got them theirs done although its a different situation as I had mine done when they were much smaller so it wasnt an either or. I do think that you have absolutely every right to a nice smile now but also look into even a payment plan for your dd too so as not to make her feel in later life about her teeth that you feel now.

Thank you very much for this

All these mums stating that they always prioritse their kids, I just don't believe it I'm afraid. Not even possible imo

But why? Because her teeth are not quite perfect?

I wouldn't pay for any private cosmetic dental work for DD until she has her wisdom teeth in. Quite few of my friends had to do braces again after theirs came in as they messed all their teeth up.

Braces are painful and it's a long process I would only want them doing once. I say this as someone looking at invisalign know after retainers at age 9 and train tracks at 16.

Although I'm mid 30s and still only have 3 wisdom teeth!

Im 38 and none of mine have come through! 🙈

Or what about the mum choosing her own happiness over the child’s vanity?

the op has a dental issue that is damaging, the child has a small amount of crowding not causing a health issue!

I’d always put my kids dentistry over mine. If her teeth are slightly overcrowded then I’d be paying to have them fixed. It’s hard to get NHS braces, only one of mine qualified so I paid for the other 2 as I didn’t want them to have crooked teeth however minor and they’re so grateful they had the work done. I look at their teeth and they’re fantastic and means they’re not at all self conscious plus it’s better to have straight teeth to make it easier to clean and maintain them long term

This

I feel a bit dismayed reading this. Your kid’s a diva, stroppy, entitled. Horrible to read.

👆 this. 100%.

I have prioritised my child's teeth over mine.

Wow. Overnight too . Impressive.

Nah the op is choosing her vanity over her kids.

It’s a shame your dentists didn’t do what ours did and put your children forward for orthodontic assessment regardless of their opinion at that time.
Waiting list round here (Midlands) is eighteen mo the just to get seen initially - so our dentists took the approach that she’d put them on the waiting list just in case, as they both potentially had problems, but still had milk teeth to lose and growing to do!
We finally got seen for assessment at the start of the year, and both DCs have been accepted for NHS treatment - I was surprised at my DD as we thought hers were less likely to need treatment, but hers is actually now more complex.
My point is - things can change - and dependant on the age of your DD now, it may be that things have : still could change for her, but I think it would be worth getting seen or asking the dentist for a referral regardless of their opinion…
Your own dental treatment is a separate issue, and I must say, I’m very jealous as I would love to be in a position to have treatment myself! Good for you - hope you are happy with the results 👍🏻

This.

@Funkyslippers you will twist anything anyone says including dentists to justify splurging on your own teeth before fixing your own child's teeth.

My DC are adults now and read Mumsnet themselves and yes we discuss how self centred some parents are on here. Always putting their own needs first.