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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

187 replies

Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 09:46

I don’t have any symptoms except that I feel more agitation around my period. Always been like that actually but just a little worse, although we do have other stresses.

Not a single other symptom. My periods are regular as clockwork and have not changed in anyway. I had a blood test done recently and all came back normal.

And yet every single friend I have (same age as me) is talking about perimenopause as if it’s 100% definitely that we are all in it and it is to blame for everything. Bad day at work? Perimenopause. Did a big fart? Perimenopause. Itchy armpit? Perimenopause.

I can’t relate and I find it kind of catastrophising very normal things. When the real symptoms come, how will they feel then? When I say oh no, I don’t think it’s perimenopause as I don’t have symptoms, they’ll list all these things that I don’t think are symptoms.

so, is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

OP posts:
PenCreed · 10/09/2024 09:48

Yes. I’m 43, it’s not hit yet…

DataPup · 10/09/2024 09:49

I'm 44 and I've not noticed any signs. I'm freezing today, I'd quite appreciate a hot flush!

Fleeceyhat · 10/09/2024 09:50

Yes - I have a very high AMH, high Antral follicle count, all bloods eg FSH normal and very regular cycles with ovulation but the women in my family don’t have menopause till 58-62

Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 09:51

Thanks. When I see friends, I start to feel like I must have been perimenopausal since I was 20 as I’ve always done big farts and been prone to skin irritation!

OP posts:
Autumnweddingguest · 10/09/2024 09:53

Definitely. I didn't notice peri-menopause symptoms until I was 50. Menopause came 5 years later.

Catza · 10/09/2024 09:53

It's broadly genetic so you should be able to gauge when you are due peri from your female family member's experiences. In my family, we plod along until late 40s so I am not expecting anything in the next 5 years. I have. however, been feeling increasingly fatigued in the last year and I am on OC so no way to track if my periods are still regular. I will probably do a cursory check with the GP at some point soon.

LaPalmaLlama · 10/09/2024 09:54

I definitely wasn’t at 43. When I was 48 I found myself a bit lethargic/ brain foggy with night time itching annd insomnia and so I take HRT which has sorted it. I think the problem is that it can be very gradual and start at a wide variety of ages, so it’s 💯 possible you’re not in peri at 43 but also completely possible that your symptoms are the early stages. But if it doesn’t bother you, don’t worry about it.

rolandthefarter · 10/09/2024 09:55

I'm 49 and haven't had any peri symptoms yet.

Fifiellz · 10/09/2024 09:56

I'm 49 and no signs yet, or maybe just no strong symptoms - who knows!

Can't go by my mum or maternal aunt as they both had hysterectomies due to fibroids early 40's.

Everyone assumes I am menopausal though and I can't even have a good moan without it being attributed to that which is really annoying!

rolandthefarter · 10/09/2024 09:58

Everyone assumes I am menopausal though and I can't even have a good moan without it being attributed to that which is really annoying!

Yes this! Even my GP said all women my age are perimenopausal 😑

CaveMum · 10/09/2024 09:59

Peri can start up to 10 years before Menopause but it won’t for everyone. I’m 43, been having symptoms on and off for 2 years which have got progressively worse - joint ache, brain fog, insomnia, massive mood swings, etc. I started HRT 6 weeks ago and feel like a new person.

So whilst yes it’s absolutely possibly not to be in Peri at 43, don’t dismiss your friends’ symptoms- everyone is different and will react differently to the hormonal changes.

UnaOfStormhold · 10/09/2024 09:59

Some women sail through with no symptoms at all so it's perfectly possible. And there's a huge menopause commercial and media bandwagon trying to sell women stuff they don't need, so the pendulum has definitely swung from neglecting menopause to hyping it.

That said, I started taking HRT at 45 for insomnia/bone health and was pleasantly surprised how many other niggling problems cleared up which I hadn't realised were hormone-related!

Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 09:59

It doesn’t bother me, I feel the same as ever. I just find it really hard when every normal interaction is put down to the perimenopause.

Ie - husband has been a right bastard that day and when I recount the argument -
”You’re probably perimenopausal”

cat has done a shit in the bath and I got angry
“you’re probably perimenopausal”

bloody yeast infection in armpit again (always suffered with this)
”youre probably perimenopausal”

it feels dismissive and a throwaway answer

OP posts:
Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 10:00

UnaOfStormhold · 10/09/2024 09:59

Some women sail through with no symptoms at all so it's perfectly possible. And there's a huge menopause commercial and media bandwagon trying to sell women stuff they don't need, so the pendulum has definitely swung from neglecting menopause to hyping it.

That said, I started taking HRT at 45 for insomnia/bone health and was pleasantly surprised how many other niggling problems cleared up which I hadn't realised were hormone-related!

This is exactly it. I feel like an ad campaign has taken over my friends!!!

OP posts:
GingerPirate · 10/09/2024 10:06

Yes, of course.
45 yo here and nothing so far, but both mother and grandmother had their periods into their late sixties.
☹️

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

Tourmalines · 10/09/2024 10:15

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

Exactly this . Ignore your friends.

Improbablywrong · 10/09/2024 10:16

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 10/09/2024 10:13

If you're having regular periods you aren't perimenopausal.

You’d think so but the amounts of times I hear “you might still be perimenopausal, most women are and don’t know”.

OP posts:
Happyearlyretirement · 10/09/2024 10:16

I feel the same about the menopause, I luckily sailed through it 5 years ago, any small issue my friends cry menopause, I feel it takes away from people who really suffer.

Summertimer · 10/09/2024 10:16

43 sounds quite early for the peri menopause

mbosnz · 10/09/2024 10:17

I'm 52, and only just hit perimenopause.

2chocolateoranges · 10/09/2024 10:18

I started to show signs last year when I was 47, so it is possible that you aren’t peri menopausal yet. I think as soon as women hit mid 40s everyone blames every symptom on the menopause, I know it’s happened to me!

MikanOrange · 10/09/2024 10:18

The mental / emotional symptoms often come before physical ones. I have none of the physical ones (yet) but have noticed increased brain fog, anxiety, etc.

Q124 · 10/09/2024 10:18

I'm 42 and no symptoms that im aware of. Although I've had insomnia a couple of time lately where I've never had this before. I did wonder whether insomnia could be a first sign.

Bornnotbourne · 10/09/2024 10:18

Yelling I’m not fucking perimenopausal probably won’t help!!
I agree attribution of every minor illness is annoying especially as someone who menopausal due to aggressive treatment in her 30’s. I try not eye roll at the media and the hype around the menopause.